Couch 54, Where Are You?

Well...just popping in and catching up before heading to C's.

I got a call earlier from the senior place asking if I could work Monday morning. I told them I could only work till 2 because I had C in the afternoon and she said that was fine. Yea 5 more hours. Is it "bad" that I am celebrating about getting more money? Growing up I was taught that it was "greedy" and "sinful". This issue comes up in T all the time. I will mention I feel wrong for feeling a certain way (i.e. - angry or proud of myself) because I was taught it was "sinful" and T will try to explain to me why it is not and that I can't believe everything my parents taught me.

hey peeps just want to share something with you all. i know for me that sometimes when i am hurt and don't feel that i have any control over who is hurting me it is a completely horrible and powerless feeling .i bet everyone here can relate and understand that feeling. when someone just laughs at something you have no control over, are so ignorant you have no hope of ever understanding the reason for the meanness. a point that you know any rational thing you may say to this person would be thrown back with even more ignorance and pain. i know that being 4 ft 8 in i have been at the receiving end of this kind of ignorance and hurt all my life and have been left feeling helpless to do anything about the situation .all i know is i have reached a level of hurt and so on that i just wanted to lash out and hurt back however i could , attack back at things that that person could do nothing about. to try and make that person feel as hurt and helpless as i was to the situation. to say .H.e.l.l with being the bigger person just this once.
i just hope that i could even though my choice to act out in this may have not been the best decision at the time .i would hope that people here on this forum would be able to see the amount of hurt and pain i was in and would be able to help support me in handling it .
anyway i hope i have not offended because i am never good at putting my words together to make a point as some here but the care and feelings are there . i would hope some would be able to understand this and know ware i am coming from
off the box now thanks for reading

recently someone pointed out to me that we could loose some good people here looking for support because of our reactions when that person needed our support most and not judgment.(wise words) we are not all perfect .i hope all my imperfections can be at least accepted here along with others .i love you all. i know it's silly but i care about you peeps .all ya faces.

Oh hush! You are more than alright! I can't believe I said hush - who am I, paula deen??

The above was meant for granite, but it applies to squirrely too. I am just so proud of you that they keep calling you like that, and that you're too busy to even take a "dangerous" summer job. I am just so glad you are getting recognized for being so reliable. It is really putting good karma out into the world!

You can do it Lola! You are still the fabulous woman you always were.

Hooray! Well done Granite.

Hi Roseleigh!

The worker is worthy of her hire.
Also, she works hard for her money and you'd better treat her right.

my husband is home and i just dont want to deal with him.i am still hurt.

Granite, one of the things I am learning in therapy is that I have to share how I feel with my husband, rather than withdraw. It is HARD, but I have tried a few times and it has shown me that my perceptions are not always accurate.

Exciting news from my Son's allergist appointment.. He is NO LONGER allergic to dairy. This has been an allergy he has had since birth!! We kind of had a hunch he was getting less and less reactive, but he is officially declared dairy allergy free according to his doctor!! 1 allergy down, 3 more to go (peanuts, tree nuts, eggs)!

Awesome Healed!!

Yup, this is what my T and our MC keep on saying to me. It is HARD for me, but I think it is going to be necessary for our marriage to work out!!

Well, I am home. Got 1/2 an hour less with C than usual. It didn't take long for his step-mom to show me where things in their house were, so I got done a little after 5 instead of 5:30. $7.50 less than I would normally be paid on a Wednesday. Oh well. It's only $7.50, but those do add up, if it keeps happening. Hopefully it won't be an every week occurance.

Get to work all day at the senior place tomorrow and Friday. Then I have Saturday off...so I can clean. Then work all day at the senior place on Sunday. Busy few days ahead. Can't wait to be paid on Friday...it should be a rather large check as I had about 42 hours this pay period (over the course of 2 weeks). Then, C on Monday will be big as well, as I had a few extra days in there as well. I think I am going to make it through the summer.

thanks P but the thing is every time i ask him about it he doesn't seem to be honest about it. he always has a differnt excuse.i am finding it hard to believe them now. it just hurts he is my best friend and im scared.. he says he still loves me but it doesnt feel like it these days

you go girl

Howdy all on the couch. Whew! It took me forever to catch up. Been without phone,cable and internet for a couple days. Life just cant be boring I guess. A tree fell on my damn house during a storm the other night. Ughhhhh always something I suppose. Now I am trying to figure out if it is worth putting in an insurance claim or not. It's so frustrating. I already have a tentative offer on the house, just need this stupid divorce to be over so I can get out of here before anything else happens. At least for the time being I'm all for NOT owning my own home....

Oh and having stupid physical "memories" ever since I mentioned some minor little thing in T yesterday. I don't understand how simply making a brief mention of something inadvertently leaves me feeling it all over again along with all the feelings of terror and shame and filth....anyway, just need it to stop. It's so frustrating. I know that I am here in a different room, in a different house, away from all those people, and am so many years removed from it all... so why do I still feel it?

The mind wants subconsciously to resolve what you struggled with. "The mind has a mind of its own," even?

Also, I'm so sorry for your struggle and hurt.

I am glad about DOMA as well. Almost makes up for the blunder yesterday on the VRA. OK, it's not even close to making up for the VRA screw-up, but at least they got one right, IMO

Ditto on both. That VRA thing is SO messed up.

The couch runs wild in my absence, and when I show up, silence. That's how it stacks up sometimes. Buzz killer.

I just came back from a swim. All mellow now!

Eta: then back to the valachi papers, where people are getting knocked off r& l. What I would really like is a xref of this to the godfather.

How's the MP3 working out?

How many lives did you save today?

I've just removed Madame T's number from my cell phone.