How does a client's suicide affect their T?

growlithing · Jul 29, 2013, 11:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by feralkittymom

Good that you're eating better! I know that can be tough. My T once told me that all of the medication and therapy in the world wouldn't help me if I didn't take basic care of myself, and he was absolutely right.

The bombings were awful. I have estranged family in that area, so I understand the anxiety being there would have caused. I'm sure your Dean understood that as well.

Can you contact your Prof to get some clarity about what you don't understand about your assignments? As a prof myself, I'm always happy to respond to such e-mails from students. Then you can show your Mom--if she demands to see--the steps you've taken. If she uses that as an excuse to belittle you, steel yourself, and calmly say, " I'm taking the steps my Prof recommends and finds acceptable; that's all that matters." And just ignore anything she says further. Don't engage. I know how frightening it can be to confront an abusive parent, but putting up a responsive wall they can bounce off of is easier.

Have you ever read the short story, "Bartleby, the Scrivener"? It's by Melville. It's so old, you can find it free on-line. I think it would help you to see how he resists.

Keep letting us know what's going on, ok?

Yeah, it was really hard to keep taking care of myself when food wasn't readily available and was so upset about leaving.

The bombings upset me and certainly added to my stress considerably, but I was mostly just really scared about summer vacation. The problem that I have with the homework isn't so much that I need clarification, it's that I forgot the material and it's not exactly something you can just google search or read about. I'd need to have him almost semi-reteach me. I'm just trying to get myself to remember how to do it and working my way through it slowly.

I'll be sure to look it up when I get through all of this. It's actually probably pretty good for me to have work to do... even if it is tedious and frustrating and I have horrible problems regarding perfectionism so I make it last even longer than it should.

I kinda feel bad about resurfacing this thread over and over, but I guess I can't really just scare a bunch of people and then not update anyone. So yeah, I can update anyone who wants an update.

growlithing · Jul 30, 2013, 12:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FeelTheBurn

Do what you can, growlithing. Know that, if she does cut you off, you will survive it, as many have before you. It might be difficult, but you will find a way. And that she'll be doing you a favor in the long run.

We're all here for you. Keep in touch. Take good care of yourself, eat right, take walks, whatever is best for you. And remember--you own your life. No one can take that away from you.

I know it would be better for me in the long run, and I also kinda know that she won't do it because if she did, she'd lose all control of me because the second I can get away from her, I'm gone and I'm changing all of my contact info/blocking her email from the accounts I can't delete. But it still always scares me that she will even after all of the times she's said that and then did nothing. I know she's just trying to manipulate me. I'm just scared that she will because she's so unpredictable. I called her while I was away and she told me that I was an ungrateful waste of money and then yesterday she was all "oh I missed you so much" and now she's threatening me with an extreme amount of debt because I couldn't possibly reapply for financial aid before tuition is due on Monday. I just wish she'd pick an attitude and stay with it and to be frank, I don't really care which one at this point.

Thanks for your support. It really helps me feel just a little bit less alone.

Poppy Princess · Jul 30, 2013, 12:06 AM

I actually asked my most recent T this. She said I was looking for an emotional grab and that she wouldn't give me one.

learning1 · Jul 30, 2013, 12:29 AM

Sorry to hear your Mom is not being very considerate or reasonable. Making something up to show her sounds like a good way to work around it.

Bill3 · Jul 30, 2013, 12:56 AM

Hi Growlithing. I just wanted to thank you for keeping us updated.

Hang in there!

growlithing · Jul 30, 2013, 01:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bill3

Hi Growlithing. I just wanted to thank you for keeping us updated.

Hang in there!

Thanks for caring enough to want updates! I'm doing the best I can and I guess I've been keeping it together fairly well for the past two days lol. I guess it has to start somewhere.

Bill3 · Jul 30, 2013, 08:51 AM

Quote:

I'm doing the best I can and I guess I've been keeping it together fairly well for the past two days lol.

Excellent. You are off to a good start!

(Does that really look like a high five?)

Again: Hang in there!

growlithing · Jul 31, 2013, 02:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bill3

Excellent. You are off to a good start!

(Does that really look like a high five?)

Again: Hang in there!

lol no it looks like some sort of weird dance thing

I'm still hanging on... I managed to finish 90% of the work I had to do today. It took me over 8 hours and it was really almost cruel of myself to try and force myself to focus that long. My ADHD is fairly severe and I imagine most of it is wrong, but I have stuff to give my mom.

It's still really really hard and I'm really lonely/isolated.

feralkittymom · Jul 31, 2013, 03:41 AM

Wow! You need to treat yourself after all that work! Maybe something yummy and a good movie?

growlithing · Jul 31, 2013, 10:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by feralkittymom

Wow! You need to treat yourself after all that work! Maybe something yummy and a good movie?

Haha maybe! Movies feel like a huge commitment to me though. That's a long time to be sitting in one place watching something :P

Bill3 · Jul 31, 2013, 11:20 AM

Good job still hanging on and in getting that work done!

I had a sneaking suspicion that it didn't really look like a high five...

...

Maybe this is better?:

http://coedmagazine.files.wordpress....igh-five-1.jpg

I'm sorry about the loneliness and isolation. Keep on hanging in there! What might distract you for a while or help you feel less lonely and isolated?

growlithing · Jul 31, 2013, 11:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bill3

Good job still hanging on and in getting that work done!

I had a sneaking suspicion that it didn't really look like a high five...

...

Maybe this is better?:

http://coedmagazine.files.wordpress....igh-five-1.jpg

I'm sorry about the loneliness and isolation. Keep on hanging in there! What might distract you for a while or help you feel less lonely and isolated?

Haha! Are those rabbits? Cute.

Practice helps, video games help, and we did just adopt a baby pig for the other one. She was really REALLY lonely and I'm not sure I've ever seen an animal as happy when we gave her a friend. The baby is completely precious too. And the fact that my mom just went out of town for about 4 days is good too.

growlithing · Aug 02, 2013, 12:33 PM

Sorry to resurface this thread. I know a handful of people are following this and I'd like to tell you guys that I contacted an official from my school asking for help/ideas to get help. So yeah. I told someone who can contact my T partially what is going on. I hope they can provide some ideas or even have my T contact me. I dunno. We'll see.

Aug 02, 2013, 12:37 PM

Thank you. And thank you for letting us know.

growlithing · Aug 02, 2013, 12:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mastodon

Thank you. And thank you for letting us know.

Thanks for caring about me. I haven't gotten a response yet, so I'll update again if/when anything happens.

FeelTheBurn · Aug 02, 2013, 12:41 PM

That's great!! I'm glad you took some power and reached out, and I hope you get some help in return. Way to look out for yourself!

growlithing · Aug 02, 2013, 12:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FeelTheBurn

That's great!! I'm glad you took some power and reached out, and I hope you get some help in return. Way to look out for yourself!

Well, she contacted me first. One of the deans knows about my struggles and contacted me to make sure I was still okay and I told her what is going on. Well, not literally but I said I need help and don't know how to get it without calling 911 and my situation isn't exactly that dire. So I guess I reached out. It's probably good that someone irl with some power knows I'm struggling.

Aug 02, 2013, 01:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by growlithing

Well, she contacted me first. One of the deans knows about my struggles and contacted me to make sure I was still okay and I told her what is going on. Well, not literally but I said I need help and don't know how to get it without calling 911 and my situation isn't exactly that dire. So I guess I reached out. It's probably good that someone irl with some power knows I'm struggling.

Oh, good for you! Hang on; we're all rooting for you and hoping for the best for you.

Bill3 · Aug 02, 2013, 03:35 PM

Good job!

growlithing · Aug 02, 2013, 03:39 PM

Well, she responded. She said there really isn't anything she or anyone can do when I'm so far away and urged me to go to the hospital if I need immediate help. So. I guess I'm just stuck.

Aug 02, 2013, 03:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by growlithing

Well, she responded. She said there really isn't anything she or anyone can do when I'm so far away and urged me to go to the hospital if I need immediate help. So. I guess I'm just stuck.

Ugh. Seriously though, HOW stuck are you? Do you have a car? Are you over 18? Have friends you can bunk with back in your college town?

growlithing · Aug 02, 2013, 04:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by My kids are cool

Ugh. Seriously though, HOW stuck are you? Do you have a car? Are you over 18? Have friends you can bunk with back in your college town?

I'm 20 years old. I do not have my driver's license due to my parents not letting me practice drive or take the test. My college town is Boston, but I am in Michigan. All of my friends live in New York and New England. There is no public transportation where I am and I don't have a bike. I have no money to get a plane ticket out of here or afford a cab to even get to the airport. My parents' house is on a major road with no sidewalk.

... so I'm pretty stuck.

Bill3 · Aug 02, 2013, 04:54 PM

I am sorry that you are stuck for now. You have been there for how many days now? How are you doing so far?

growlithing · Aug 02, 2013, 05:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bill3

I am sorry that you are stuck for now. You have been there for how many days now? How are you doing so far?

Well, it's been 77 days since I left school. I was at a festival for five of those weeks. I've been back from that festival for 6 days. So I've spent a total of 47 days here with 30 more to go.

I'm still alive. I'm painfully lonely and bored, but things are better since my mom went out of town. She's coming back on Sunday and I am really REALLY not looking forward to that. I keep hearing her screaming at me in my head even though she's not here. I can't sleep, but the house is more peaceful at 4am when no one is there anyway. I haven't managed to stop self harming, but I don't feel I'm in serious danger anymore despite what I did last week. I have to make it home.

Tarra · Aug 02, 2013, 05:27 PM

Growlithing, I'm sorry you're in this position. Keep holding on, life will get better.

When you contacted the official, did you ask specifically if they could help you contact your T? If not, maybe it didn't occur to them. You could reply and say - there is something you could do, talking to my therapist would really help me right now, can you ask them to contact me please?

Though I know it can be hard asking for things you need when the answer might be no.

Hugs.

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