Does anyone else feel stupid and embarrassed after sessions sometimes?

I wish I never shared my stupid thoughts in session yesterday. If I kept my mouth shut T wouldn't have known how stupid I am.

I shared some embarrassing private bad thoughts (such as men are bad and cannot be trusted). I told T I was aware that my thinking was wrong, but I wanted to share anyway.

In response, T went on about how I was too literal, too black or white, and went off on a tangent on how if a child says he hates his mom, it doesn't really mean he hates his mom.

I was hoping she could hear the feelings behind my words, and allow me to explain why I felt that way, instead of immediately correcting me. I felt myself getting sensitive and shut down. I didn't feel understood or heard.

I also felt so alone. I felt envious that T was one of those "normal people" who could have happy, loving relationships with men and she was looking down on me for my wrong feelings.

I am sure she meant well and wanted to make me aware of my misconceptions.

I will apologize next session for being stupid, and thank her for being nice and helpful even when I am stupid. If I feel brave, I will tell her how I felt last session. Usually my T is very good at listening. I blame myself, perhaps I didn't explain my thoughts clearly.

Thank you for being here.

I dont think you need to apologise at all. You were simply expressing your feelings
Your feelings and thoughts are shaped on our past experiences so you have been hurt and betrayed by men???
If so it's understandable to feel and think like that because you haven't experienced anything else from men. This is a normal feeling for you and you don't need to apologise, I think your t does because she wasn't very empathetic about it. She is right that can change your thoughts about it but only when you learn that not all people are bad and not all men hurt us. I am sorry you feel like this but you have nothing to feel ashamed or stupid of.

This sounds exactly like a session that I had. I too told my T that I hated all men. While I can't remember exactly what he said, I do remember feeling a little stupid when I got home. It got me thinking about why I hated men. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I didn't hate "ALL" men. I was just thinking of all the men who had harmed me in some way. Then I felt bad because I had basically just told my T that I hated him. Of course I didn't hate him. Which proved that I didn't hate all men. I did offer him an apology the next time I saw him, and he told me that I didn't owe him one because he could understand why I felt the way I did.

You are entitled to your feelings about men. You don't owe anyone an apology for how you feel. I'm willing to bet that this isn't the first time that your T has heard someone say this.

This isn't the only time that I've said something ebarrassing, and it probably won't be the only time for you. You should be proud of yourself for disclosing how you really feel. There is no other way for therapy to work if you aren't willing to be completely honest, and not hold things back. It sounds to me like you are very brave.

I agree with Imperfertme, you should feel proud of yourself for letting it out, and you don't need to apologise, AND you are very brave. I have things in my past i would never even think to tell anyone, it would be bad for me, things I've done, thought, or acted on too. Therefore, you should pat yourself on the back for yourself, congradulations for the step you just took!!

I have almost the same conversation with my therapist week after week (men hate fat women). He does point out my black and white thinking (I do have distorted thinking patterns) and of course I challenge him.

It's a vicious cycle that won't be healed until I re-think my patterns.

I often, leave feeling like a fool! "Gee, did I really say that". But, I've been assured by my therapist that I can say anything, no filter needed.

Which is good, because I tend to be open and share everything, I mean everything!

You are not alone Melody Bells! Hugs to you!

Don't apologize and don't blame yourself. It's your therapist's job to be able to listen to you. If you don't tell her what you really feel, you'll get nowhere.

Open up the floodgates and let it flow!

I just wanted to tell you that I've done similar things and felt silly after. Often I walk to my car saying "stupid stupid stupid" after such a session.

I told my T in my last session that people suck.she wanted me to share specific situations that I am basing my statement on. she never came right out and said that I am wrong or that it is black and white . thank goodness because I think that would have made me shut down completely. I couldn't give her any because it really hurt to think of them .I just asked her to please just believe me. she said she couldn't. that she was not naïve enough think there are no bad people in this world but that she felt I was talking about specific people or situations and that is what she wanted to talk about. it is hard to get a T to believe in such broad terms .I just told her the world is a big place and there are very few people I don't see as horrible.so ya I kind of always feel stupid after sessions

Melody - how about if instead of apologizing, you tell her
E X A C T L Y T H I S

I was aware that my thinking was wrong, but I wanted to share anyway. In response, T went on about how I was too literal, too black or white, and went off on a tangent [...] I was hoping she could hear the feelings behind my words, and allow me to explain why I felt that way, instead of immediately correcting me. I felt myself getting sensitive and shut down. I didn't feel understood or heard.

SO SO SO important.

"Stupid stupid stupid" is our favorite saying! Usually accompanied by slapping ourselves on the forehead.

So far I've left each of my sessions (not too many of them at all) feeling embarassed and stupid. You're not alone in that!

Some sessions I feel more stupid and embarrassed than others...It's hard sharing child-like feelings as an adult for me. I'm a very independent person who rarely asks for help so its humiliating in a way, to have to go to T in the first place. Then he hears all my moaning and groaning and afterward as I get up to leave, I'm almost running for the door. It's awkward, to say the least. You are definitely not alone

You are far from alone!! OMG...therapy is one of the hardest things to go through, especially when the real work begins! (i'm entering into that phase now.. ) Yeah...it can be embarrassing as all hell...humiliating, and very uncomfortable..but it seems that it is necessary in order for us to grow, to heal. I feel for you...but hang in there! You are among friends

Everyone, I am reading your every word with appreciation. I am so touched and thankful for your caring words. You helped me to feel less alone, your kind messages cheered me up! You are wonderful!

I especially feel stupid the session after one that is intense/emotional, usually I've cried etc.
The next session I feel like, "ugh, I have to face him after bawling."
or even sessions that are not emotional but I've ventured into TMI territory.
"ugh, how did I end up talking about female waxing with this guy-WTF is wrong with me???"

So I think it is just a part of therapy. But it is nice to be a train wreck but not get judged for it. And to have someone still hold some affection for you afterwards.