Couch 60: Don't forget the beachball!

Well I have 3 boxes of books, 1 huge box of VCR family movies, 1 box household items and 1 bag of clothes and 1 bag of purses and shoes so far for the yard sale.... (okay admittingly - some things were stuff someone gave us that I'm just continuing to give away)... oh and in the process through out 2 bags of junk.

I'm taking a little break and then I'm tackling the kids rooms (with their help)....

That's awesome, RTS! Feels good to get stuff OUT of the house!

MUE.... plan B...neighborhood boy.... pay them $$ to mow it for you... other choice...teach your daughter to do it... my son was mowing with a push mower at 11. or

resort to plan A.... do it yourself...it will only get higher when it rains...

ETA: this is coming from a woman who has never ever mowed... my dad said it was too dangerous for a girl to do... so I would definitely pay someone to do it... seems like its cheaper than the copays on all of your pain meds...

Wow Ready. Good for you.

Yeah, good point Ready I was mowing the lawn by that time as well.

Thanks for the suggestions.

I tried getting neighborhood kids to mow my lawn, but the kids around here just don't seem interested in earning money. I had the same issue when practically begging for help to get my property shoveled in the winter. I have a service that I use when I'm in dire need - but when the lawn gets this high, they charge me more ($75 or so) versus the original $45-$50. I hate having to spend that kind of money, so I usually just get my butt out there and do it myself.

There is no way I would let my daughter do it. She has asthma/allergies and is pretty clumsy. I would be terrified letting her do something like that, and she wouldn't be very willing either. Also, we have an in-ground bees nest that has caused me to be stung the last two times that I mowed my lawn...along with huge bugs and spiders. She would run for the hills. LOL.

My niece's boyfriend used to help me out every now and then - but he now has a full time job one state over so his time is very limited. They barely see each other, so I doubt that he'd be interested in helping me.

Ultimately, I either need to suck it up and get out there - or suck it up and pay the money. But I can't seem to do either without *****in and moanin the whole time. Sorry. LOL.

We have 3/4 of an acre so my 11 yr old couldn't do it all... my H and 17 year old look like they are dying doing it all in one day with a push mower so it definitely depends on the size of the yard...

I hate to sweat so I complain about doing the laundry at the Laundromat without air conditioning ... I can't imagine pushing a lawn mower unless it was a small yard and it had the self propel thing on it...

So I would be *****in and moanin too

Its so hard being here... my H isn't very happy with me... so its hard... he's communicating only when necessary but its not like he isn't doing anything. He went to the grocery store...

I can't seem to be emotionally available... I'm here but its about getting stuff done.... I guess I just want us to be roommates and friends and coparents and that isn't going over well...

The hard part is that I've not been present in my own life for years... and now that I "woke up" I realized that I'm not the person I once was and let this happen to me but I didn't realize it...so its like I'm seeing myself physicaly as I really am and its not pretty and I don't want anyone to touch me... I'm so gross...

just walking through the mall was so hard... I could just "hear" the thoughts of the people looking at me...could hear the oinking...I know they are really my thoughts but I've heard other people say those things maybe not directed at me but at others...

I can relate to this, RTS. I have those feelings at times too. It's difficult for me to grasp when I hear how much people enjoy me, want me around, etc. when I see myself in the mirror. I'm like, how on earth could you possibly want to be anywhere near me?

Then I remember that I see people as more than just their physical appearance. My feelings about them are based on so much more, and their appearance is not very important. Somehow, I can't seem to grasp that concept when it's about me.

Yes... maybe for coworkers and friends...

but my H already told me he's no longer attracted to me but for some reason...guess because I'm here and "legal" he still wants to have s*x... I should be grateful...right? but really its humiliating.... to be with someone who says that I'm no longer attractive and haven't been in years... and then let him touch me... I've been doing it for months but I'm such a friggin mess afterwards (in my head) that I don't think I can do it anymore...

maybe after I loose weight or have the bariatric surgery and loose the weight and get a "mommy job" cosmetic surgery... but right now its too painful...

Ugh, RTS, that does sound awful. Do you have an idea of what's causing you to consent to something that doesn't feel good for you?

When my marriage went downhill, I used to feel grossed out afterwards too. I also did it out of "obligation" or so that my H didn't stray. Sometimes, I would put him out of my mind and just concentrate on trying to enjoy it. But the disgusting feelings still surfaced at the end, every time. Many times, he'd know I wasn't interested - badgering me until I finally said, "Just get it over with!" He was never affected by my lack of interest, as long as he got what he wanted.

I'd imagine I would feel completely humiliated as well if I knew that he wasn't physically attracted to me.

Edited to add: He used to tell me that he was just using me to get what he wanted and always gawked at other women, watched porn, made some comments every now and then about my weight or looks. I learned that he tried to get one of my best friends to sleep with him while we were married. Yet, I'd imagine that hearing the words of not being attracted to me would have a greater impact, for some reason.

I can't believe I still haven't gotten showered and made it up to the swim club. I packed the girls some snacks and drinks....and they are of age to be able to stay at the swim club without an adult (age 12+). And we live, literally, 7 houses away from the swim club, so they could always walk home. So, why am I so worried? Gah.

Gonna push myself to get in the shower now....

Wow...work has really been wearing me out. It's been a week since I have been on PC and I miss over 20 pages on the olod couch and almost 50 on the new couch. It'd take me forever to catch up on that. I need to get off my butt when I get home from work and do something other than eat and veg in front of the TV. Not that vegging in front of the computer would be any better, but it'd be something different.

I am on a bus again this year. The supported unit got another kid and he needs a bus, so I was asked if I could ride. I said I could as long as it was after I was done with C, otherwise they should ask B to ride. B refused to ride because the pick up is not at "our" school and she "needs" her car at school.

The special needs guidance counselor explained the situation to the bus compound and they said the pick up location couldn't change because of where the student lived. They did however work it out where it doesn't pick up until 9:00 (I am done with C at 8:20) at a high school 5 minutes away from where the student lives. So now I get C ready for school, get him on his bus. Drive 20 minutes from his bus stop to the high school 2 towns over. Get on "my" bus there. Go pick up the student at my school. Drive 3 towns over to "my" school. It'll mean getting home later in the afternoon, but it will also mean more money.

Yes, I would rather have my car at "my" school, but it's not that big of a deal. It's not like I am parking on a street corner...I am parking at a school in a relatively good location (beach side). So it's not like I will come back to my car on blocks or anything. B will just have to "suck it up" and not have her car at school on the days I have T, as she is the only one not on a bus now and the only "fill in". Stupid drama.

Well, did I miss anything important on the couch since I was on last Sunday?

I hope everyone is having a good holiday weekend. No work for me tomorrow...so cleaning it will be.

Does that bother you?

The movie The Butler was awesome.

Good afternoon.. I have gotten a lot accomplished, but frustrated with myself, with h, with life in general. Ugh!

CE, we must have run into stopdog at the same time; I was looking at the "must see" photos on MSN Must See January 2013 on MSN Photos

Something's bugging me. The normal trivial annoyances of life are stressing me out.

Blood sugar high. Inject insulin.

Sorry potentially triggering post removed

Healed...glad you accomplished alot... Sorry u are frustrated...

Lola...I'm glad you enjoyed the movie hope the visit with the youngest went well...

Murray...your attitude is what spurred me on to get stuff together for yard sale...thanks...

MUE... Its a long complicated story... Needless to say my H doesnt see the issue because its not like he thinks I'm disgusting or anything...(his words)

well I have 2 boxes of toys and we havent hit the closet yet...

But I'm stopping now to shower and do a quick run to target and then laundromat...and maybe I'll eat... Been trying hard not to do that very much...cheerios at 10am lasted a long while

Cheerios are cocktail frankfurts here, what are they over there? I can't imagine eating cocktail frankfurts before 2pm.