Couch 60: Don't forget the beachball!

What's up Mast?

Just struggling a lot. I see no way out of the mental pain. And I am scared that T will abandon me because I'm so useless at opening up and talking about things.
On Tuesday I'll try doing therapy lying down, with T sitting where I can't see him. I have no idea how that will work.

Anyway. I have loads of stuff to do this weekend, and waste it sitting around feeling sorry for myself. I'll have reason to feel sorry for myself if I don't get started....

How are you?

(((((Mastodon)))))

Sorry you are struggling. I don't think your T will abandon you. From everything I've read here, you have a very good T, who understands how hard it is to talk about stuff sometimes. Can you tell him you are afraid he will abandon you? I hope the lying-down therapy helps. Something different might be what you need. I do understand, a bit, I have been in that place in T where it is impossible to share.

You will find a way out of the mental pain... It's so hard I know but just keep believing in yourself.

Do you find weekends hard? I hope you can find something nice to do for yourself, as well as doing the things you have to do...

I'm here if you need some virtual company. More

I'm ok. I'm frustrated waiting for my foot to heal. But I had a nice day out yesterday, lunch and shopping with a friend. It's good to get out of the house.

Have a pavlova!

Low blood sugar woke me up, so I had some tiramisu.
Just saying hi before I go back to bed.

Ha! Probably the tiramisu calling you from the fridge woke you up! They can get pretty loud sometimes!

The days DO get shorter faster in September than in any other month. I wonder if that pace seems exaggerated further north. Anyway I remind myself of that as often as possible, just to keep it conscious.

Missing lots of people!

Has anyone heard from Wiki?

Hi couch! I have been super busy this week getting back into the routine of things this week. Looking forward to relaxing this weekend. Miss you all!

I'm working hard to get ready for a yard sale. I'm at the laundromat to put some clothes I had stored in the dryer to get wrinkles out.... Went through my kids halloween costumes.... Lots and lots of stuff and I probably have enough for another whole yard sale... But it will be time to call it quits soon... And what I have ready is what I sell

*peeks in and looks around*

Hi friends! I'm just checking in. I hope everyone is well!

I'm a bit stressed with work right now, but otherwise, life is pretty good. I'm still in therapy weekly and am still progressing, but at a slower rate than the last time I checked in. I start my master's program next month and am excited and apprehensive.

See y'all later!!

Yay! Great to see you!

Hi Chopin.... Glad to hear that you are progressing and dealing well with your stresses... Good luck with going to grad school!

Hey Chopin, good luck with your masters.

And RTS good luck with the yard sale. Hope you sell loads of stuff!

Hey Healed, Happy Weekend! I am planning lots of relaxation...

Hi Hankster, that is interesting about the days getting shorter faster in September. I had noticed it, but never really thought about it. Like you say, it's good to remember.

It's very quiet here. Did I scare people off?

I'm up late can't sleep.

So strange-just heard some loud yipping and howling--there is a coyote right outside my apt in a very busy suburban area!!! Weird.

ok my good days have come to an end for sure .i feel like i have lost the best friend ever .and things just suck .but i guess i'm over reacting as usual. i don't have any real feelings

Good morning.. I miss the busy couch and all my friends on it!!

Hi granite.. I hope despite your feelings you end up having an enjoyable day!

Did something happen?

basically all the recent stuff here has set off and reinforced my belief that most people in this world are horrible. and i am told i am not able publicly ask for support around it here so i am sure this will be deleted but hey i am hurt so bad . even this forum is filled with horribleness .i feel like i lost so much.

I think there may be a distinction in how help or support is requested versus not being able to ask for support and a distinction between asking for support for one's self (I am hurting, I am upset because something set off these thoughts/bad feelings in me and I would like help/support in containing/understanding/coping with my bad thoughts/feelings) versus going after what was upsetting which is not the same thing as being about you and your feelings (I mean you in the bigger picture - not any one you here specifically- the one seeking).
I may be off base or not understanding the situation, but these are my initial thoughts on it.

Hello, couch peeps....

((( Chopin ))) - Great to hear from you, and glad to see that you're doing well.

((( RTS ))) - Good luck on your yard sale. I'm still prepping for mine, and it's been slow going lately. My neighbor and I have yet to set a date, so I'm going to talk to her about it soon. Thinking early October would be good. A date would help motivate me too, knowing that the more I put out, the more potential to get rid of things.

((( Granite ))) - I'm sorry you're struggling. I've pretty much stayed away from posting on the more loaded threads on the forum. I'm hoping that you'll be able to take away more from it than the conclusion that most people are horrible. I'd imagine that could be more of a coping mechanism on your part to keep you from feeling pain, shame, humiliation or whatever it stirs up for you.

It does seem as though a lot of the couch peeps are missing. I wish I knew what was going on.

Anyhoo...

I'm going out with my paranormal team today to do a house investigation and possibly an exorcism, depending on how the situation plays out. Looking forward to getting together with my team and doing some real investigative work.

Hope everyone has a good day!

Aw, Granite. I get how you're feeling, but try not to get sucked into that thinking -- it's that thinking that there are people who are just horrible that causes one person to turn against another without discussion, and without apology when it turns out that the person actually misunderstood where the other was coming from.

It's a sad fact that often, people who are hurt turn around and hurt other people, and feel justified in doing so. The very same folks who have felt misunderstood their entire lives wind up thinking that they somehow have the special ability to never misunderstand anyone else, and that all of the judgments they pass must be correct -- and therefore the "judgmental" label can never apply to them.

I experienced a milder version of this in high school and college. In my small, dense hometown, I stuck out as a bookish, shy nerd. I wasn't the stereotypical nerd -- I was an artsy type who just happened to be quiet and also really into science -- and I had my core group of awesome and loyal friends, and that was good enough, but let's just say if you look in my high school yearbook, the person voted "class brain" may be of interest to you. Then, I went to a college with a very strong geek culture. I was nowhere near at the level of hardcore geekdom that many of my classmates were. And turns out, I was rejected from THAT culture, and made to feel bad about my relative non-geekiness. Sometimes people get so into being outcasts, they don't realize that they are just doing the same thing in reverse. They thought I didn't understand what it was like to be an outcast. But I did. It was as if they just couldn't believe I would be comfortable (most of the time, but believe it or not geeks, sometimes it hurt!) not being part of any particular group, rather than hunkering down deep into nerddom.

Kind of like how kids think their parents don't understand what they're going through. It's hard for them to look at someone well past the awkwardness and angst of adolescence and picture them as being just as insecure and frustrated once upon a time. Or maybe even still that way, just in private.

All you can do, girl, is just keep on keepin' on. I don't know what happened after I made my last post to your deleted thread -- because I had to go to T, actually! -- but from what I did see, I was actually really impressed that even though I didn't agree with your approach, you were stepping back, looking at what you had said, trying to see what other people saw. That is a really big deal. I really respect that. Don't change it about yourself. Everyone gets upset and says things they regret, and it shows real character when you can look right at that and say, "You know, maybe I should have done things differently."

This is all really hard because for a lot of us, it's just a replay of what life was like when we were kids. Getting told that we are *definitely* saying or doing something we are not saying or doing, feeling not supported while others around us -- and often the people who hurt us -- are the ones seemingly getting support. We're the ones that are less likely to complain, who take on the burden of looking at our own actions, and so we don't get the attention. I didn't immediately leap to your support because as soon as the "H" and "J" words start getting thrown around, or the incredibly obnoxious "SOME people here don't understand you, but I do", I'm out. I worry for my eyes, which may roll so far back into my head to as to be irretrievable .

You have many allies here, but I imagine that like me, yours are the kind who are more likely to disengage and want to move on than to jump on the who-is-in-more-pain-than-whom bandwagon. Don't despair. We harsh, judgmental types need to stick together .

Sally Brown is my new orator.

I don't find that all or nothing is usually correct.
Also, I believe it is possible to like someone but not agree with everything they do or agree with every position they take.
Sometimes I understand the position, but don't agree with how it is presented. Sometimes people think I am off base, some people think I am always off base, but that does not lead to the conclusion they ALL (some dislike me as is to be expected in this world) hate me or would not support me if I asked in a direct and clear manner and made it about me and not something/someone else.

You should save these and create a new line of Hallmark cards. That was great! It's okay to protect ourselves from being hurt. That's the bottom line for me. We couldn't protect ourselves from our FOO, but we can choose who to engage with now. But even here, that's not everybody all the time.