couch 63 the fall line

He does have beautiful glowing skin in the introduction, but that could just be a recent facial, no?

you have to see it to see where he started...autoimmune disease, grossly overweight from prednisone and food, etc. Then there's PHIL...the truckdriver he meets. 429lbs to start. He is inspiring. Also auto immune...tons of medications.

I want off the prednisone. This looks like a doable plan.

Ok- this is not me being whiney.. or look here notice me. I am truly curious..

Did I do something to offend the couch, am I annoying you all? I feel so invisible, a lot of my post go unnoticed. I don't know.. maybe people have me on the ignore list? It just seems different the last couple of days.

I can't think of anything I saw that would be offensive.

Hi Healed.... I understand that feeling... I am not ignoring you and I do try to reply...

When I have felt this way in the past and asked, I was told that people cant reply to every post or maybe if they have nothing to contributr they dont say anything... It was hard for me because I really needed support at the time but then again I didnt ask for it...

But its so good you asked and I hope others respond

Sometimes, Healed, I see your posts as just kind of comments on things -- like being in the waiting room. But then you seem upset when people don't respond even though no response seems really requested or it's just not the kind of post that I at least would typically reply to or add a comment to. I do not see what you say as offense -- just not something that is needing or wanting a response. Perhaps that is me misreading posts.

Thanks SD and RTS- RTS I have noticed you are one of the only ones who does reply to me, I see that.

I get that people don't always have something to say to my specific situation.. just feels like something has changed a bit.

Yes, I guess that is true.

Ready, you asked about my horse's PT earlier and I appreciate it. I was at a CLE all day and my Internet time was really limited. He seems to be doing okay but the real stuff doesn't start until tomorrow morning. He was supposed to have a couple days off after the chiropractic adjustment. I am supposed to ride tomorrow morning bi not for more than 15 minutes.

Healed... Sometimes i see a little of myself in you (although I could be projecting)...

You word things similarly... Like today you could have said... I'm sitting in thw T waiting room really nervous about what T is going to say about the email....really need pocket riders.. People would have known you needed support...

I have a hard time asking for what i need

See that is the thing, I am now only saying it because I don't feel supported. Some of it is.. Like today, me posting that I was at T.. as just a hey, I am checking in. And in general if I see something like that.. I say, hey so and so, GL at T.. Or enjoy your workout, or whatever that person is going to do.. and that doesn't generally happen with my posts.

But- really this could all be in my head, too.

My S is taking his first solo drive... Its the beginning of the end....

Eek!!!

omg I remember my son going on his first solo drive .I was a nervous wreck the whole time he was gone . thank god it was only to the store to get me something lol

I had an interesting experience in T today..

We were talking about the things I have done in T in the last almost two years.. He mentioned that us visiting the site of my trauma and how that stirred things up for me and brought on more memories that have been painful, but helped me to deal with things more. As soon as he mentioned me remembering more things, one particular memory was stuck in my head.. it played over and over again.. to the point, that right near the end, he was asking me a question and I remember hearing him ask it, I wasn't looking at him, but it took a minute or two to process that he was asking me to respond. I admitted to him that this memory had been playing over and over in my head during the whole session and panic had set in. So, we briefly talked about it and helped to remind me to ground myself, etc.. Then ask me to maybe write about it..I have done this before, written about the rape.. but, how do I put in writing one memory of a huge event.. what do I write? Kind of stuck.. wondering if I should just start writing what I "see" and go from there.

heald I read all your posts I just didn't think anything I had to respond was all that important .sorry I wasn't ignoring you

I would suggest just writing if that works for you. Or try it as a story.

Luckily its just to pick up pizza

I see you, Healed!

I like wind. It makes me feel alive.

Air is my element.

Thanks for thinking of me Ready
Things are going alright I guess. Have a number of things that I have been mulling over and been tempted to start a thread or even post on the couch but then panic and delete what I have written....

I did go see the movie Gravity last weekend and enjoyed it very much.

Hi Murray....

I so totally get the deleting thing...but I hope you decide to post if you think it will be helpful....

I like the actors in it so maybe I'll go see it.

Healed, I'd go with writing what you see with the memory and then with whatever comes up during the writing. I wouldn't worry about it making much sense; maybe go with more of a stream of consciousness approach.

I've been having random weepy spells the last couple of weeks and I'm irrationally annoyed at T, but I don't know why either thing is going on.

MKAC....hope your ride goes well for you and horse....

Its raining so hard tonight.... I love fall chilly nights but rain will keep me from sleeping with window open...

Its lonely in the house... I'm not angry or sad or anything over the top emotionwise...just realizing that my H and I have very little in common...i dont even finds the things he laughs at entertaining let alone funny