[healingme4me]

I feel, that I will miss my T. We are winding down, as in finality. He asked, if I wanted to book another appointment, or just leave it wide open?

Next month, marks 25 years at that location, with years prior to that, elsewhere. I congratulated him, I (hope?)!! He went into private practice, right around the time, of some of my darkest hours.

I sense a retirement in the making. And I couldn't feel any more feelings of, 'good for you!!'

I booked one, in one month. Perhaps, symbolically speaking, it's time, for me, as well. To not be in therapy.

[growlycat]

Work people p1ssed me off today. I hate it when people have to put down others in order to make themselves look like a hero. f you, colleagues. fu all

[someone321]

Bad, H asked me (gently) if I could do more things at home (I would say that he does 80% of all household chores) because it's a bit "unfair" - I absolutely agree with him but how could I tell him that it's not a pure laziness (or maybe it is?) but PTSD? He doesn't know anything about it and I wouldn't like to worry him... Maybe it's better that he thinks that I'm just lazy than that he would hate my family...
He knows that I hate crowds and parties, am lazy and always exhausetd, sometimes moody and do not make phone calls but there is no chance that he could link it to PTSD...

[RTerroni]

Sad that I will have to miss session (for the second time in a 1 month span) due to the weather, but I can't control it.

[Leah123]

broken...

[snarkydaddy]

manageable

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Sad and tired

[growlycat]

Spiraling downward, pulling up as best I can

[Freewilled]

So tired....going to miss seeing T this week as he's out of town....trying to work on being more mindful and dealing firmly but compassionately with my emotions. How can something so simple turn out to be so vey complex ?

[RTerroni]

Great since I'll be able to have session today, I though that it would certainly have to be canceled due to the weather but that held off.

[someone321]

Pretty good, I realized that I always feel good after having classes with students

[someone321]

Now I'm just angry. My T said yesterday that my brother triggers me by sending so many text messages but I do not agree as these texts are very neutral or funny...
But I've just got an e-mail from my mother-in-law (who is pretty nice but she's really overprotective and just "too much"):
"Hey! What is going on? I write to you and write but you don't respond. And I think you take a bath too often because whenever I talk to x (my husband) I cannot see you. Are you offended at me? Why? Show your face sometimes because I miss you and I start forgetting how you look like, my daughter... And I don't know how to send an e-mail from my new phone and you are the best in explanations but I feel silly to ask for help because I do not know why you totally ignore me"...

Sic! By this writing and writing and ignoring her totally, she means that 10 days ago she sent me an e-mail containing a picture with me, my brother and my husband when we were children and I already have this picture - she didn't write a single word in this e-mail and afterwards my h was talking to her and told her that we got it... Is it really a reason to say that I totally ignore her and am offended at her? Now I really feel like I want to ignore this e-mail... Sorry, I just had to vent...

[healingme4me]

It's not that my dad ignores, in a way that leaves me feeling unheard, it's that I just cannot seem to sit down, and actually talk about things, heart to heart. For instance, he's sure I won't be granted permission for removal. Not that I've ever sat down and been able to say, i feel it's possible because, these cases involve xyz, certain factors must met, visitations reworked, and so on and so forth. It's not just I who has all the burden, it's my exh, too, who to argue against must meet xyz's of his own.
Come to find out, dad is going by the distant memory of when I was 13, and he tried a removal case, from another state, than where I am, with a completely different set of circumstances. Hence, just feeling like sometimes I knocking, but there's a block as to whether I'm actually being listened to.
Plus, all those years, with minimal contact, there's a certain part of me, that gets lost in translation.

Which leads me back to my ex-h. Which, I've been thinking about, in a serious reflection, of what was missing, what went wrong, types of reflection. I get people grow, become more matured versions of themselves. Yet, a marriage cannot survive, if all you do is talk about sports and the weather. Maybe, not maybe, there were some rants and raves about childhood, and here and now stuff. But there wasn't a point of valuing all that made me tick and tock. If one were to ask him, then, even now, what does she like to read? What topics really light up her mind, *chirp**chirp*.
I'm not sure, my dad could answer those questions either. That's the 'daddy resolution' in that marriage. Not fatherly figure, but the quasi tuned out approach, pattern in the relationship.
Well, that's where I am, in between these two therapy sessions. (((which, btw, if the court says no...let's go another couple years worth, to grieve, location, dreams, et Al.))))
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[DelusionsDaily]

Fantastic!!! Thank goodness!!! I love my life right now!!

[neutrino]

Worried. Anxious. I literally sit here and tell my brain (out loud) to shut up.

Besides that things have been going relatively well today.

[Mactastic]

Clingy. I saw my T last night and our session was bland because I can't relax around him. This morning I sent him an email saying I think maybe we should take a break, that I'm taking it too seriously and think about him way too much . Now I'm on edge because deep down I want him to ask me to stay.

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Boy, I had to dig to find this thread. We've been busy around here.

I'm doing pretty well these days. I had some side effect issues with a couple of meds, but I think things are straightened out now.

My husband broke his foot a few days ago. We are used to constant stress fractures although they are very painful. He's been known to have two dozen fractures at a time. This time is different though. This is a clean break which is not a good thing. His pain specialist came in after looking at the x-ray and was in tears. So was my husband. There is absolutely nothing they can do for him. They can't cast him as he will atrophy very badly and quickly. He just has to walk around on it and use his crutches as much as possible. His pain level has been a 10 on a scale of 10. He did text me this morning that he's starting to get his sense of humor back and his frame of mind in the right zone, so that is an improvement, but he's going to have a miserable few weeks or so while this break heals up. My job is to remind him that this crisis will indeed cycle through and he'll come out on the other side, but it's pretty stressful.

Chris I'll be praying for your H. I recall you saying that your H had a chronic illness but I cant remember what it is... Is it CMT?

[Espresso]

Anxious, unsettled.

[snarkydaddy]

Feel disoriented; routine change


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[leomama]

Originally Posted by snarkydaddy

Feel disoriented; routine change


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What was the change?

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[leomama]

A bit anxious about going for a run after not running since Saturday, hungry, worried about getting to painting class on time, like I have too much to do and not enough time to do it.

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[gayleggg]

Very depressed today. Not in a good place.

[always_wondering]

Its midweek between sessions. This is when I start missing T. In three days I won't miss him because I know I will be seeing him soon.

[Lamplighter]

Knocked off my perch. Got a critique of a story I wrote for a competition and it slated what I'd written - has really sent me spinning, it was so unexpected to get such a vicious criticism and it's made me ashamed of all my efforts now

On the up side though things with T are going really well - which makes a nice change. Touch wood, throw salt over shoulder, etc

Hugs to everyone here