[RTerroni]

Well my day definatley turned around once I got to the festival, feeling pretty good right now.

[Aloneandafraid]

Alone - very alone. Abandoned and afraid. I think I need to disappear for a while.

[BonnieJean]

very down. feeling like calling out from work. but i think i'd better go.

[AllyIsHopeful]

So very frustrated. I hate social anxiety. I am constantly reminded of the cliques and constant bullying and rejection in grade school. I always feel like the person who is "too quiet" but when I am asked to talk and engage, I try and I feel misunderstood, stupid, and invisible. Stupid transference...why do you have to exist!?

There have been very few instances where these thoughts have been validated here but for the most part it is just my own stuff. I don't believe I am a victim of everything, I just hate the inner conflict and how loudly it screams in my head. I don't know how to get past it and in the end I hurt myself...in the end I am alone. I miss feeling a sense of belonging and "fitting in" for once in my life but I think those days are over.

[RTerroni]

A little better but still irritated at a friend of mine.

[Aloneandafraid]

Originally Posted by AllyIsHopeful

So very frustrated. I hate social anxiety. I am constantly reminded of the cliques and constant bullying and rejection in grade school. I always feel like the person who is "too quiet" but when I am asked to talk and engage, I try and I feel misunderstood, stupid, and invisible. Stupid transference...why do you have to exist!?

There have been very few instances where these thoughts have been validated here but for the most part it is just my own stuff. I don't believe I am a victim of everything, I just hate the inner conflict and how loudly it screams in my head. I don't know how to get past it and in the end I hurt myself...in the end I am alone. I miss feeling a sense of belonging and "fitting in" for once in my life but I think those days are over.

I could have written this post. I relate to this so much. I am so sorry you feel this too.

[JustShakey]

Originally Posted by Aloneandafraid

I could have written this post. I relate to this so much. I am so sorry you feel this too.

Me too :-/

[AllyIsHopeful]

My medication is throwing me for a loop...I can't tell withdrawals from new meds symptoms and it is driving me nuts. My whole body hurts.

[RTerroni]

A little anxious about session today and annoyed at a friend of mine.

[monkeybrains21]

I feel great amazing really. I'm in such a good moo even though I know it won't last. I'm just loving it now! plus I'm really hyper gotta burn this before I get home

[RTerroni]

Very Sad since my Therapist will be leaving me in 4 weeks

[healingme4me]

Breathing. I have this biological alpha thing, that through my life, realizes happens muahahaha...

Not first place of employment, or even living...where irregularities began, of course...mums the word
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[someone321]

I don't know how... Read one post somewhere and realized that probably I know why I'm so emotionally empty... It's like being kicked and getting up, then being kicked again but with more power, getting up, getting kicked, no power to get up, so just sit, getting kicked, break, trying to stand up but then getting kicked again and again and then it doesn't matter anymore... no pain no fear, you can get up because what is the worst thing which can happen to you? That you'll get kicked again? So hard that you won't get up anymore? Is that really the worst think which can happen? That's not so bad, so why not just get up and stop worrying about getting kicked if it's obvious that it will happen again but you cannot do anything to prevent it... So I am up right now, no pain, no fear... but is it a real life?

[JustShakey]

Voiceless. Like how I feel is locked inside me and I can't get it out or even reach it.

Feeling alone. Missing YT and dont have time or energy right now to see new T. What little support I did have is distancing themselves....

[RTerroni]

The baseball game I am at right now is serving as a nice distraction.

[Britneigh]

Just downed a liter of wine...dipping into the whiskey now. I don't want to think anymore.

[blur]

considering it was 99˚ today i'm not doing too badly. hot & tired but okay.

[RTerroni]

Originally Posted by blur

considering it was 99˚ today i'm not doing too badly. hot & tired but okay.

I hate it when it's that hot.

Angry & sad. I found myself in an impossible situation and I REALLY want to tell someone off!! One of these days.....

[healingme4me]

Oddly enough, the written warning list, is on a yellow, legal NotePad. Formatted, date, who, description of offense, consequence. The punishment list will follow on a separate sheet...
Behavioral change, is end goal.
Youngest, will find himself here, just can only address one step at a time.
Devising an alternative to 'cash allowance'...reality is, cash flow can be a burden periodically...one thought of procedure is earned computer time, collective ppv evenings...has to start somewhere...must admit, since living here, never seen my oldest behave more like a man, where chores, carrying groceries, etc goes...

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[RTerroni]

Originally Posted by Cingmore

Angry & sad. I found myself in an impossible situation and I REALLY want to tell someone off!! One of these days.....

I have felt this was recently, sad that my Therapist will be leaving me in 3 weeks and angry at my friend for the way he has been acting as of recently.

[RTerroni]

So far so good for me today, but obviously the thought of my Therapist leaving me in 3 weeks is still on my mind.

[RTerroni]

The afternoon with my friend today went well so I guess a little bit better (although not terrifically good for obvious reasons).

I'm not good. Upset today & tonight. It's just so hard.