[blur]

Stressed and stuck. For the last month or two it's been one difficult household issue after another and then my computer died. Still arranging to have it worked on. Stuck in trying to do my art journaling class with all this going on.

not sure how we feel right now..maybe shutdown

like it is the end ....

[DelusionsDaily]

Emotionally drained and recovering from 2 very sudden terminations(my T and Pdoc). Been crying a lot mostly about pdoc.

[healingme4me]

I am actually, going through a befuddled in between sessions moment. In my talk therapy sessions, the last two times, he struggled to remember my bf's name? Now, it could be, because he's far from most of the discussion in therapy, and I don't really bring up my new relationship. Which, in many ways, a good thing, since it means, it's not troubling me[new relationship] and most of what I am talking about in therapy, pertains to what I am dealing with, as far as my exh and the court dates, and restraining orders, and talking about what I am pursuing, in a legal direction.

So, it's just one of those, questioning, why it is, where therapy, is concerned.

[Freewilled]

I'm feeling triggered....Therapy yesterday was so....I don't even know the word. Nightmare last night where I was yelling and screaming led into early morning fight with my husband due to me overreacting when woken from my sleep...work was hard; boss issues...upsetting, but what i think should be fairly benign, memories keep popping in my head. I'm very tired as i woke up wide awake last night at 2am only to fall back to sleep at 5am before the above mentioned incident. And I told my T my sleep was all better now

[Lamplighter]

Feeling paranoid, frightened, hurt, alone and lonely and alienated, and very scared and very threatened. And that's just one therapy session! Seriously this seems to be be my world view right now, it's really scaring me. I think I need a ton of support and I don't know how to go about setting it up. Any helpful hints?

[Yogix]

Suffocated. I'm feeling incredibly suffocated.

[growlycat]

Sick and wishing someone would go get me ginger ale and orange juice. And just be with me. I like much of my life but when I'm ill it can be lonely.

[Lexi232]

irritated.
waiting for morning meds to kick in so i get out of this fog and blah feeling

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[AnnaBegins]

Overwhelmingly lonely and alone and hopeless. A part of me is telling myself to reach out for help and a louder part is telling me how pathetic I am that I have to ask someone to act like they care about me.

[ShrinkPatient]

Feeling really overwhelmed right now. I have a lot coming up and I feel inadequate to accomplish everything I want/need to. I hope it's just a valley that will resolve itself. Thankfully, there's still a little piece of me that believes I'll make it through and everything will work out for me. I hope that little part starts growing. If only I could muster some motivation.
Feeling really glad I see My T tomorrow!!

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[DelusionsDaily]

Gaining a very little bit of peace about x-Pdoc terminating me.

[Patagonia]

Very angry Still @ my one T for triggering me & not taking any responsibility for it. I'm left in a tailspin, spiraling down into the voices & evil feelings again. I don't wanto see her alone this week. My disgust w/ her keeps growing. Now my old SI habit has kicked in. Could anything else happen over this one stupid trigger? I really hate her for it! I hate the way I feel


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[Lamplighter]

Paranoid again

have a 4 hour session today-both needing it and dreading it ♥ so apprehensive

Good luck, butterfly. I hope you will leave the session strengthened and hopeful.

thank you mastodon -it is to process all the terrible anxiety and trauma that surrounds the last day of october as our past is deeply affected by it

[DelusionsDaily]

Obsessing about my crazy-arse feelings for x-Pdoc! Yucky! I am so exhausted.

[tealBumblebee]

{Post Session Check In}

Today's session was interesting. I knew I didn't really feel like talking, but I didn't know just how much I didn't feel like talking until I got there. I was in a bit of a funky mood - not sure how to explain it. Even T didn't know how to interpret it; she asked me "what is this?" If only I knew to explain it.

Then, a question she asked that started out so simple ended up being so much more. It brought up some conflicting feelings that I just did not want to go into. I felt the tears coming and so I just stopped. I had nothing more to say.

Towards the end, she talked freely and, although I didn't verbally acknowledge it, she answered some key questions that I had... She also encouraged me to keep emailing her. She explained to me that she doesn't encourage this from all of her clients but she was able to easily spout off a pretty intense list of ways that allowing me to email her benefited me.

Finally, she addressed a last unspoken concern I had about "how permanent" our [insert whatever word you prefer to use instead of friend/relationship] is... I guess i'll just have to trust her on that one.

[Freewilled]

Restless. Irritated. Sullen. Frustrated.

Sad.

[Lamplighter]

About to go to T and feeling blank and numb as usual. Just love my defences

[Nightlight]

I feel afraid about possibly losing support that I need. I don't want to go to bed, because then I'll have to get up in the morning, and that might be it.

I'm sick of life being such a battle. I don't want things to get so much harder all over again. Things are hard enough now. I don't even know what I hang on for. Not for me I guess, just to prevent other people from suffering.

I hope there is something better out there. This can't be it.

[anna_goth27]

Hugs to you Nightlight *hugs*

I feel similarly. I feel so sick and tired of being so in pain and of feeling so angry and hateful towards myself. I feel frustrated because I seem to constantly try to reach out to all the wrong people who either could care less about my pain, people who I have hurt so they have little sympathy or people who just plain use my pain as a way for them to feel better about themselves.

Today is starting of to be a terrible daunting day.

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