[tealBumblebee]

Do any of you write letters to your T? Or thoughts during the week that you give to T? I don't verbalize nearly as easily as I type and T graciously accepts and encourages my writings to her, as she says i'm a "thinker".

I've noticed that she keeps the notes (and prints the emails) - and I kind of am getting suspicious as to why? In the beginning she'd ask if I wanted it back, I'd say no (because I'd just burn it anyway) and she'd say "Ok, i'll keep it then." When I write in the mini comp books she gives those back so I can write more in them.

There's almost always an offer to take the letter back, but the session before last I was in a particularly low place and wrote her a letter she described as having "some very intense emotions" in it. During that session she said "So...i'm going to just hold on to this..." and then I looked up (reactively because she doesn't normally use that tone) and she backtracked and offered me the chance to take it back.

I hate to imagine it's evidence to use against me (she has literally told me thats not her m.o.) but in a way, its starting to feel like that. I know I can always decide to take them back, but I have never been suspicious of her motives until this time.

Is that normal for a T? What is the benefit in holding on to stuff like that? Do they go after session and evaluate it in more detail? Compare it to past letters and thoughts? Or use it as a safe guard for evidence in case I jump off the deep end?

[SheHulk07]

This is a good question, and I'm not sure how to respond. I've written a letter to my T once because I didn't know how else to say all the stuff on my mind, and I'm pretty sure he kept it in my file. I know he keeps his notes of the session in my file and anything that we work on during the session. But I'm not sure if this is a common practice or what they do with it afterwards?

[Daeva]

It sounds to me she just wants this one, because as you admitted, it has intense feelings. Obviously she thinks it's even more important. And from what it sounds like to me she wants to examine it in more detail, or even just keep it in her notes, like a T would take notes about a session after/during. My mind didn't at all leap to her keeping it for reasons such as evidence against you.

[Victoria'smom]

What my T said was any handed note to her counts as a therapy note and is shredded the day it needs to be but any email has to go into my file. She even asked if I want them in my file once. T at the beginning asked if I wanted them back but I explained as soon as she is given it it's hers. So now she only askes if I'm particularly nervous. I would say your therapist wanted to examine the note more to help you. My T has told me she'll never use it against me because I need someone (professional) in my corner fighting for me if things go bad and I can. I would ask your T how she chooses what goes into your file.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I write my T an e-mail once a week. She always prints them out and deletes the e-mail for confidentiality reasons. I can only image the file she has on me. It's only been 2 months, and she is probably has gotten over 50 pages from me

I do know, at least for the laws in CA, that all the stuff in my file is confidential. I can request to see my file at any time. And the only time she can break confidentiality about any information she has on me is to report progress to my insurance, if she's ever subpoenaed to by the court, or if I give her written permission.

[FeelingOpaque]

I'm sure she is just holding on to them so that she can look them over and try to get a clearer picture of you, learn how to help you better. Having extensive notes and files on a client is a sign of a good T, means they're putting in the effort to learn who you are and how you think.

[jacq10]

Any contact with you via email should as a standard be printed and kept in your file, as it is no different than a conversation in person - which is documented in a progress note of the session. Letters are pretty similar. It's nothing to do with gathering evidence against you, it's the T's job, and could have legal repercussions against her if she didn't hold onto that stuff.

[Solepa]

I can relate to how you feel but I think she is just keeping the letters to do her job well and be able to look at them if she needs to. I don´t think she has any intention to harm you with it in any way.

That said .... I´m going to private T and I´m paranoid about my information. She takes few notes during our sessions and I told her I worry about all the information being writen down next to my name anywhere. I asked her if she could destroy the file when we will finish and she said we will work something out for sure. So I hope it will get shredded.
She has no legal obligation to keep file on me but she said there are etical reasons and also she needs it during the treatment which I understand.
I live in country where there is stil stigma with going to therapy and I also study to be in a profession where mental issues are "not allowed"...

I agree with Solepa - I think your T keeps the letters/email with her session notes about you, which she needs to be able to do her job (to refer back to to see your progress, for instance).

I have brought in things in writing a few times. T has usually asked me whether I want it back or if I want him to keep it. Last time I brought something in I think I stuffed the letter back into my bag after I'd read it to him. I actually feel a little hurt that he doesn't really think it's important enough to save. It's not as if his memory is that great, anyway. I have also sent him letters, a couple of times last summer while he was on holiday (I sent them to his office, of course.) He has brought them up a couple of times since so I get the feeling that he's gone back to read them again.

So there are different ways of looking at everything. But I can understand the slight paranoia about having your writing saved somewhere where you can't control what happens to it.

I'll be bringing in a letter for T tomorrow. I wonder if he's going to want to hold on to it or not...

[tealBumblebee]

Originally Posted by Mastodon

I agree with Solepa - I think your T keeps the letters/email with her session notes about you, which she needs to be able to do her job (to refer back to to see your progress, for instance).

I have brought in things in writing a few times. T has usually asked me whether I want it back or if I want him to keep it. Last time I brought something in I think I stuffed the letter back into my bag after I'd read it to him. I actually feel a little hurt that he doesn't really think it's important enough to save. It's not as if his memory is that great, anyway. I have also sent him letters, a couple of times last summer while he was on holiday (I sent them to his office, of course.) He has brought them up a couple of times since so I get the feeling that he's gone back to read them again.

So there are different ways of looking at everything. But I can understand the slight paranoia about having your writing saved somewhere where you can't control what happens to it.

I'll be bringing in a letter for T tomorrow. I wonder if he's going to want to hold on to it or not...

You have a good point there about being slightly offended of T not wanting to keep it. I never thought of it that way. Everyone's got some really good points in ways of looking at it.

[HealingTimes]

I have written a LOT to my T. She has kept almost all of the letters i have written. I think its useful for her to have, so she can look at it in greater detail and more understand things like my real feelings, my past experiences etc.
Also, i think we give more away than we realise, when we write.

I am just wondering, you say that you think your T could use it 'as evidence against you'..what do you mean? In what situation would this occur? Are you worried about any particular thing?

[tealBumblebee]

Originally Posted by HealingTimes

I have written a LOT to my T. She has kept almost all of the letters i have written. I think its useful for her to have, so she can look at it in greater detail and more understand things like my real feelings, my past experiences etc.
Also, i think we give more away than we realise, when we write.

I am just wondering, you say that you think your T could use it 'as evidence against you'..what do you mean? In what situation would this occur? Are you worried about any particular thing?

One of my biggest fears is her forcing me (against my will) into a psych ward. I tend to sometimes go off the deep end (at least in my mind) but I always know how to reel it back in, I just need the time and space to do so. I've learned over the years how to manage myself appropriately (she has actually said how impressed she is at my self taught techniques throughout life). But still, for people who don't know me well - the things I say and think can sometimes scare them. I have had so many misunderstandings or overreactions because of my writing (parents, school teachers, counselors, etc.) that I actually burned all of my letters and journals and stopped writing for many years and have just started back. So I guess i'm still a bit paranoid.

[Victoria'smom]

I tend to sometimes go off the deep end (at least in my mind) but I always know how to reel it back in, I just need the time and space to do so. I've learned over the years how to manage myself appropriately (she has actually said how impressed she is at my self taught techniques throughout life). But still, for people who don't know me well - the things I say and think can sometimes scare them.

I do this too. T said that she needs to know these things so that she can be on my side if anything happens. She's seen me in "scary spots" and I've always somehow claw my way back. I've scared her, concerned her and I have yet to be committed. We had a long talk about why I haven't been committed. The conclusion is I've been dealing with these things so long by myself that she has to trust that I'll reach out when I can/ if I need to and at the very least I'm getting those thoughts out.

[stopdog]

I have always assumed if I write something to a therapist, it may get put in a file.

[feralkittymom]

In most states in the US, there is a legal requirement to both keep secured records and to destroy such records after a determined date post treatment. I really don't think most Ts consider those records as evidence to use against clients. Most I have known prefer to put only the barest minimum of info into progress notes in order to protect client confidentiality. At the same time, they do need to protect themselves legally by noting any comments which might indicate a potential danger to a client or others, and by noting any response or intervention they have performed. Their notes in many cases can serve as evidence of their rationale for not recommending the hospitalization of a client. So the notes can protect you.

I think in my state, the regulation was that notes be kept for 10 years after treatment ends, or the retirement of the T. At that point, they must be destroyed and proof provided. My T retired, and we talked about records; he had an arrangement with a professional shredding company to destroy records at the appropriate time, and had arranged for secured custody of the records until that time.