What do you do with your "stuff" when you leave the T room?

If it's been an ok session I leave better than I arrived, sometimes quite smiley and with extra confidence. If it's gone badly or we've been talking about difficult things, she helps me to calm down, though I often start crying again when I get to my car. I am so glad I don't have to go on public transport. I try not to arrange anything for after T so I have some time to process, but it doesn't always work that way (tomorrow I have T then physiotherapy!). I used to see a Pdoc at the hospital. It seemed like every appointment she would question me until I was crying uncontrollably then throw me out. I would have to walk through a load of people as her office was near reception. I would have to go and sit on the floor in the loo till I could get myself together. I am so glad I don't see her anymore!

It depends. I always make sure I'm through with crying if crying occurred in the session because I have to go out in public and walk to/wait for the bus since I don't drive...but as for putting on a face for T? Never. I don't see a point in doing that. I'm glad that I have a good few blocks to walk that there are never people on, so if I need to cry after I leave, I do it then.

Thanks for all the responses! I leave contained every.single.time. No matter what. And I sometimes wonder how it appears to my T - like if he thinks I'm not being "real" with him or something. Idk. Like last week, I was really angry at him and we worked on that for the whole session...and then when it was time to go, it's like I snapped back into place. I always put a smile on and shake his hand and calmly walk out the door. I don't feel that way, but seems like I automatically put myself back together. Once in my car, I often cry or whatever I need to do to process it.

These responses helped me to see I'm not the only one so maybe it's the norm (?)

I'm also conflicted though, as I fear not being able to contain it at some point.....I'm holding back A LOT and worry if it comes out with my T, will I be able to pack it up and leave ok? I do worry about that and wonder if it is interfering with my therapy

Reading all your responses, I see that it's quite common to cry in sessions. I've only really cried (in session) maybe twice in two years. I have gotten close to crying several times but I hate to show weakness so I put a lot of effort in holding them back.
I do cry afterwards sometimes. I walk out of the office as if I'm put together. Sometimes I get in my car and put my head down on the steering wheel and just cry. When I get home, I usually analyze the session in my journal. I include all the feelings before, after, and during my session. It helps a lot. Sometimes I'll email that journal entry to my T.
The thing that helps the most is when she pulls me in for a hug after session. But when I leave, I automatically start missing her. I automatically start processing. If she doesn't hug me, my first thought question why and what I did wrong.
I'm usually not much good the rest of the day. It's tough.

are you suppose ti feel bad after a session or there a big problem here ,i just don't want to feel bad after a session. what are we all doing wrong ,i wish i could find out ,it isn't seeming to be getting better for a lot of uus it would be so awesome if doc john could give is a bit of insight here

Good idea!

From talk therapy, I tend to walk out, feeling like I've just had a thought provoking conversation. Because, I realize about myself, it can take a day or two, for each session to sink in.
I'll not soon forget the day I had talk therapy and a pdoc appointment with an hour in between. I was exhausted, by virtue of both were 'heavy' appointments.
Maybe, off track here, maybe not; When I first began seeing my pdoc, I could see his previous patient, making her next appointment. I tend, to look, that way, in that office, as indicative of whether I'm about to be called in next. She was smiling, seemed happy, genuinely happy/content. I felt, at that point in my life, this is a good place for me, to be, right now. Hopeful, I good get to that place, too. I was, on the fence, about meds, knew it wasn't necessarily meds for that patients seeming contentment, but it alleviated a lot of fear I had.

I cannot say I'm always smiling coming out of therapy. Sometimes, in thought, mulling things over. Usually, smiling, after both, talk therapy or psychiatry, because I've regained my joie de vie.

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My personal T does his best to contain me and my emotions before leaving the session. Doesn't always work, but the people in the waiting room would never know I've just left a therapy appt. I always leave with a smile on my face no matter what the session was like. Once I'm in my car, that's when I'll let my real emotions come out on the way home. If I need to sit there and cry, I'll do that. If I need to blast my music and scream, I'll do that too. Once home, the smile is back on until I'm able to be alone again. I always write in my journal to process my session as well.

With my eating disorder T, I cry in session- every single time. I get a ride to these sessions, so the smile is on my face within a foot outside her door. Whoever gives me a ride would have no idea what kind of session I just had. Again, the smile stays on my face until I'm alone and can write in my journal to process the session. These are the hardest days for me. Can never quite process them the way I would like to.

I don't really contain my emotions after my sessions, I've perfected hiding them. Drives my Ts crazy.

I don't see any relationship between doing therapy rightly or wrongly and how one feels after the session. I do think endings are significant. It may seem like just one appointment to be followed by others; yet even such a temporary ending can be experienced deeply as a loss. Loss of what? A connection, caring, safety, hope, self, belonging, trust, a personal presence, sanity--the list could be infinite.

I think the emotions unleashed during a session understandably can't always be resolved or contained afterwards. At the same time, sometimes those emotions express themselves in an opposite way: happiness can trigger sadness, and sadness can produce relief.

I suspect that those who can regularly put on an appearance of composure like a jacket, are tapping into a protective minimizing of the experience. We all do this to some extent-- we learn to do it growing up, or we are forced by circumstances to do it. But it is a social construct, and one thing I think about is how at odds it may be with the authenticity of the emotional work within the therapy hour.

Whew! Glad to know I'm not the only one who can't pull myself together after
a session. I usually go to my car and sit there for a time letting it all out. Sometimes I'll drive a few blocks away and park to gain composure. It's the worst. Is this actually helping us?

@FeralKittyMom

Some styles of therapy are definitely gentler than others. Also, it is easier to take if you are not so attached to T.

I think I slowly got used to feeling churned up and disorientated after sessions, and then in turn started to allow the pain/upset/discomfort to come into my consciousness at other points in between sessions to. I turn to my T. Having her 'there' is keeping me right throughout this period of my life. It's like climbing a mountain in deep snow in the dark. It's bloody challenging and easier if one is not alone, but holding hands with somebody else over difficult, dangerous terrain.

If I'm visibly upset, T usually asks if I'm okay to drive and has offered to let me sit in an unused office. I have never taken her up on that, I just promise that I will sit in my car in the parking lot until I feel like I'm okay to drive. Once I'm present enough to drive, I usually spend the drive back to either the office or home thinking about things and switching gears. If I can't seem to shake off the things that were talked about, then I will either email T or write in my journal. Sometimes, if it's nice outside, I'll just sit in the sun for a few minutes and let myself relax before continuing on with my day.

I walk around the block to clear my head I find this helps, T always asks me if I am okay before leaving.

Definitely. But I don't think the approach need be connected to how one feels after a session. That seems to be putting the responsibility for how we feel onto the T. Assuming a competent T, I'm not sure attachment necessarily influences it much either, though I can see that if one has a secure attachment, it can make the feelings a bit easier to bear. If it's an insecure or negative attachment, then all bets are off.

My T was extremely low key and gentle in his approach, yet there were times my emotions left me a wreck; I think it's just the nature of the beast.