What good is journaling, anyway?

I used to journal, before internet and email were around, but I've forgotten what good it is. Even though my T doesn't respond to my emails, I like knowing that she reads them. She told me that I'm the only one with me 24/7 so she wants me to try journaling--for myself. It's okay to bring it to my sessions, and it's still okay to email if I really can't help it, but she asked me to try.

I like to write, so it's not that. But what am I going to get out of emailing ABOUT her and not TO her? It will be the same stuff, just not sent to her.

Sometimes with my journaling I'll write out my issues and feelings but other stuff will come out too, like subconsciously, and it helps me a whole lot. Like I'll feel something becauyse of a certain situation so I'll write it and then go 'oh this reminds me of when I was a kid when my mother..' and write that. It also just helps me express my feelings, and sometimes I write third-person narratives to calm me down in my journal.

I kinda journal. I have a table at the top with my food chart. Then a paragraph about the day and what happened and how I felt that day. I also put notes to how I felt or didn't say in therapy. I give it to T when I'm in the area or at my session she picks what the most important ones to start with and then we move on. It helps her know what is going on with me. The important Things I forget and the things I won't say. My son therapist liked the idea so much that my son also does it.

You could do art work in your journal to represent a feeling or a theme, or unconscious streaming which is basically writing everything that comes into your head, not filtering it or even putting it into sentences, don't check the grammar or spelling, you write totally freely and see what comes up. Look up journalling and see all the ideas out there.

I love my journals! I don't have the email thing with T, so my journal became like a letter/diary to T. If you've read the book Anne Frank, my journal is kinda like that, only instead of "Dear Kitty" it's "Dear T." It really helps me keep from drowning in my own thoughts.

I've always kept diaries since I was a kid. One was Puppy, so I'd write "Dear Puppy". My former T thought journaling would NOT be good for me, because it keeps me in my own world, in my head. I'm surprised my current T doesn't agree, but I know she thinks it's better for me than emailing her.

But, what if my thoughts and feelings are all about her, and how I'm going to miss her, and how I wish I could be in her life, and all of that? If I write all of that, over and over, it WILL seem like I'm drowning in my thoughts, won't it?

I dunno.... if that is the case, it at least will bring good food for thought? I know that for me, it's been interesting how things will come up in therapy, and T will actually encourage me to go back and look in my journals and see how I handled a similiar situation before. For example, a few weeks ago, I had an "ah-ha" about a pattern I seem to have. T pointed out that we've discussed it many times, and encouraged me to go back and see how we dealt with it the last few times it came up. T was right, we definitely have delved into it before, and it was very interesting reading my reactions to past experiences with it, too.

I love journaling it really calms me. Like after writing this I'm going to journal. As I write about my day, how I'm feeling and what I'm learning and looking forward to. I love the holidays as I get to see my family and get new stuff. I'm so excited for Christmas breakfast cinnamon rolls, eggs and bacon yummy. So yeah journaling can be healing.

My journals were a godsend for me after my too-many ECT's that robbed me of my long-term memory. I've been journaling since I was a teen (in my 50's now), and it's become a way of life and helped me through my roughest times while in hospital during the bad depression years. It's really cathartic and also helped w.hen I began constructing my blog.

its a good sounding board for me, helps me understand myself, and be better able to articulate mmy feelings in T.


ngsf

With the emailing about her, you can make it more personal to you, tell yourself how you really feel, etc.? "I wish T would answer my email. . ." and then keep going on the same subject which gets to be more and more about you and less about T; you ask "why" (do I wish this) and it gets to be like when we were little kids and asked "why?" at the end of everything but because one isn't paying close attention, just going along, answering the question(s), weird thoughts and ideas can spring out and surprise and help us from inside ourselves.

Rain I don't do a lot of journaling but when I journal it proves very useful for sorting my thoughts and feelings. If I do a thorough job of writing down my thoughts and feelings it gives a very clear picture of what is going on inside of me. In seeing that clearer picture I am better able to determine a course of action if one is needed. You may find it useful in other ways the only way to know if it will be useful to you is to try it.

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I wish I could journal. I'm always worried someone will read it though, either on purpose or by accident.

I tried blogging, but I just kept saying the same stuff over and over again. Any other ideas?

I don't think you'll drown in your thoughts, you'll come out of it, and through your feelings. You can feel the grief during the writing process and express it. You don't need a therapist listening to be able to do all the work. Indeed, after doing so much therapy, you know many tools/techniques about being your own therapist, whether you're much aware of them or not. Journaling can help you take care of yourself using that awareness. Then, once you've worked through, you will have perhaps, a clearer sense of what you'd like your therapist's help with if necessary, and be able to bring her up to speed with where you are in the moment, succinctly, so instead of focusing, perhaps, more on how you feel, you can focus on working to improve the situation.

I write letters to my T every night. She used to read them all, but now she doesn't always have the time.

I was writing to her last night telling her how sorry I am for contacting her via email to ask a question. I was thinking she must be mad at me because she hadn't responded. In this letter, I started defending myself to her. I was telling her if only she knew all the times I wanted to contact her but didn't, maybe then she'd be proud. If she knew all of the cuts I wanted to make but didn't, maybe then she'd be proud. If she knew all of the breaths I took even though I didn't want to live, maybe then she'd be proud of me.

And then it hit me. I was talking to myself. I was trying to convince myself that I deserved to be proud of myself. My T was literally not involved in that conversation. She did nothing to make me believe she was upset or to say she thought I wasn't doing a good job. I was saying that. I was the one who wasn't giving myself enough credit and discrediting all of the good things I did just because I might have reached out when I shouldn't have.

So journaling is hard, but it has its perks. I address all of my entries to my T even if I know she can't possibly read it all. Sometimes I'll tab the important stuff and have her read excerpts.