frustrated - change the T or not...?

Ech, I'm not sure what I should do... I've already had 6 sessions with my T from which I've learned that I like the therapy but I hate my T (and I really doubt that it is the transference, it's rather his lack of empathy)... Thus, I thought that maybe his style is just not for me so I read and read and I discovered that instead of "talking to the wall" style, I should try emdr... Tomorrow I was going to tell my T that I want to quit (this session already scares me a lot) and at the same time I started looking for a new T... First one said that he does not have the capacity to take any new client but he recommended me some webpages to search for another one... Unfortunately I've found only three Ts in my city who work with emdr and who can speak English... One said that for next 6 months cannot take any new client, second did not reply at all and third one said that actually her English is not good enough (so why has she put also English as the therapy language?)... So now I'm lost - I don't want to work with my T anymore, I don't think that I would be able to trust him again but if I resign I won't have a T at all... Life...

Do you maybe have any suggestion? Is it better to have the annoying T or no T at all?

What is it about emdr that interests you?

You could talk to your T and ask for a referral. You can talk to him about EMDR and whether he thinks it would be useful for you. Or, you could look for a new T who doesn't do EMDR. I also wonder why you are specifically looking for a T who does EMDR. I've done it, and it can be successful, but there are many other kinds of therapy that can help, too. You can find a T who is not like "talking to the wall"; there are many!!

I don't think you should stay with a T whose methods you don't like.

I don't know, I only heard that it is a trauma-focused therapy and that's what the T who recommended me some links has suggested to me... I only know that I am not the biggest fan of my current T whose approach assumes that I should not think about sessions in between, who doesn't give me any tasks/homework/goals, who wants to focus on my dreams rather than on this what I'm saying, who wants to stay anonymous/neutral (however, he struggles with not judging people) and who doesn't want to diagnose me because "labels are useless". I've read that trauma-focused therapy works differently that's why I thought that if I decided to try once more I should try a completely different approach... Or maybe you know different styles of trauma-therapies than emdr?

What about skype type long distance therapy?

I think I would enjoy it if I wasn't totally scared about calling, I could write e-mails and I would love it but calling just freaks me out. I guess that I think that when I see someone and I see all his/her movements (I mean body language) I imagine that I can see what this person thinks/wants - I know that it is not true but already many people have told me that I have too much empathy and I do things immediately after people start thinking about it, it's like I feel what others feel but I'm afraid that via skype I wouldn't feel it and probably that's why I hate calling as well - I know it's stupid and not very realistic...

Do you maybe know what kind of therapy is this one which give you the diagnosis, requires some homework, where T teaches you how to deal with emotions, in which T cares, in which you can reach your T during emergencies (I mean call or send and e-mail between sessions) and in which T has some empathy? Because maybe I do not need the emdr but just a different type of therapy than the current one...

Therapists are all individual as to whether they allow in-between session contact, but overall, for you, I'd recommend a psycho-dynamic therapist (they're oriented toward building a caring therapeutic relationship) who also offers/uses CBT or DBT which are homework-oriented, skill-building methodologies. When you call to screen them, just ask their policy about out-of-session contact and anything else you want to know.

EMDR is a very focused, process-oriented method usually used after a while of establishing the relationship and confirming the client is in a stable place, ready to do specifically intensive trauma-reliving work. I've heard it's popular and know some folks who use it, but it's not particularly relationship oriented.

You also need to ask why he is like that? My T was like that until she got to know what I would respond to and what would make me regress.

I also thought that DBT might interest you. Full DBT does address handling emotions and requires Ts to be available by phone in crises. However, DBT might not necessarily have enough relationship with a T for you. You do have an individual T but there is a specific order of priority for discussion of issues in each session. I presume that this is one reason why Leah mentioned psychodynamic as well.

Thank you for your responses... On one hand I feel like DBT might be a better approach for me but on the other hand I really like talking... Pity that in my city there is no T who does both (and I'm in the second biggest city in the country) - I have an impression that Europe is really behind the US with respect to therapies...

But... I had a session today and I think I'll stick to my T for a bit more before I decide to sth. It was the best session till now, probably because we were arguing almost the whole time, and I made him angry few times - angry=feeling=caring, right? He did not yell at me but he raised his voice quite much he also said "could you please, before you say something, think?!" I guess I am crazy but I really liked making him angry (in general he asks me to not think before I talk)... Pretty cool session...