[Freewilled]

I'm struggling right now to keep myself grounded....really having a hard time trusting in general and that is seeping into my relationship with my T Do you ever worry that maybe your T doesn't believe you (in general)? Like maybe they see you through a filter so that everything you say is filtered into that belief about you? I don't think I'm being clear so please forgive me. I'm really struggling.....I worry my T sees me as so messed up that anything I say he might be taking with a grain of salt. I worry he doesn't even believe what I share is real. I feel so alone. I tried to share all of this with him (nicely) and he answered everything just right because he really is a caring T, but I can't shake this fear. Please help me....

[Leah123]

I have struggled with such fears, particularly with my psychoanalyst many years ago. Part of my trauma actually related to not being believed originally, so that fear does haunt me sometimes. However, my therapist has been warm and affirming throughout our time together. She clearly believes me, logically and emotionally. I think that's invaluable, and can only encourage you to speak to your therapist and hopefully confirm it again until it sinks in. I have been learning.... it is okay for me to need reassurance, okay to ask the same question more than once. I wouldn't do that at work or other relationships really, but I make an exception in therapy.

Keep in mind though... while it is important to have faith in your perceptions, don't worry too much about those grains of salt- it is only human that many things affect our perceptions, don't expect anyone, including yourself to be 100% objective. You'll see things differently if you're tired, hungry, angry, sick, stressed, anxious etc. Consider witnesses to car accidents, who often "recall" different colors or models of cars..... perfect perception isn't everything, but you and your therapist can hopefully trust your perceptions and feelings at the fundamental level. What really matters is how you feel and act.

[stopdog]

I don't think she listens more than not believes. She never believes how horrible I find therapy appointments and blew me off when I have tried to tell her. The second therapist listened to me and with her at least, the anxiety went down.

[A Red Panda]

Oh, my T believes me. The only thing he has a hard time accepting is that I am NOT changing my boundaries with my family as I worked hard to get them where I was comfortable! But I think he's starting to figure that out.

[SillyKitty]

I'm starting care with a new psychiatrist because of this. My pa-c either doesn't believe me or doesn't really care. I've asked to read my file because I don't trust her, so we'll see if she'll agree.

[HazelGirl]

My T definitely believes me. I have no reason to think she doesn't.

[RTerroni]

Yes I do

[Cherubbs]

No! Heaps of times he pulls me up on contradicting myself, not events but feelings about them. It seems to annoy him a lot, but I tend to experience things from different angles so I genuinely feel different about things depending on the day. I also consider myself to be heinously ugly from the outside and a vile person inside although logically I know it's not true that's my own inner experience. He says things like "I just have a hard time accepting that someone as attractive as you could feel like that, it not that I haven't seen this before but with looks like yours it's hard to grasp". That just makes me feel like a complete moron, like I'm compliment hunting or something I hate that kind of response. He has shouted at me in the past for saying I'm disgusting. 'You don't mean that' but yes doc, yes I do. The worst though is the things I'm supposedly not telling him, he thought I had blocked memories / denial or good old fashioned just not telling him of a certain theory he holds about me. No, nay, never- didn't happen, sorry to disappoint you again.
It may sound odd that I think he's the best T ever, at least for me for me but I like that he challenges what I'm feeling/thinking that too helps a lot, on the whole.

[CantExplain]

I have had several therapists, and I think they all believed me. When they listened.

[feralkittymom]

I think we have to enlarge the meaning of "believe." The tendency is that believe=accuracy of what we say and acceptance of what we say. But I think they're very different intents.

I know my T has always accepted what I said. He did not always believe in the accuracy of what I said.

When I first sought out my T, I presented with a delusion. It was extremely real emotionally, based in real actions with demonstrated effects, but the core belief was not objectively accurate.

The emotional belief persisted for several months. Then came a day when I started having doubts about its objective truth. My T allowed my doubts to play out until I reached the conclusion that my belief was, in fact, not real. He admitted then that he'd wondered when I would realize this, as he had far earlier. But he never confronted me because he knew that the delusion was a defense--against what we didn't know yet. I was horrified that I could have been so confused. I cried and told him that I wasn't lying to him for all those months. His face softened, and he quietly said, "FKM, I never thought you were."

I feel scared sometimes by just how much T does believe me.
I said something once about how I feel she believes something I'm making up.
T said maybe in the physical world, but here we deal with your internal world.
She believes the internal worlds expressions, that may not be actual physical realities.

My T most definitely believes me. I've never thought for a minute that he doesn't.

[granite1]

I think I know what you are saying. especially about the acceptance of what you are saying V believing being very different. like last week she said something like "it's amazing that I didn't go completely crazy" it left me wondering about how much of my past she believes or how much it is real. although I was committed to a hosp and residential treatment for most of my young adult life so not so sure I didn't go crazy. I wonder for me it it more me being willing to accept and believe my reality. and I might project that on to her quite a bit when she tries to talk to me about it

[Freewilled]

Originally Posted by granite1

I think I know what you are saying. especially about the acceptance of what you are saying V believing being very different. like last week she said something like "it's amazing that I didn't go completely crazy" it left me wondering about how much of my past she believes or how much it is real. although I was committed to a hosp and residential treatment for most of my young adult life so not so sure I didn't go crazy. I wonder for me it it more me being willing to accept and believe my reality. and I might project that on to her quite a bit when she tries to talk to me about it

I may be projecting....I know I am, in part, because I'm struggling to believe myself right now. I just think if I'm mentally ill, how do I know what little I do remember from my childhood is even true? And why can't I remember a lot? Why do I blank out during sessions? Am I just losing my mind? And my T is sitting there watching me lose it and breaking it down to medical jargon or "clinicalizing" it..... I don't know. And I find it difficult to be open to talking about the fuzzy memories I do hold or that come to mind during sessions because I DO NOT want to speculate. My mom went to therapy for years when I was a kid and the entire experience was scary. She had lots of horrific memories come back. I think I have a phobia about it happening to me and I also worry things like, "what if the stuff my mom thought wasn't true at all and they were false memories?" - all that needless suffering I can't think like this though or it gets too bad. So I have to force myself to hang onto what I can and those around me. Hope they're safe people /:

[Ambra]

It's an uncomfortable place to be.. I was told once that a T doesn't really see a reason why they shouldn't believe us as we are there to "heal" and it's all in our interest.. And since I keep bringing up the same issue to my T, she also told me she sees I'm not lying from many other things in me that seem to speak for me (like body language?) and if she'll ever suspect I'm not able to be honest she'll help me sort things out and discuss it. Sorry this was no suggestion, but since I often experience the same thing I thought it might be useful for you to hear the feedback..? Hope this helped a little bit.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[AmysJourney]

I am actually amazed that my therapist believes me! My story is horrible and in many ways rather unique because until the wall came down I lived in East Germany and things that happened to me were never really reported.
So many things that would raise eyebrows in West Germany just were ignored in the East part.
I have been living in horror and torture for most of my young and adolescent life and it is hard for people to believe my story and especially to believe that no one did anything to stop it.
I didn't tell people for a very long time what was happening to me because I was conditioned that I was either not believed or that people don't care.

But my therapist believes me. Completely and without any doubt. Even when certain memories that I have are somehow inaccurate, because they may be mixed with other memories at other times, it doesn't take away the fact.

What helped me the most with this issue is something I have said here before. The question is never what people believe or how many believe it. The question is always: What is the truth?
When I keep that in mind, I can stay true to myself, my story and it helps me to fight the fear that someone might not believe me. Because it wouldn't change one bit of fact. I came into my therapy with this certainty and if she wouldn't have believed me, well then I would have found another one who does. It is my story, my truth and I don't deserve to be afraid whether someone I ask for help believes me or not.

[granite1]

Originally Posted by Freewilled

I may be projecting....I know I am, in part, because I'm struggling to believe myself right now. I just think if I'm mentally ill, how do I know what little I do remember from my childhood is even true? And why can't I remember a lot? Why do I blank out during sessions? Am I just losing my mind? And my T is sitting there watching me lose it and breaking it down to medical jargon or "clinicalizing" it..... I don't know. And I find it difficult to be open to talking about the fuzzy memories I do hold or that come to mind during sessions because I DO NOT want to speculate. My mom went to therapy for years when I was a kid and the entire experience was scary. She had lots of horrific memories come back. I think I have a phobia about it happening to me and I also worry things like, "what if the stuff my mom thought wasn't true at all and they were false memories?" - all that needless suffering I can't think like this though or it gets too bad. So I have to force myself to hang onto what I can and those around me. Hope they're safe people /:

(hugs) when I questioned my memories and behavior .and feared she was not believing me she said "when things are ok kids act ok " in the end something was amiss. things were not ok and this is the hard work.to be able to work with your T to put together your story. I have memories of never wanting to talk in school. of hating teachers and all the kids. I remember just walking around the playground and never engaging in any activities etc... just keeping to myself. I have recently found evidence that tells a different story. when I was younger it seems I was very hyper in school and talked a lot . what I remember happened later in school after the mother dealt with the situation. I had not remembered that part of me being in school .
memories are a funny thing. one thing I am doing that seems to help in figuring out my story is to make a time line using concrete things in my life as a reference. it is not an easy project and slow going but it is helpful in remembering. and I think T seem to believe in our history more then we do at times .

[stopdog]

The woman has said a couple of times that she does not believe how much anxiety I feel over seeing a therapist. I have responded that her belief in something is not what makes it true or not. She has quit commenting on it and I have quit trying to tell her about it. I see another therapist for that and it has helped some to tell someone who does believe me.

I am really grateful because i know my t believes me.

I don't know.

I feel like a lot of what I tell T is so out there, I really worry about being believed.

On the flip side, a lot of what I've told T is so embarrassing and humiliating, I think he must know that nobody would make this stuff up!

[ScarletPimpernel]

My T believes me 100%. I've given her no reason to doubt me. I have proven myself over and over again to her anyways with actual proof.

I also believe my T 100%. She has proven herself over and over again. We have both made mistakes, but we show through actions to each other that they were actual mistakes.

My T did not believe me even though I gave her no reason to doubt me. However, I think she may believe me now (a little late).