Therapy doesn't heal, just make you obsessed

You did not abuse him. He is the person in position of power. He is the responsible one. I could punch him in the face for the terrible way he has handled your therapy. I know that's really painful to see. It makes you feel like you have some sort of control and power in the relationship when you blame yourself, but this is not your fault. You did not have the power. The only power you have now is to leave, as soon as you can. And then please, even though this has been overwhelmingly painful, find a T who knows what the hell they're doing and tell them and let them help you.

This almost reminds me of Stockholm syndrome. I realize this is a little extreme but on the same lines where the victim feels sympathy for the abuser. I am not sure the rules where you are from but in the USA a therapist would lose their license if reported of this and found guilty.

You can't have a relationship with anybody without ever feeling impacted by it. Doesn't really matter whether this relationship is with a therapist or any other person, it is just the nature of relationships.

Resource for anyone exploited in therapy:
TELL: Therapy Exploitation Link Line

Specific to sexual exploitation
Surviving Therapist Abuse ? Resources and Support for Healing
Lynette's Law for Maryland

All sites have relevant reading.

Thank you all for your carring and helping.
But I can surely say he never abused me. Sad, I would love to be abused by him.

You don't know me, you don't know how annoying, suicidal, impulsive and crazy I am.

I hate myself for so many posts here.

Yes, it's not the best analogy comparing a dentist to a therapist, but the point is, both should act in a professional manner. He's not ( your T) and you need to understand that.

Melania, the fact that you feel so guilty about talking about it shows that he is abusing you. It might be accidental on his part, but at the least, I would call him stupid and clumsy with how he's handled things with you. Definitely not someone I would want in charge of my mental health.

Just because you are a difficult client doesn't give him the right to treat you in the way he has. You are worth more than that, even if you can't see it yourself.

You can want to be abused by him. You can want a relationship with him. You can want whatever you want, and you can try to get it.

That doesn't mean you have the power to make him act the way he has chosen to act. That doesn't mean he is out of control of his words and behaviors. His behavior is separate from your behavior. Being suicidal, annoying, impulsive, crazy, and even flirtatious and seductive does not obligate him to violate ethical standards. If anything, that should help him realize how detrimental it would be to you to cross the lines that you say he has.

Melania, if you nose around the sites in my post #54, there are links to several books about sex in therapy. Though you describe a relationship that stopped short of sex, it sounds eroticized.

One author, Susan Penfold, was a therapist herself who got pulled into a sexual relationship. Another writer was the wife of a psych professional. Everyone describes the experience as extremely layered, contradictory and confusing.
TELL: Therapy Exploitation Link Line

Whether you want to do anything now, I dearly urge you go to information about what's happening, through correspondence with therapyabuse.org/, through reading. The conflicts and confusion you describe is shared by others. Truly.

You're not to blame, no matter who you are and what you did. (And I could never learn a foreign language as well as your excellent English.)

Well, maybe it's pointless to go back to the first post--considering the OP's awful situation (run like hell, Meliana!)--but I wanted to partially agree that I have found it very surprising to read this forum and see how many people talk about hugging, holding hands, "love" (romantic and otherwise) or friendship with their therapist... I've only been seeing my guy for a couple months but I really don't see my relationship to him as close or personal at all. He's a nice quiet person. He asks good questions. That's all I want.

Stop it! Can you not hear the truth? It is HIM not you. Please. Enough with the self-blame.

Your therapist is very wrong. That is the absolute truth. It is a fact. No more going on about how it is you. Please. Stop.

And stop hating yourself. You are very sweet and kind.

Listen to the advise

Well I should admit that I'm very lucky to be married to a wonderful guy. I very much love my spouse, and can't/won't cheat on him either way, so that makes it a bit easier. That being said it's still very sad, and frustrating, and engrossing in an obsessional sort of way.

The part that feels the most heartbreaking is definitely that part where he cant fill the role I want him to, and I want to say that's just sleeping with me, but it's also that he cant be more to me, like a live in house guest, LOL. I like talking to him/having him around so it's greater than just physical attraction of course... Why wouldn't I feel this way, I mean I'm basically paying the guy to show me love and I picked one that I really liked off the bat

Don't worry, you'll get over him, promise. It kind of peaks and then just starts to fade away as you focus in on therapy, life is 'always' like that. I say this as I still love my T, and very much still, want to sleep with him at times just not so much it makes me crazy at the moment. In my 4 decades I've seen enough to know that change is the only thing you can rely on.