Couch 75

tametc · Jun 06, 2014, 09:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

MKAC - I am sorry he hurt you. And, for what it is worth, I don't see you as unloveable or not capable of being special to some others.

Same here.

tametc · Jun 06, 2014, 09:53 PM

Well, Operation Bail Out did not succeed. My bank allowed me to deposit J's check, but is putting a hold on the funds until the 17th. The teller explained that even if she called J's bank and talked to the banker, there was no guarantee that the funds would still be available by the time my bank honored the check. I understand that. So I guess he'll have to stay there for now. Hopefully just the fact that he knows I'm working on this will help him to hang in there for now.

The bail amount is $20,000. The officer at the desk in the jail advised me to get the biggest bills I can when I get the cash, because I have to feed the bills one by one into an ATM at the jail. The bank told me the biggest bills they can give me will be hundred dollar bills, because those are the largest bills in circulation at this time. This means that when I do go to the jail on the 17th, I will have to feed the machine 200 one hundred dollar bills. Holy crap! I'm going to time how long it takes, and I'll let you guys know, just so you have a fun little trivia fact. Jeez, with my MS issues, I might have to take a pee break halfway through. Or touch up my roots.

tametc · Jun 06, 2014, 10:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hankster

Tametc, set up a password on your machine? Good luck.

Thanks for the suggestion, but I'm not going to be his hall monitor. I will tell him upfront that if he does anything in my home that would cause his bond to be revoked, I will gladly report him. He needs to grow up and be a responsible adult, and respect me and our friendship enough to be trustworthy.

There was a woman at the jail today with her young son, and she was explaining to him that it was where big boys go for time-out. He got pretty wide-eyed at the thought that there were actually people strong enough to put his dad in time-out.

He was very well-behaved after that.

growlycat · Jun 06, 2014, 10:12 PM

20k!! wow, tametc. I can only imagine what he has done.

I would be VERY leery of keeping your electronic devices unprotected. Especially, if said friend is a sexual offender. You don't want to get in trouble for something friend has downloaded. Worried for you! Stay strong!! Iron boundaries with pit bulls at the gates!

tametc · Jun 06, 2014, 10:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CantExplain

And take the modem with you when you leave the house.

The modem is built-in.

I told my homecare worker about my day, and when I told her the boundaries I was going to set with J, she said, "I was going to ask you what happened. I think you grew a pair of balls." I laughed, and said I already had a pair before, but they just got bigger. I told her by the time this situation was over, I might have to buy new underwear just to umm, "accommodate" the size increase.

granite1 · Jun 06, 2014, 10:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by My kids are cool

I did email him and let him know that if he wanted to say something in response to anything in my email, and he thought it would actually be helpful [as opposed to the extremely unhelpful things he has been saying in session], then he was welcome to call me because I know he does not like email as a form of communication. If not, please don't call. So then he called me to say that I was right and that he really didn't have anything helpful to say and he should not call. Which actually made me laugh out loud. However, we did end up talking about what I see as inconsistencies and he basically said I misunderstood everything he said. So. I do not see how "I love you" can NOT be inconsistent with 'just a client' and that I am not special to him. But whatever. I lost sight of the fact that he is paid to care about me and that I am not the type of person to become special to others. I did not listen to you when you repeatedly warned about how wily and tricky Ts are. So I really just brought this on myself.

I am really REALLY pissed off at myself more than anything else. Quite literally from the time I was in the CRADLE, it has been pounded into me that I am not special, I do not inspire nurturing responses in others, and I am not particularly loveable. I do not know why I cannot learn this lesson and keep ****ing HOPING for something different. I ****ing hate hope. It needs to die.

I was thinking that I would delete parts of this after a little while because the conversation is unique enough that he would recognize it and be able to read other things I have written about him and that would be even more humiliating, but then I realized there is no way he cares enough to even look.

MKAC with all do respect .this is BS .you are loveable and also special . in I love you a lot . when I feel my most unlikeable you are always there. I can nor believe your xt is behaving in such a manner . even if you did misunderstand everything he has said . you are worth while and very loveable .

tametc · Jun 06, 2014, 10:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by growlycat

20k!! wow, tametc. I can only imagine what he has done.

I would be VERY leery of keeping your electronic devices unprotected. Especially, if said friend is a sexual offender. You don't want to get in trouble for something friend has downloaded. Worried for you! Stay strong!! Iron boundaries with pit bulls at the gates!

I never thought of that. I will figure out the best way to protect myself. Thanks.

CantExplain · Jun 06, 2014, 11:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tametc

I never thought of that. I will figure out the best way to protect myself. Thanks.

Plus he might hide drugs or ammo in your couch.

CantExplain · Jun 07, 2014, 04:29 AM

I feel really lonely when no one else sees things the way I do...

stopdog · Jun 07, 2014, 04:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CantExplain

I feel really lonely when no one else sees things the way I do...

For me it depends upon what it is about and what difference it makes. It is not an unusual situation for me to find myself in but often it is theoretical rather than actual in terms of differences..

Jun 07, 2014, 06:06 AM

Today is the big day. My son graduates high school!

unaluna · Jun 07, 2014, 10:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CantExplain

I feel really lonely when no one else sees things the way I do...

Not true (that no one sees things the way you do). Venerable t does.

This is kind of the problem with therapy. It feels safer to keep knocking at a closed door, than to walk thru an open one. Venerable T could have a solution to your mother/madame t problem - then what?

tametc · Jun 07, 2014, 03:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Readytostop

Today is the big day. My son graduates high school!

Wow, this is a big day! Congratulations to him and to his proud Mama!

CantExplain · Jun 07, 2014, 03:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hankster

Not true (that no one sees things the way you do). Venerable t does.

This is kind of the problem with therapy. It feels safer to keep knocking at a closed door, than to walk thru an open one. Venerable T could have a solution to your mother/madame t problem - then what?

I only met him once. One good quote doesn't make a relationship.

penguinh · Jun 07, 2014, 04:30 PM

Holy **** my brain is ****ed. This is not a good time for me to relapse. I ended up wasting a whole day instead of working on very important assignments due Monday. What is going on?

penguinh · Jun 07, 2014, 04:53 PM

I'm crippled by anxiety again. I can't start on anything because I'm so stressed. I was doing so well! I would be fine if these were individual projects but one of them is a group effort and I'm team lead. I can't be screwing my whole team over! I'm so stuck I'm seriously contemplating on overdosing on my meds to get a medical excuse out of this. I don't know what to do!!!!!!

CantExplain · Jun 07, 2014, 04:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by penguinh

I'm crippled by anxiety again. I can't start on anything because I'm so stressed. I was doing so well! I would be fine if these were individual projects but one of them is a group effort and I'm team lead. I can't be screwing my whole team over! I'm so stuck I'm seriously contemplating on overdosing on my meds to get a medical excuse out of this. I don't know what to do!!!!!!

At times like this, I ask myself what is one thing I can do right now that would move me towards my goal? Never mind about finishing, never mind about success or failure. What can I do, not matter how small, right now.

Could you ask someone else to take the lead?

RTerroni · Jun 07, 2014, 05:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CantExplain

I feel really lonely when no one else sees things the way I do...

I feel the same way

Ike McCaslin · Jun 07, 2014, 10:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Readytostop

Today is the big day. My son graduates high school!

Congrats to you both, Ready.

LolaCabanna · Jun 08, 2014, 12:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by penguinh

Holy **** my brain is ****ed. This is not a good time for me to relapse. I ended up wasting a whole day instead of working on very important assignments due Monday. What is going on?

I totally understand this right now, I so get this... hang on

CantExplain · Jun 08, 2014, 01:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LolaCabanna

I totally understand this right now, I so get this... hang on

Hi Lola! Great to see you! Has W moved in yet?

LolaCabanna · Jun 08, 2014, 01:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CantExplain

Hi Lola! Great to see you! Has W moved in yet?

Not yet, recent events have pushed our time line by 2 weeks. Good to see you too.

Jun 08, 2014, 07:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CantExplain

I feel really lonely when no one else sees things the way I do...

I am honestly baffled at the notion that what you describe could be anything other than the normal state of things. Do real people feel that others see things the way they do, in general? I'm not saying that it has never happened to me, but it's unusual. (Why I would not do group therapy if I were paid to do it, part 4711.)

RTS - congratulations to your son, and you!

neutrino · Jun 08, 2014, 08:50 AM

It's a sick world we live in.

Rant over.

LolaCabanna · Jun 08, 2014, 10:15 AM

One foot in front of the other, it is so hard to pick yourself up off the ground over and over. I have a list of stuff to do and I want to do nothing.

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