T today

a few times .I e-mailed her and she was not supportive of that. so I have not done that much. in the 4 years I have called her about 4 times but she never called me back the last time. now I think that this is why it seems the dbt that is attached to this emotional regulation stuff says no contact when you are upset . that just seems so hurtful and just how my whole life is .is this how they teach people to with the horrible things.

she didn't mention all this just the emotional regulation stuff but it is connected with all this horrible stuff

So you are saying your T is planning to do this based on what? SHE didn't mention DBT. Has she ever mentioned DBT to you? You seem to be adding 1 + 1 and getting 2,326. Don't do this to yourself Granite.

I know this sounds crazy but I think I do need to call her tomorrow when she is in her office because I cant do this if it is all what I think. I so hope it isnt

I think that is a good idea. I suspect she will be able to reassure you that your worst fears really aren't at all in her "plan".

I agree, dont google, its the worst, I got myself into a frenzy over it, I read that therapists hate working with bpd clients, and I started hating my t for that, and she had no clue, I read, that clients who have emotional regulation problems are automatically sent to dbt, cause therapist wont or dont like working with them, I reacted to that too. I finally told her, she said our therapy is in this room, not online.

an emotional regulation article that does not involve DBT, a bit kinder

http://education-portal.com/academy/...es.html#lesson

I hate DBt

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For me, emotional regulation means not doing something harmful or going to bed or even just not mentally freaking out "too much" whenever contacted by the evil ones. It means leaving well ahead of time for my doctor appointments instead of waiting til the last minute then freaking out if there is a little traffic jam. So it is more about learning to handle things the way my mother didnt handle them with me, even tho she may have done those things for herself. She didnt teach them to me growing up. She was always rushing me. Always making me nervous. Always letting me know i was getting in the way somehow, and all she wanted to do was get me back out of the way asap. I think your t is finally seeing how intrusive you feel just sitting there? Thats what it sounded like she said.

I also love this definition .it explains a lot about it and also does not mention DBT

What's so bad about DBT? I had a good experience in my group and went through it 3 times. The emotional regulation module was very helpful! I had excellent leaders and liked the group members. DBT isn't something to dread, and BPD isn't a death sentence!

glad that you have had a good experience

emotional regulation is just a term granite. all it means is that you need to focus on regulating (making sure they stay even instead of wildly going up and down when stressed) your emotions. it is a skill everyone needs to learn for better emotional health. It may be a term used in DBT, but that doesn't mean that DBT "owns" it. I agree with Sierra, stay off google! It just spirals you out of control even more, and you don't need that.

I've noticed a trend of you starting off sessions where you feel horrible nad awful, and a year ago it would stay that way throughout the entire session, and you would leave feeling worse and spiral down. Now you may start off feeling horrible and awful, but you manage to TELL T that and she jumps right in to help you, and you leave feeling less awful. This is a big step, and I hope you continue doing that, because little by little you will trust that your T doesn't hate you and you will be more open to telling her your feelings in the moment. That is how healing happens. Stick with all the ugliness, you can do it.

I agree . I did find some sights that didn't paint emotional regulation in a bad light . and at first I did feel better when I left and then I got on google . but this morning I am calmer and am thinking more about it . I do believe I have become much better at communicating with her over time. sometimes I loose sight of this. I did panic last night because I told her of a horrible thing I did and I think that might have been a bit of a fall out and made everything else look bad. I do have a lot of questions for her round this . like does she feel that this should be the focus of my T and maybe it is best I never talk about my past at all and to focus on regulating my future and my now . it seems I get upset when I talk about the simplest thing from my past .

I wonder if this applies to all the internal emotional upheaval I can feel without any external trigger . the feeling that someone hates me or that I just feel that I am horrible at the core . that that is just who I am

I think this is VERY accurate. Emotional dysregulation sparks all kinds of thoughts and reactions.