Blackmail

Patagonia · Jul 20, 2014, 05:21 PM

I haven't been a role model in T & I'm going down hill fast. I am trying.
I tried to get out of an appt for this week & she said NO!
When I called & tried that she locked me into something else. She said she's going to call me back in an hr & if I don't pick up she's going to tattle on me & called my H & tell him everything!
What happened to confidentiality? She knows that telling my H is my ultimate fear & I know she's doing it on purpose to get her way!
Isn't that basically blackmail?

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NowhereUSA · Jul 20, 2014, 05:29 PM

are you in danger? if you're going to harm yourself then she has certain obligations.

iheartjacques · Jul 20, 2014, 05:29 PM

Report her and run.

Jul 20, 2014, 05:33 PM

If you are a danger to yourself or others, you leave the T with few options. Is that the issue?

healed84 · Jul 20, 2014, 05:34 PM

I think she only has the right to do it, if she feels you are in danger.

This happened to me this past winter. I had a plan and a date, T said he was allowed to break confidence in this case and tell my h my plan. He told me he would do so, unless I told H what I was thinking. It that case, it was merely to keep me safe. Had I cancelled any appointments at that time without a legit excuse, I am sure he would have tried his hardest to get me in there.

kaliope · Jul 20, 2014, 05:34 PM

just as nowhere stated, unless you are a danger to yourself, she cannot tell your husband anything. at that, she can only tell him you are a danger to yourself and cannot give him any details. only that he needs to get you help. she will be violating confidentiality otherwise and you can file charges against her. she is blackmailing you and not being very professional. on the other hand she much really care about you to be trying so desperately to get you to come in. take care.

stopdog · 07:16 PM

This is why I urge caution when dealing with therapists, never put a contact person down on their paperwork, and get away from this one as fast as you can.
Or tell your husband so there is nothing to threaten you with. Families are often trouble.
I advise clients not to stay at their homes or close relatives or friends if they are concerned. And one may be free to leave the state.
I do not advise endangering or harming one's own self or others.

NowhereUSA · Jul 20, 2014, 05:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

This is why I urge caution when dealing with therapists, never put a contact person down on their paperwork, and get away from this one as fast as you can.
Or tell your husband so there is nothing to threaten you with. Families are often trouble.

i made sure all the contact #s at my t's office all route back to me.

Jul 20, 2014, 06:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

This is why I urge caution when dealing with therapists, never put a contact person down on their paperwork, and get away from this one as fast as you can.
Or tell your husband so there is nothing to threaten you with. Families are often trouble.

On the other hand, without any contact person, a T or pdoc may have to engage the help of law enforcement if you are a danger to yourself or others if you refuse to admit yourself voluntarily (in which case your family almost certainly be involved after the fact anyway).

My T and Pdoc will contact my husband when they find it necessary that I go inpatient. I much prefer they go that route, allowing my husband to assist me in getting inpatient care, than the prospect of being admitted involuntarily. No, either way it isn't fun, but when I am at that point, that may be exactly what needs to happen for my safety.

Patagonia, none of here know what is going on with you or what your level of safety is. I hope you will find ways to communicate honestly how you are doing and get whatever care and intervention you need right now. It sounds like your T is highly concerned about your condition right now.

healed84 · Jul 20, 2014, 06:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

This is why I urge caution when dealing with therapists, never put a contact person down on their paperwork, and get away from this one as fast as you can.
Or tell your husband so there is nothing to threaten you with. Families are often trouble.

BUT, SD.. What if a person is truly in danger? It is a therapist job to keep their client away from harm, and we all know that. I feel like we are setting ourselves up for failure and worse yet, an untimely death if we refuse to let T's keep us safe.

healed84 · Jul 20, 2014, 06:10 PM

Thanks, Chris.. You said it much better than I could

healed84 · Jul 20, 2014, 06:13 PM

And, furthermore, SD.. I feel like in this case if, the orginal poster is a danger to his/herself you are condoning such actions. IMHO that is not the kind of stance we should take in a forum filled with sick and hurting people.

Patagonia · Jul 20, 2014, 06:40 PM

I like SD's answer

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stopdog · Jul 20, 2014, 06:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by healed84

And, furthermore, SD.. I feel like in this case if, the orginal poster is a danger to his/herself you are condoning such actions. IMHO that is not the kind of stance we should take in a forum filled with sick and hurting people.

I am not telling anyone on this forum what they should or should not do. What any person should do is completely up to them.

stopdog · Jul 20, 2014, 06:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by healed84

BUT, SD.. What if a person is truly in danger? It is a therapist job to keep their client away from harm, and we all know that. I feel like we are setting ourselves up for failure and worse yet, an untimely death if we refuse to let T's keep us safe.

We all have our beliefs on this and if yours works for you in your situation, then I would not seek to talk you out of it.

Patagonia · Jul 20, 2014, 06:54 PM

I'm in danger but don't want help

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healed84 · Jul 20, 2014, 06:55 PM

You're right, you aren't telling anybody to do anything. You are suggesting, giving the opposite point of view which you do often, which is fine. I jus tend to think when it comes to the safety of another person, suggesting, or condoning something that would detrimental to their life, is a little reckless.

I just think back to this past winter, when I was at my lowest place ever, where the threat of inpatient was present at every appointment for about two months. If I had just ONE person suggest that doing whatever I could to sabotage T trying to help me and keep me safe, my irrational state of mind, may ignore the people keeping me safe and listen to the one person who maybe saying otherwise.

stopdog · Jul 20, 2014, 06:59 PM

I do not recommend endangering or hurting oneself or others. It often does not lead to where one wants and can be quite unsettling in the sorting out.

Jul 20, 2014, 07:02 PM

T is not allowed to tell your husband any details of your sessions. He can only report his concern for you. If your T says more than that - ever - he is violating your HIPPA rights and should be reported. I hope you can go back to your T and either talk things out with him or let him know you are going to see another T. This is not a good sign for someone that is supposed to be helping you. I hope you can find another T for your sake.

Jul 20, 2014, 07:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

This is why I urge caution when dealing with therapists, never put a contact person down on their paperwork, and get away from this one as fast as you can.
Or tell your husband so there is nothing to threaten you with. Families are often trouble.
I advise clients not to stay at their homes or close relatives or friends if they are concerned. And one may be free to leave the state.

I agree.

HazelGirl · Jul 20, 2014, 07:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Patagonia

I'm in danger but don't want help

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No one can force you to get help. Why don't you want help? If you don't want help, there's nothing that anyone can do except force you to keep living until you manage to evade the systems. But I do know for a fact that if you honestly and completely seek true help, commit to doing whatever the heck it takes, and then stick with it even when it's hard, things will eventually improve. Quitting on yourself is not giving yourself the chance at something better.

Jul 20, 2014, 07:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Patagonia

I'm in danger but don't want help

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Please let your husband know you aren't safe. Go to an ER if necessary. You may not want help, but it sounds like you need it. You do not appear to be thinking clearly.