Do T's purposely trigger to get a reaction?

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Do you think T's purposely trigger clients?
Or T does something on purpose that they know would cause a reaction in a client?

Not talking about in exposure therapy, but other types of therapy...

No therapist I have had has done anything near that. In fact, the opposite. Taking pains to not do so, even if they may consider the issue something that needs to be addressed. Patience and timing is everything. You can't force something on someone that would be bad for them; it's unethical and actionable.

If a therapist did something like that, I would walk out immediately and not pay. Some people believe in "confrontation." I don't and won't tolerate it.

If they reason that their witnessing a reaction is necessary for their analysis to be well informed, they certainly might, especially if they perceive a client as having given them carte blanche, or free reign.

I'm sure it differs quite a bit from one T to another though. It's likely well worth asking an individual therapist what their position on that kind of action is, if it's a concern.

Mine did ... We had talked about it previously and I agreed...From the discussion to it actually happening was a couple months.. When it did I was able to handle it right away and that is what I really personally needed to know.

I trust my T and I know if he is doing XYZ that he feels its going to help me.

I'd rather he trigger me than it happening in Walmart or somewhere else.

No, I definitely do not. It's not advised, particularly not when doing trauma work. Can it happen accidentally, certainly, that's fairly common given the subject matter, but I too would run from a provider who thought that purposeful triggering was a good idea. I've never met one who does.

A good one will not. The first therapist I saw was not a good one. She had been angling for me to tell her my childhood name. I finally relented some months later (she was persistent), but begged her to never use it. Some time later, she did, and the sly smile on her face when I was triggered told me that she very much wanted to test it out. I felt betrayed. We did not last long after that.

In most cases my own T does not; but she has mentioned something because she knew I would react to it in hopes of getting me to open up about it. In most cases she takes care not to though; only when she feels I need a "push" as I sometimes do. Do you feel this happened to you?

I'd say there's a big difference between being pushed and triggered too. I think about triggering in terms of sufferers of Post Traumatic Stress disorder where a cue pertaining to the original trauma can cause a nightmarish reaction.

Not as the same as being challenged. I think strategically, thoughtfully challenging clients is common, and wouldn't equate that with triggering at all.

I wish there were a handbook on therapy for people to know what to expect of a good therapist, something more than the 50 signs (or whatever it's called) of a bad therapist. I was so ignorant about therapy and vulnerable and used to being manipulated irl that I could not have stopped anything. I did have one or two that were clearly competent and would not do something like the OP is asking about, but there's just not a lot of regulation or oversight in this field and many people who are seeking help (speaking for myself) don't know enough to put up boundaries.

I would love a handbook by stopdog. She could call it something like Stay Back and Don't Do Things at Me: How to Deal with a Wily Therapist

As Leah said, there is a difference between challenging someone or pushing them vs purposefully triggering them.

I think part of it depends on the therapist's training and also their competence, not to mention intention. A therapist might trigger you because they are incompetent. They might trigger you because the particular type of therapy is more confrontational (e.g. REBT vs humanistic). They might trigger you cause they are mean or unethical (e.g. racist or sexist or whatever). They might trigger you because they don't know you well enough (assuming it's quite early in your meetings) and accidentally touch on hot button issue.

A good therapist is careful. Like a good teacher, they push you forward to face your problems. I think it's best (and many therapists don't do this) to review the purpose of therapy with the client regularly. What are the things you are trying to improve or fix or get past. With that clear in mind, you and therapist will be working together to move forward towards them. But you can't get there if you never feel uncomfortable. Some level of discomfort is necessary. The important part is that it's not too much or too sudden or trigger someone badly. Getting triggered is inevitable in therapy. It will happen for everyone. That's different from getting triggered in a big way or getting repeatedly triggered.

But all this is in service of improving the person's mental health. So if I go to my therapist and say I wish my mom was dead, there is a lot of anger there. Pretty much a lot of triggers. It's a minefield. If my purpose is to improve my relationships, we may have to get back to this one at some point. And the therapist will need to push me to express certain feelings I am not comfortable with. For instance in reality I am very uncomfortable with expressing anger or being exposed to anger. It's almost always triggering for me. My therapist had to push me to express some of those feelings and I ended up angry at her! At some point I saw her like mom and felt infuriated at her. But she realized in time to back off. She learned how much to push me. She pushed me...and then let go...pushed me...and let go, giving me time to recover and see where I'm at and how I'm doing. It's a careful process. Both sides have to feel like they're on the same page. It takes skill.

I believe some do. And I believe they enjoy it although they will always blame the client or claim it is in the client's best interest - which of course they cannot know but saying such a thing relieves them.

Mine doesn't and wouldn't. She is so apologetic when something happens that triggers me accidentally. She sometimes avoids conversations that might be triggering because she doesn't want to create anxiety in me even if it's an important topic.

Okay; mini correction here. (I am not trying to hijack your thread so I apologize and will shut up if I need to.) When I say "trigger" may I do mean "strong push". Like Hazel, my T is apologetic when a trigger is accidently hit but more so - she wants to just make sure i'm okay. However, there has been one or two times where shes brought up something that I tell her I hate talking about and she's said "yes, I know. That's why I said it." She isn't being rude or cynical - she wants to teach me (and it's been helpful) that feelings are survivable; she's also helped me learn self soothing mechanisms for when I am triggered.

Do you feel your T is triggering you or pushing you? Or is it hard to tell?

I feel my T is purposely crossing boundaries and triggering me, therefore causing me to spiral downward.

I don't think T's should do it. They never know what can happen when we leave their office.

Does T not make sure that you are stable before leaving the office? Can you contact him/her out of session if you are triggered and need calming? Have you told her about the triggers; or she/he told you why they continue to cross those boundaries? Are they things that he/she could have forgotten? Could she be trying to assess how triggering the topic still is for you? Or maybe trying (ineffectively) to help you "get used" to those boundaries being pushed for whatever reason?

I hope you will tell your therapist this. Though it may not feel like it, you are in charge as the consumer, she is at your service. You two must agree on the manner of treatment for it to work. Of course, she may say things that bother you, but you shouldn't be feeling so out of control and violated that you're spiraling downward because she's being too aggressive with you. Definitely worth a long conversation so you two come to a better understanding and then you can decide what to do.

Pushing or certain kinds of confrontation are a part of some therapy methods, though not all. When done at the wrong time or for the wrong reason or with the wrong amount of force, they are at high risk for harm and have as an undercurrent some amount of power and aggression. So even if there is some sort of justification for their use, they still are not the safest ways to go about things.

As Leah pointed out, this differs from triggering, which is deliberately destabilizes the client. I can't see any reason at all that could justify doing that.

What connects these, besides the power implicit behind their use, is some degree of manipulation, an obviously loaded and tricky word and concept. While we are there to "undergo" a process, so in a way willingly "submit" to someone else, the way this is handled on both sides really matters and makes all the difference.

Some sorts of what has been called "pushing" I would not necessarily call that, but I understand. My therapist sometimes uses the analogy of being a midwife to describe his role. I mention it because a midwife does help someone "push," but it is entirely different from being pushed. Most people have a natural reflex to become resistant when pushed even if it is paradoxically with the knowledge that it gets them in the direction they want to go. It seems that it has the potential to make things more difficult than they already are or need to be.

An example that comes to mind, though I don't have a reference, is that confrontation with alcoholics often backfires and can even make things worse. But some approaches (I think it is motivational interviewing) deliberately avoid confronting that issue head on and pick up on other issues somewhat tied to problematic drinking. And the clients respond by stopping the problematic drinking without it being directly "pushed."

Sorry to hear about what is happening empty space. (And sorry. I posted while that was being written.)

It must feel terrible. And on top of that you are not new so you have something established which I think would make it even harder.

Still what matters is your well-being. If you are getting destabilized by therapy and you feel it is intentional and harmful and not something you have control over, considering stopping (and possibly leaving) is really important to allow as a possibility. Made very difficult with an established relationship, but sometimes having a conversation about this type of thing is not enough or not possible.

I reached a painful impasse with a therapist that I had seen 3 times a week for years. But nothing could be done to remedy the situation. I had to make a choice between me or him. It was one of the more difficult things I've ever done, but looking back it was the right thing to leave. Our relationship had run its course and was no longer productive. The tangles were too much to work through and not worth the agony.

Luckily there was a colleague of his standing nearby and he turned out to be excellent and even better for me though I did not know that at the time. Should you decide to leave your therapist, she is obligated to provide you with appropriate referrals. There is a way out.

I'm sorry to hear that. I'm not sure if you're comfortable sharing more about what you mean about crossing boundaries or your T triggering you in this thread, but whatever it is, this is something that you may want to bring up with your therapist for sure, saying you feel worse or unstable or triggered when you leave. If their explanation does not make sense or you still think they are doing it on purpose, you may want to think about changing therapists. Remember, your well-being is number one. They are getting paid to offer a professional service and help you feel better and able to deal with issues that are bothering you. Everything should eventually be moving in that direction.

IMO, a good T would never intentionally trigger a client. That is just unethical. Incompetent/inexperienced Ts may accidentally trigger a client but that is different from using the unequal power dynamics of the therapeutic relationship to exploit a client's vulnerability. I do not see how this can help recovery in any way and instead is likely to damage trust - the fundamental basic of therapy.

Like what the others have said, some more confrontational therapies do entail a certain degree of pushing. That is fine because without hard work there won't be results. But again, pushing =/= triggering.

I think you should talk about this with your T and tell him that it's upsetting to you.