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#1
Oct 03, 2014, 09:29 PM
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I don't know how to feel right now. I had another session with my T and it was very weird. (you can message me on here if you want to know... I want to cry just typing it.)
My T also triggered me today. I have a horrible past, and I got extremely tense during my session and he grabbed my wrists, took me off the couch hand held on to me. The holding on was fine, its just when he forcibly grabbed my wrist, which hurt the most and reminded me about something in my past. I want to bring it up to him, but I am to scared to. I don't want to hurt his feelings. Today was really rough. |
 brillskep, Freewilled, lozza89
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#2
Oct 03, 2014, 09:32 PM
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This isn't therapy.
This and the inappropriate sensual contact described so explicitly in the last two threads sound more like a fantasy of therapy gone wrong than reality. (http://forums.psychcentral.com/psych...oundaries.html) What are you looking for here? 20+ folks have already said it is critically important to leave this therapist so that's not the answer- maybe you could clarify what you'd like to hear or what would be helpful? Last edited by Leah123; Oct 03, 2014 at 09:55 PM. |
 brillskep, feralkittymom, Petra5ed, precaryous, sweepy62
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#3
Oct 03, 2014, 09:40 PM
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Clients do not need to take care of therapists. You can tell the therapist. It won't hurt his feelings in all likelihood, and it does not really matter if it does. That is the therapist's problem to deal with.
__________________
Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
| Bipolarchic14, wotchermuggle
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#4
Oct 03, 2014, 09:51 PM
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Quote:
so I kind of know what you are going through. thinking of you  it won't hurt his feelings to bring this up with him. like others have said you are what is most important and if your T has a problem then that is HIS issue not yours.
__________________
"...sometimes the only way to see the light at the end of the tunnel, is to crawl through the mud in darkness." ~ Rachel Reiland - get me out of here ~ |
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#5
Oct 03, 2014, 09:52 PM
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This is a VERY dangerous situation!!! If he is already having erections in session 2 and grabbing you forcibly in session 3, there is a real chance he could rape you in the coming sessions. Are you willing to take that risk?
Since everyone has already told you he is unethical and he is not actually practicing therapy, what is the pull that is causing you to go back? Maybe if you explain why you want to continue with him-- despite the boundary violations-- we can help better give you the kind of feedback you're looking for? |
| RedSun
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#6
Oct 03, 2014, 09:53 PM
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This therapist sounds horribly abusive. Please get out while you can.
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#7
Oct 03, 2014, 09:58 PM
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Quote:
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| RedSun
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#8
Oct 03, 2014, 10:04 PM
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Why not see another T at the same time? This way you don't have to leave yet and you have the support and back up to keep you safe(r) in this situation.
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| anilam, Leah123
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#9
Oct 03, 2014, 10:05 PM
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I'm not quite clear what help you're looking for? If you could maybe ask a question so folks could try to answer specifically or tell us if you want sympathy for choosing to see someone that is seriously scaring a lot of us? Or something else?
I can't really speak for the group, of course, but I think the last thread is a good indication that the vast majority wouldn't want to help you feel comfortable ignoring your own instincts about this fast-moving, touch-hungry therapist. So much touch in such an intimate fashion so fast, and the disturbing elements on top of that interaction, his arousal, the grabbing, etc. etc. is just the biggest red flag I've encountered on this forum in a long time. This is so concerning, much more like a screenplay for a thriller/drama than the reality of what therapy should be like. I hope you'll listen to your fear. Last edited by Leah123; Oct 03, 2014 at 10:28 PM. |
| feralkittymom, missbella, sweepy62
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#10
Oct 03, 2014, 10:08 PM
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Quote:
__________________
"...sometimes the only way to see the light at the end of the tunnel, is to crawl through the mud in darkness." ~ Rachel Reiland - get me out of here ~ |
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#11
Oct 03, 2014, 10:09 PM
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#12
Oct 03, 2014, 10:22 PM
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Hmmmm.....he is clearly not a good therapist...why do you return to him?
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#13
Oct 03, 2014, 10:57 PM
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Wow, I just don't see how you are coping with these triggers that your therapist is TRIGGERING in you.
This is very concerning and I'm sorry for your situation , people go to therapy to try and process these things safely and can take a long time. This is your 3 rd session and it seems like I should tell you to take self defense classes against the very person who is suppose to heal you. On the flip side, it's not your fault , you did not make him do anything , you have no reason to feel guilty or sorry for him. You DO have the responsibility and the knowledge that this is not healthy, and you need to walk away. You can walk away from this, as opposed to when you were a child, and we are here for support. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
Bipolar 1 Gad Ptsd BPD ZOLOFT 100 TOPAMAX 400 ABILIFY 10 SYNTHROID 137 |
| Can't Stop Crying, feralkittymom, Leah123
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#14
Oct 03, 2014, 11:05 PM
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Please do not apologize for posting! You are not a waste of time. We want to help you. Post away!!!
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| Can't Stop Crying
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#15
Oct 03, 2014, 11:22 PM
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I find it difficult to offer something helpful to your situation because you don't go into more details about your problems. I am only getting a glimpse of things. I don't know where you are or how old are you or what kind of problems you've had or where you live or if you have any friends or family that can come with you for therapy or a medical doctor you can talk, etc. I understand you say your English is not good but in order to get better more specific help, you need to explain more.
You made a thread about changing therapist and the new therapist was aroused and you accidentally touched him there and when he hugged you, and now this about the therapist (same one?) grabbing your hands off the couch in a very difficult session. Why did he do that? Was he worried about you damaging the couch? Was he trying to hug you in a sexual way? Were you out of control? Please provide context so you can get better help and suggestions. Thank you. |
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#16
Oct 04, 2014, 12:13 AM
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| Can't Stop Crying
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#17
Oct 04, 2014, 03:53 AM
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Yes, you're not wasting anyone's time at all.
I understand the...need for approval maybe? Or love, acceptance? That is keeping you with this t. And I really get the confusion around attachment, intimacy and sexual feelings. It's often very difficult to work out which feeling is which, and if you need love and intimacy you might take sexual feelings instead, especially if it is disguised as care. I feel like it's possible that your t is being very clever here, and using your vulnerability and need for love as a way to get his own ends met (literally!) So, maybe a good plan might be...tell this t that you can't come in for a week, because you have to go somewhere etc. make another appt with him for a week or two if that will make you feel better, and stop him pestering. Then, go see another t. Maybe a female? Tell her about this t, and take her advice. That way, you will feel supported, and hopefully know that you will be getting the intimacy you need from another t, in an appropriate boundaries way. When you feel strong enough, stop seeing current t. You don't need to worry about his feelings, or explain yourself, and maybe your new t can support you with what to say etc. Good luck xxxxx |
| Can't Stop Crying
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#18
Oct 04, 2014, 08:28 AM
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Do you pay him for his sexual actions? Just wondering.
I cant understand what kind of help do you want from us. If you like him satisfying himself with you and your money then why not? But dont you worry he acts like that with another girls too? If my T did that stuff with other girls and also me and I found out I wasnt the only one I would want to die. I know one T who had sex with many clients (not with me) and he is still practising because they were ex clients and its allowed but I wouldnt want to be one of them. I hope you will feel better soon
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#19
Oct 04, 2014, 11:27 AM
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Please forgive any typos... My computer is down and I am on a tablet.
Someone once told me that 'it's better to be alone than wish you were' I honestly think you'd be better with no t than this guy. He's being inappropriate, period. And you realize that, or you wouldn't have posted asking about it. I don't know what his end game is here. But I can't imagine ANY way that it ends and you are not hurt. So, the way I see it... you can end now...even if painful and go forward with someone else to work on your current issues... our end later and have to deal with your current issues PLUS all the new issues this guy will cause. As hard as it is too end now... My guess is it will be a million times harder to start over later after you have had your trust shattered by this guy (not to mention the money you'll waste with him). In the end its your therapy and your choice of course. But it might be helpful to think about where you may end up if you stay on this road and how it will affect you if this goes as bad as most people here think it will.... If you really can't beat to leave, please consider the advice you've gotten to talk to a different t for some help. I'd also recommend asking him outright if you can try a session with NO touch... just talking, and see what happens. Good luck |
| pmbm
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#20
Oct 04, 2014, 11:37 AM
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read your posts....what would you tell another person if they read what you posted...i'm guessing you would be horribly concerned for their safety and encourage them to get away from that situation as quickly as possible, that is just pure speculation on my part.... |
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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