finding the balance

i guess i've started talking about the past with my t.

i'm finding it hard to find the balance between staying in the present and talking through what happened in a coherant, logical fashion; and emotionally connecting with it, which runs the risk of my feeling lost in the past and becoming incoherant.

i know you are meant to emotionally connect with it.
but i know you aren't meant to feel lost in the past.

hard to find the balance.

is it meant to be a back and forth thing, maybe?
switching between 'rational' and 'emotional' mind/s?

it is hard to switch between them instead of getting stuck at one of the poles.

I get the feeling that the rational mind is our safety place that we go to when the feelings are too strong. It can be a defense mechanism to protect us from pain. I don't think its a bad sign that you touch and pull back. My therapist describes the exploration like peeling an onion. Each time you go a little deeper - but not until you are ready - and it gets easier every time.

You must be ready for this now. I haven't gotten very good at the past yet myself. It's still a blank space for the most part. Certain facts about my past stir me up, but I can't do events yet. It's almost like they don't exist because I can't remember them. I often feel like there's a hole in my life.

I also think that eventually as we swing between to poles, the extremes become less extreme until we find the center.

AK, Its been my experiencing that I have at times got "lost" in the past. I still do, Its hard regressing back in T only to have be grown up and be responsible again outside T. Infact I was just talking about this in my last session. I think we just have to be gentle and understanding for ourselves whilst we work through our stuff in T.

I think emotions are inherently not logical? I don't think one can connect and be logical at the same time; connection requires vulnerability and unknowns and can't be "controlled" or figured out beforehand. I like WinterRose's touch-and-go philosophy but, as Mouse says, that's very hard to do.

I do do think one can connect with the past without getting overwhelmed though (just as one/our T can connect with another person without getting swamped by their emotions). I think that is what I learned a bit of in therapy; constructing a sense of Self that doesn't get overwhelmed as easily and/or that is "all right" when it does, can ride it through without guilt or shame.