[ScarletPimpernel]

I'm not in a crisis atm, but there's a high possibility I might be. My dog is already really sick, and now she has a new problem. If my dog dies it will kill me. I lost another dog 2 years ago and barely survived that.

My T made me promise to call her in an emergency and to wait for her to respond before doing anything. But if my dog dies, I don't want to keep my promise. I know how she'll respond.

Part of me feels super guilty if I break my promise. My word means a lot to me. But another part of me knows that I will probably break my promise in this situation. I don't know what to do. Do I tell my T? I know I'm worrying before anything has happened, but I only got 2 days warning when my last dog passed away.

But then I still don't even want to tell her now. I don't want her to know I don't plan on keeping my promise. But then I'm breaking my other promise of being open and honest with her.

I wish I hated my T. I wish I didn't make any promises. I don't know what to do

I know the advice will be "tell your T". I have said that enough to others too. So I don't know what I want from writing this.

I have no advice, but wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you. It is so terribly hard when pets get sick, and when they die.

[CantExplain]

My advice is be brave and keep your promise. But it's your choice.

[ThingWithFeathers]

Scarlet, I know both the heartbreaking pain of loosing an animal family member and the feeling of being torn between my care for my t and my wish to end it all. I told my t of my dilemma (because, in the end, my care for her outweighed my care for myself) and I will tell you what she told me. First, it's important to intervene before it gets to the stage of absolutely not wanting to reach out: tell your t prior to making that final decision. Second, if caring about your t, as well as wanting to abide by your own ethics, prevents youffrom acting, then great - it's a good thing you have those to help guide you away from self destructive behaviour. Your t would want you to reach out now, before it gets worse

[MrPink182]

I can't really give you advice on what you should do. Do what you really feel at that moment if the dog passes. I'm real sorry. It is part of the reason why I don't have dogs anymore. They have a short time with us and it hurts losing them.

[ThisWayOut]

I'm sorry your dog is sick. It's so difficult to see them hurting. is also difficult to think of life without them...
I think being honest with t is probably a wiser choice, though I know that too can be hard. Maybe t can help you through some of this anxiety (coz right now, without knowing what's going on with your dog, it's just anxiety about her passing, not a definite). I know it's scary, but your dog is still there with you right now. Try to be in the moment with that and enjoy her company... reach out to t, let her know what going on, then spend some quality time with the pup.

I think the way you feel now is that you're telling yourself "I won't call my T because I want to be strong enough to handle this on my own". But, if the time comes and the worst happens, I think you should allow yourself the indulgence of calling her. It is not a sign of weakness to need to share your life with your T. Losing your pet is a terrible loss. I know how bad it feels. I won't have another animal again in my life because of the pain of losing one.

If the worst happens, the urge to call your T will be so strong, I think you will do it and will be glad you did. It's ok to need to be consoled over your loss. All of us need someone to go to. Don't hesitate and feel like you should go through this alone. Your T asked you to call her which means she cares. Let her care about you in your time of need.

I am so sorry you are going through this. Last summer I very unexpectedly lost both my cat and dog within a couple of weeks (they were both 13) and shortly after my therapist abandoned me. He didn't even really think losing my pets was that important. It was a horrible, awful time. I felt so helpless and lost and alone.

I think if your therapist has told you to contact her then you should. She can help you through this.

[precaryous]

I know how devastating it is to lose a dog family member. My little Emmy is a Shi-tzu/Poo and the most constant, loving creature in my world.

If the worst should happen, please reach out to your T and let T help console you. Please let T help keep you safe. Please reach out to us anytime you want and let us help you.

Pre

[angelene]

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

I know the advice will be "tell your T". I have said that enough to others too. So I don't know what I want from writing this.

You're hurting and you need to share. You've just received terrible news about a family member. Tell your T; it sounds like you have a good relationship and right now you definitely need that. I'm so sorry you are going through this.

I'm really sorry to hear about your dog.

Talking with your therapist might provide you with the extra support that you need at a time like this. That was my first thought.

I also noticed that you seem to have what's sometimes referred to as a 'harsh superego'. You always seem really hard on yourself i.e. perfectionist, super high demands and expectations on yourself, self critical, should do/not dos...

You are only human and right now very vulnerable. People break promises, People are dishonest at times. It's ok to not always fulfill the expectations you have of yourself.

I hope you talk with your therapist, but whatever you do, I hope you can loosen up a bit in terms of your decision-making, potentially not doing what you 'should' do. It's difficult enough to go through what you're going through with your dog without beating yourself up. In other words, give yourself a break.

[ScarletPimpernel]

Thank for the support.

I did email my T about the new problem with my dog a few days ago. She didn't respond. Either she's waiting to talk to me next session or she didn't understand my lvl of anxiety.

If I don't call my T it's not because I'm too proud and think I can/should handle it on my own. I won't be able to handle it. I have very few reasons to live. One is my T, one is my Pdoc, and another is both my dogs (the puppy isn't there yet because it takes a long time for me to bond). My dogs are my life. So when one dies, a reason to live goes away.

My dog is only 8. She is the sweetest most caring dog. She doesn't deserve to be sick. She deserves a long healthy life. Her skin sores from the MRSA now cover her entire body. We have exhausted all antibiotics. And this new problem is an **** gland infection. She is bleeding. If antibiotics aren't working anymore, how are we going to treat this new infection? And if she gets any more internal infections, then what?

I don't want my T to save me if this one dies.

Oh, and on top of all that, I'm also waiting to hear if my insurance will approve more sessions with my T. So if I lose my T and my dog...

[hellboy]

Your word is important, but your life is more so. You need to reach out and reconnect with the other people and things that are important to you. Always be honest with your therapist. If you're not honest with them they can't help you.

[precaryous]

{{Scarlet}}

Not long ago I was very depressed. I was tired of my life being out of control. I was going to take control.

I told my T that I had decided to stop taking my heart medicines and then no one would know that i didn't die from my disease. She said, "I will know!" I looked up and her face was red, she was about ready to cry. I felt really bad.

[Ad Intra]

I'm concerned about you. It sounds like you're very bad off. I really hope you do call your T and let her know everything that's going on. It would be sad for something bad to happen to you.

[stopdog]

I am sorry about your pet. It is so hard when they are sick or pass away.
I do not make promises to the therapist and I do not recommend it to others. I would do what I wanted because it is not like not following it hurts the therapist in any way.
Also, the therapist has made promises to me she has not kept -so I stop her if she used the word promise in any context.

[ThisWayOut]

I hope you can find something that helps your dog. That sounds really awful. Sending much love and healing vibes her way and yours.

[ScarletPimpernel]

We made an emergency vet appt. They told us to do hot compresses and gave us another antibiotic. We ran into our normal vet doctor and he asked us what we were doing. We told him what's going on. He said that it's not that the antibiotics won't work; it's that her immune system is so weak. He said hopefully the new antibiotics help with the new infection, but if we can't figure out why her immune system is so weak, she is going to continually suffer from infections which will shorten her lifespan. We've been at this for 2 years now. My dog is healthy otherwise and very happy and full of energy. It's just not fair.

I guess I'll try emailing my T again. It's not an emergency though, and I feel bad because I have depended on her way too much lately. I don't want to abuse the freedom she has given me with contacting her.

[precaryous]

I'm glad your pup was treated again by the vet....and I'm glad you are emailing T again. I'm sorry you are going through this.

[guilloche]

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

I guess I'll try emailing my T again. It's not an emergency though, and I feel bad because I have depended on her way too much lately. I don't want to abuse the freedom she has given me with contacting her.

(((ScarletPimpernel)))

Oh wow... I am so so incredibly sorry you and your pup are going through this. No dog really deserves to be sick, they are all such loyal and wonderful friends. It sounds exhausting, and scary, and painful. I hope there's a miracle for you around the corner.

Please call your T. I would argue that it *is* actually an emergency, or getting pretty darn close to it. She may not be getting that from emails. I would bet $1000 that she'd rather you call now, so she can understand where you're at and what's going on and be supportive and help you, then for you to wait until you're in a much worse place, where it might be even harder for her to help.

Please, please call her.

And lots of good energy here too being sent out to your dog. Hoping for the best...