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#1
Dec 28, 2014, 02:01 PM
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The depression is kicking my ***, and it's hard without a t right now, though it would probably be hard with one also.
Not sure what to do with myself. In the past I've reached out to crisis chats when I felt like this, but the last experience was horrible (they mistakened me for someone else that had apparently been really inappropriate and I was booted without being able to tell them they had me confused with someone else). I hesitate to go back, and I'm not sure what they could do for me anyway... I don't even know why I'm on here. I don't know what to ask. I'm not sure what support I need... just feel like I'm drowning. 
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 Anonymous43209, gayleggg, guilloche, sideblinded, UnderRugSwept
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#2
Dec 28, 2014, 02:43 PM
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(((ThisWayOut)))
I hear you. I think going back to counseling would be a great step in the right direction. You don't have to have any answers. Work it out with a T. I am sorry that you got booted for something that you had no control over. Depression is an awful thing as I, too have depression. Are you on meds for it? Hang in there and know that there is hope. Many hugs for you. Keep reaching out when you feel this way. Talk with friends or family if you can, OK? More  for you.
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 ThisWayOut
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#3
Dec 28, 2014, 02:53 PM
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i agree about going back to therapy.
you need support. |
| ThisWayOut
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#4
Dec 28, 2014, 03:01 PM
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going back is the plan, but need to wait for one to be assigned. I would have had my old T till the end of the year, but it didn;t feel right, so I terminated early with her... now I have to wait for a new one.
had been on meds several years ago, and I actually function better off of them... and yes, I have tried many, many meds in many doses and even more combinations. they are not a good choice for me. i wish I had the cash for a "real" therapist or more intensive therapy (because that helped the most in the past), but it's just to expensive. everything is too expensive... maybe a nap will help... Thank you both
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| sideblinded
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#5
Dec 28, 2014, 03:36 PM
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I think that's one of the worst aspects of depression or, indeed, any other mental health condition. That sensation of knowing you need "something" but not having the first clue about what that "something" is or how to ask for it/find it. At least when in session or some other means of self-help we can feel productive whereas that in-between kind of limbo makes us feel lost and isolated. Plus this time of year doesn't help either. Speaking for myself, I dread Christmas/New Year every year because I know my depression is going to ramp up several hundred notches and it's the one time T is unavailable. I don't really have any practical advice on where to get help, especially as I don't know whereabouts in the world you are. In the UK we have a 24/7 Samaritans service for people at a low ebb, maybe you could access something like that? Hopefully maybe just the knowledge that you are DEFINITELY not alone in this will help, even if only a little.
Hugs and all good things winging your way :-)
__________________
"Be like the promontory against which the waves continually break; it stands firm and tames the fury of the water around it." - Marcus Aurelius |
| ThisWayOut
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#6
Dec 28, 2014, 04:30 PM
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(((ThisWayOut))) - I'm so sorry you're hurting. Do you have any idea of when they'll assign you a new T? I hope they get back to you soon... is there anyway to let the agency know that you are really going through a hard time and need to get back in as soon as possible?
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| ThisWayOut
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#7
Dec 28, 2014, 05:33 PM
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__________________
Bipolar I, Depression, GAD Meds: Zoloft, Zyprexa, Ritalin "Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." -Buddha  |
| ThisWayOut
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#8
Dec 28, 2014, 06:38 PM
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Thanks all.
Sadly, the nap didn't help. I tried a crisis chat again (despite my better judgement) and she was all about thinking positive and doing affirmations because "if you just change the way you think, it will get better"... if I could manage that, I'd be fine...  I'm not sure when I'll get a new t. I'm pretty sure it won't happen till after next week. The agency is only open 2.5 days this coming week, then the new therapists start their internships, so sometime after they get settled in I guess... hoping to keep faking it through the week. There's an art class at the end of the week I want to go to. I can't always smile through it, but I always get something out of it... maybe I can sleep till then, or something... I hate when it gets this bad and nothing works to lift it. Then I turn into "negative Nelly" and everyone gets mad. I tried texting a friend and she made me feel like such **** about existing. I know she didn't mean to, but... is not hard for me to feel like crap right now. I would tell my wife how I feel, but she gets so frustrated when she can't bring me out of it. I'd rather not deal with her thinking I'm a worthless lump also. I'm sorry I'm such a drag... I don't mean to be. |
| sideblinded
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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