Missing LCM

You live in a city full of things to do, many of them free. Make a plan to get out each day. Yes, I know it's cold. Bundle up. Don't buy alcohol. It only causes you problems. Spend that money instead on something productive to do. This is only two weeks. This in quite manageable.

I hope you will fairly soon look into some sort of support group to deal with your alcohol issue and perhaps a therapist in addition to your LC so you have another go-to person in those times your LC is unavailable. It is great that you got out with a friend; do more of that. But you can also get out on your own rather than staying at home drinking and crying. Try not to isolate in your apartment; that's just trouble ready to happen.

Hang in there. Two weeks may seem like an eternity, but it really isn't that long. You can do this.

You can in fact keep your s*** together. If you can't, then go IP.

That's great on getting a guy's number! You don't have to do anything immediately; or at all. Spend a few days thinking about if you're even interested in getting to know him more; if it's just a booty call sort of thing then really think about if you'd want that or if it would just hurt you.

Wallowing and freting are why you need HEALTHY distractions. Drinking doesn't help; it just makes the worries worse. Which you are smart enough to know, so you're either choosing to torture yourself or you do indeed have an alcohol addiction that needs help.

Why not take the alcohol money and put it towards other things - healthier food, some new clothes, a book, whatever floats your boat that isn't destructive. Or just bank it to save up for something larger.

oh! Ij ust thought of an idea to make it easier to recount things for your LC when she's back. Why not keep yourself a log for every day where you record your healthy/positive choices on one side, and the unhealthy ones on the other - you could write down reasons for why they occurred if you wanted. It'll help you see how the overall picture is instead of just whatever sticks out in your memory in hindsight.

I threw away and blocked the number. He was kind of an idiot and pushy and I just got super overwhelmed anyway. Plus I don't think that I should be trying to talk to guys without LCM here. I've never been on a date before or anything and I'm super terrified of men. It just wouldn't be a good idea.

You made a responsible choice for yourself there growli, well done! I don't like pushy guys either. Sometimes just taking the number and then tossing it is the easiest thing to do

It wasn't a hard choice. I told him that I didn't think we'd be a good fit and he kept pushing me. I don't have time for that. The first guy I'm with is gonna have to be SUPER patient with me and clearly won't be him.

Smart. Good job on making g good choice especially if he is an idiot and pushy

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You can't have a conversation with him. He's too dumb. I'm not dumb I don't think and I need someone who I can have a full conversation with.

Either way, I'm waiting for LCM to come home. She makes me feel protected and I can't just find a random guy to make me feel safe in her absence. Yes, I know there is a lot more to it because I am a horny 21 year old and want to meet guys for that purpose as well. But I do think my increased loneliness since she left has made me more desperate. I don't trust my judgement. I trust hers.

You don't need dumb guy that's for sure lol no you clearly aren't dumb at all judging by your posts. Heck I know all about being desperate and acting on it is always a bad idea, but sure I know how that feels. Also know about being horny lol hang in there, just don't act on it please

I am not with anybody right now and after living with someone for 8.5 years I sure want something if you know what I mean lol but I can't just go and have sex with random dudes either. It never feels good, I am too old for that and it is dangerous

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I strongly suggest wait for dating/relationship/love or at least something pleasant or maybe at least friends with benefits someone you really like for first time intimacy. Don't do it with random dude you don't know. I can't even imagine doing it with whoever and I've been around the black lol don't do it. If you were 35 and never had it then screw it just go do it. But 22 is still very young. Plenty of people have sex first time in older age.

Of course it is just my opinion.

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Before she left, she told me that I am way too sensitive to just sleep with a random guy for my first time. She said I'd do serious damage if I did that. I think she's right. It's just hard because I mentally know that but my body doesn't always care

Sleeping with random guy is a bad idea at any age or even a 100th time. She is right. Yup it could be tough. But you'll survive. Working out helps me.
Hugs.

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I don't think it's a bad idea for everyone.

Sleeping with random men is dangerous. Std, violence etc anything is possible. You might go to meet him and he has 5 buddies there ready for gang activity.

Not too many women enjoy sex with men they don't know or don't like. Perhaps if you find male prostitute but that's different

You don't have any experience yet so you can't possibly know much on the subject

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It is always at least somewhat dangerous. However, random hookups from the Internet is something that is quite common. I don't want to speak for all women and say it's bad for everyone or that no one enjoys it. You are welcome to your opinion though.

It is common. I agree. People do hook up.

No having sex is not always dangerous. (To clarify I mean sex with random internet hookups is always dangerous, but not sex in
General)

I was married and then lived in committed relationship, there is nothing even remotely dangerous about them or having sex with them. They are safest decent proper men. My daughter is married and there is nothing dangerous about her husband neither now nor when they were not married yet. Etc etc etc etc

Men are not dangerous.

It is dangerous when you know nothing about them

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Meeting someone through online dating (okcupid, match, etc) going on a handful of dates, and then having sex is very common and probably healthy. Meeting men online (through something like craiglist) and having sex immediately is less common and probably less healthy. You really should know some basics about someone before sex for safety reasons (and probably emotional ones too). Good job on tossing the number. Sounds like a healthy decision.

Yup, good post

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Well I was trying to do the former but honestly even before he was pushy I was extremely overwhelmed so I'm gonna wait.

Anyway, I'm having trouble figuring out what I want to do to make LCM proud today. I can't motivate myself to do anything

I am forcing myself to go laundry right now. And perhaps clean. My place is kind of clean but I need to vacuum as I brought some ice on my boots from outside. How about you do that too and we compare notes. I am very unmotivated today too

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I need to clean up the trash in my room but I'm exhausted

How about clean for 10 minutes? Yeah I've been home for the past 3 hours and am yet to do anything

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Divine's idea of cleaning for 10 minutes sounds like a really good and doable suggestion. I just cleaned out my car & am now in line at the car wash. My new year's resolution was to keep my house & car clean. So far, so good. It's not easy, but I've found that if I just force yourself to start the task, I end up finishing it no problem. It's the starting that is hard. You're never going to feel like cleaning-- cleaning sucks. But if you make yourself start, you usually keep going and end up feeling great about yourself and your space.

We all have our thing don't we?

I LOVE cleaning a bit to an extreme and unless my environment is pristine and very orderly I can't function ( I am hard to live with as I don't tolerate anything out of place) it is a control issue, the only thing I can control is my surrounding, but I have very hard time paying bills on time always pay them last minute and often late

I have bunch of bills to pay now, growli I'll pay my bills of you clean for 10 minutes, deal?

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I had to leave for opening night concert. It sucked. Not our performance. I think we played fine. I couldn't really tell. I wore earplugs the whole time.

I didn't get around to cleaning my room at all. I did take out the trash. I think the thing that LCM would be proud of me for doing yesterday was resisting my SH urges. They have been really bad since she left. But I took the day off other than the concert to sleep and relax and I resisted the urge to go out and buying something I could use. I instead did healthy things. I didn't even drink to curb them. I did, however, have a shot after the concert but it was just one and I wasn't sad when I took it. So, not a big deal.