Missing LCM

As most of your threads seem to take a similar turn, and this is not something that happens with most posters here, you seem to be unconsciously replaying the same pattern.

There seems to me to be a certain masochistic impulse in these threads. You come on and post something-- a drunk post with emotional, inflammatory, and/or triggering content, and if you don't get a response, you post again. Or else you post something about your LCM that is sure to get people going.

People begin to respond. If they are not already frustrated with you, you dig in your heels and reject any helpful suggestions they have to make. They get more frustrated, and the pile-on continues. You feel victimized. Eventually, one or two people post something more compassionate to soothe the wound.

Lather, rinse, repeat. I know I sure wouldn't keep coming back if I was lambasted as often as you are.

Hey Growli
Hugs for you
LCM will be back soon
Snugly up in bed with your cold friend and watch a Disney film
Xxxxx

I receive texts when I travel internationally. I agree though you shouldn't text her.
Please tell me it was a joke about peeing. I sure hope you don't pee on the floor.
You only need to wait for two weeks, in fact didn't one week already pass? So hang in there. She'll be back
Nothing wrong about masturbating . Everyone does.

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Probably off topic but when people start drinking to this extend they don't have hangovers, so it is harder to feel any remorse the next day. I lived with alcoholic. He Never ever was hangover. At times when it got very bad right before quitting (then always relapsing) he would drink as much as 750ml of vodka a night and still never had hangover. Not kidding.

That is one of the reasons the amount of alcohol they consume increases as not only they need more to get drunk they also do not feel sick the next day, they just need more and more

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Just because you have fantasies or see things in porn and it turns you on, it doesn't mean you are "in to". Some things are just fantasies and our bodies respond to them. Just because you are turned on, it doesn't mean much. When I saw threesome in porn I sure got turned on, but never in a million years I would I want or imagine any woman on this planet to come near man I love.

Getting turned on by stuff is a bodily reaction and often had nothing to do with reality. You are only 21, focus on other stuff in life

Ps the fact that you want to be dehumanized and mistreated by sexual partners and you never even had sex yet would need to be looked at professionally. But everyone else already said that many times

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People aren't ganging up on you.

It isn't ganging up just because everyone (or almost everyone) happens to have the same opinion.

That's really all I have left to say. You know the things that you can do to help yourself, and the things that you can do to make things worse for yourself. You choose the ones to make things worse.

Okay so I'm not physically addicted to alcohol. I have no physical urges to drink. Yes, I get hungover sometimes, not every time.


Yes there is a difference between being turned on by stuff in porn and having sex in real life. I am well aware of that. I have a hard time believing that I can enjoy watching what I do and wouldn't enjoy at least parts of it in real life. Unless it was too triggering. I have no intentions of actually trying that stuff out without being in a serious, trusting relationship.

There is a difference between wanting to be "mistreated" and BDSM. And even if they were the same thing, I think it's pretty clear if why that might be if you look at my past for 5 seconds.

Yeah I know I haven't responded to other people yet. I'm trying to think of something to say.

People point things out (which you then interpret as ganging up) because it is like watching a car crash in slow motion.

Your father raped you.

You say time and time again that you are scared of sex.

Despite knowing that you have abuse in your background, and apparently having the insight to know that the idea of sex makes you afraid, you then protest that you seriously have no idea why you are 'into' being dehumanized by men, and are seriously considering sleeping with men who would almost certainly treat you like sh#t on their shoe.

THIS IS WHY YOU NEED A TRAUMA THERAPIST.

You don't seem capable of even discussing it, after stirring up people's emotions, people who identify all too well with your pain and distress and sorrow. We are not trained therapists - again, that's exactly why you need a trauma therapist. You expect PC to be your therapist, over and over again, expecting unconditional positive support no matter what you say, getting obviously upset when people try to have a conversation with you about stuff that you bring to the table, and refusing to engage on an adult level.

I'm starting to think you do it for some kind of narcissistic supply, actually. It boils my piss. Not that you can help it, I know that. I expect it is unconscious.

If Growli says she isn't ready to deal with it, then she isn't ready. You can't FORCE someone to deal with anything in their past that they aren't ready to deal with. If she says she is here looking for support, than that is what she currently needs. Why is that so hard for people to accept? A lot of people on here are older than Growli (oftentimes much older than Growli) and are only starting to process their trauma now...they certainly didn't deal with it when they were 21. Telling someone over and over again what to do has no cumulative effect whatsoever; Growli will get a T when she is ready.

Aye I absolutely agree. Forcing pointless. Likewise, Growli will have to understand that if she posts stuff and people feel compelled (from feeling moved and identifying with her pain) to give their honest opinions, urging her to seek help before she destroys herself completely, she won't like it.

We actually don't know that Growli is an alcoholic. Sure she posts when intoxicated sometimes but that doesn't mean a lot. Misusing or abusing alcohol maybe, but she is 21 years old remember. So while behavior like this might not be the healthiest I wouldn't say it is as unusual as some people seem to think.

It's impossible to know what anyone else needs, especially on a forum like this where people can say anything without having it verified. I'm just sorry to other members with painful pasts are being triggered by the things posted and then bitten when trying to help.

From what I can tell, having read these threads for a year or more, trauma therapy isn't what's needed. Then again, I don't have the whole story.

If other people are triggered by posts, than that is their issue, not Growli's; they don't have to read them, nor do they need to respond and take it out on her.

And I see nothing narcissistic in wanting or needing support.

I'm curious - what do you think would be more fitting help?

Childhood sex abuse alone is always going to need sensitive and appropriate working through with a qualified person, in my book. Let alone the myriad of other stuff Growli is dealing with.

Yep - it is my issue. And I can respond as a human being with my own sh#t. I am also not a therapist. I'm guided by my own ethics, my own morals and what feels right to me (as we all make that choice for ourselves) and I will say what I believe to be right and what I believe needs to be said.

I see nothing narcissistic in wanting or needing support - rather in the method of how it is sought.

I just don't feel the whole story is being represented, which is the case for all threads, but particularly here where things never seem to add up.

As for others being responsible for coming here and being triggered...sure, but then again there are a lot of vulnerable people on this forum. I just don't like to see other people's emotions played on like that.

Let's just call me narcissistic and bluntly remind me what happened to me because that's productive and clearly not triggering for someone who is obviously trying to run away and forget that. Because I think everyone who knows my story and reads my posts can tell I try really hard to not remember that.

Yes, I know that plays into my fantasies. I hate admitting it. I don't want him to have that power anymore. Yeah, I did only run away from talking to men because I started having really bad flashbacks.

However, coming online with s host of problems that I don't want to acknowledge or think about and posting on a forum, desperately looking for support and not really knowing how to get it isn't narcissistic.

You said it yourself that you want to be dehumanized. If that is not being mistreated then I don't know what is. I also don't know how you imagine having serious trusting relationship without first getting professional help.



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I don't know if she is but she said herself she drinks pretty much daily. To the point of intoxication.

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I'm 21 years old and under 6ft (185cm) of snow and counting. Of course I'm drinking. That's kinda what we do on perpetual snow days.

Oh please. I live in Michigan. I know all about snow and I grew up and lived most of my life in Northern Europe. Lol Not everyone at 21 and in cold climate drinks. You have excuse for everything

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This isn't related to my excuses, but I'm from Michigan around Detroit. Stuff like this happens yearly in the UP and they handle it no problem. Boston isn't even close to being able to handle this. It's ridiculous.

That is SO not necessarily true. I went to college in upstate NY, and did not find myself drinking consistently alone in my room because there was a lot of snow in the ground. (And yes, there was A LOT). I did drink. With friends, on weekends, sometimes Thursday's. And not necessarily every weekend.

What are you protecting yourself from by making excuses?

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This is a psychotherapy forum, so about 95% of the people here are going to suggest therapy.

I'm in therapy. You guys just don't think LCM is qualified because you care more about the license than the feelings or the effectiveness.