How to prep for 2nd session

I had my first session yesterday. We covered my history up to the present. I assume the 2nd session might cover my current problems and hopes for therapy?

Any ideas for how I can prepare? I made a list of problems.

I also planned on making a list and I did write some stuff down, but I didn't use any of it. Usually I just started with the most concerning happening that came to mind and the conversation just naturally went on from there. When the conversation came to a stop, I found another thing and it went on from there as if it were the beginning of a session.

You should realize that the problems you think you need to address there are probably not the ones that you will be addressing. If you are like me, these problems are just the reaction of some deeper feelings and the way you subconsciously function. I don't know what is your diagnosis so I may be wrong.

I've started just taking in a 'top three' most important things that are pressing on my mind just as topics and let the session flow from there I find the less I prepare the better the sessions are.

I agree.

The sessions don't need to be structured. If you try to structure them, you're just trying to control them. This is not the thing you should be trying to do. Sessions need to be driven by emotions and situations you had in your life.

What I like to do is take in a short list of my issues this week, read off the topics, then put the list away. That's because I like to get them out there and heard. Then I can be present. Sometimes they come up later.

I guess this is the same thing Ellahmae said. I didn't read that closely enough.

I believe in having the appointment structured. The first one I see is total crap at it so I took the structure I negotiated with the second one and imposed it on the first. For me, the whole no structure don't control thing does not work. I get to control how it goes.

Being in control opens up the possibility of you consciously or subconsciously avoiding things you don't want to talk about.

I have no problem with that.

I find this discussion of being in control of sessions, and whether it's better to be structured or not, very interesting. I feel like maybe it is a case of "whatever works best for the individual", and maybe need to try out both styles.

My T says sessions are mine, and for me to control, and decide what we talk about. T sometimes makes suggestions and may steer in a certain direction, or ask why I'm avoiding a topic, but I'm never pushed to talk about something I'm avoiding. Ultimately, this means that the structure (or lack of) is mine to decide, even though one of the things we are working on is handling chaos and not being structured, organized and in control. While still be in control during sessions, so it doesn't completely overwhelm me.

Ever feel like therapy is an exercise in contradictions?

This is coming out sort of rambley - sorry, but maybe it will make sense to someone else.

The sessions are fully in my control (to my knowledge but in sure she sneaks direction in). I like to let my emotions guide me during the process so I can really head where I need to not where I want to. I say that lightly some days the topics on my list need more depth and work then just a casual discussion. Sometimes we don't get through one and the other two stay on as needed for the next session. So I guess it's has some structure, but I don't bullet point out what I want to speak about in the topic I bring up I just let it happen.

That probably made no sense at all but it's the best I could do right now. So hopefully it made sense.

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That completely made sense to me. I concour.

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If I'm understanding you correctly, your T is letting you find out what works best for you in terms of how your therapy sessions are structured. Like if organization or the lack thereof is one of your issues, then it's important that you find a comfortable setting in which to take that on. Is this right

My T is also letting me choose how I bring up things. I feel like a control freak but he doesn't seem to think so.

I'm not sure that it is even that I need to find my own way to what works. I get the impression that it's just the way he runs things; we own our own therapy experience. He is not an instructor or a leader or boss or authority in any way; he is a facilitator in our growth. It is my room, my safe place, somewhere I'm always in control. Or maybe it is because I experienced csa and bullying and a bunch of other crap that messed with my head, and took away my control, and now I'm dealing with the fall out, and need a safe place for that.

Ultimately I am in control, but T is helping actually slow me down, because I'm flying ahead so fast that im actually not in control or able to handle it yet.

Thanks, everybody. I didn't think about the control vs spontaneity. That gives me something to consider.

I see that a lot of the posts are about "you are in control" vs "T is in control". Just to be clear... when I wrote "in control", I meant complete planned control about the things you will talk about.

During my first 4 sessions the conversation went naturally... I knew where should I start, but I didn't know where it would lead me and it led me everywhere. The fifth session was a bit more prepared.

Sorry, I'm still trying to get over the fact you got your history out in one session.

This.

I'm still doing history 8 months later...

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You should know that there are no "quick fixes" to the list you come up with. The reason you are going there is because your behavior is not appropriate and it doesn't work. This has everything to do with the way you function as a person. The reason why you function like that is always related to the past. So yes, history will always be something you will discuss there.

I did not see where OP said she found her behavior to be inappropriate.
I did not go see a therapist because my behaviors were inappropriate.

I effing hate the word behavior, like it's a mental std and not a normal part of, you know, being human.

I'm not a planner when it comes to my therapy sessions. On occasion I go in with something specific in mind, but most of the time what we talk about just kind of happens very organically based on what comes up in my initial check in with him. I certainly don't go in with a list; at the most just one thing on my mind to start with because I've found one thing leads to another . . . and you know how that goes. We've never had a problem of just staring at each other with nothing to talk about -- that's for sure.

It makes me think of a dog that needs to go to training class.

I bring in a list sometimes of things I wish to discuss. Other times I have more of a mental list, but I always have stuff in mind that I want to discuss. It's not about control for me...it's about making the best use of time in therapy. The conversation still flows naturally between my Ts and I, so that is not an issue.
I do respect that others might get the most out of therapy without any planning, however.

If someone insults you and you in that moment feel desensitization and don't react to this insult, your response to the situation is not appropriate. It's a defense mechanism and there is nothing wrong with it, it just isn't the response you should be having.