I have been told by my tutors that I need to change therapists as u am too attached to current t. I am attached but not overly attached. I am so mad and upset about it and I feel they have been talking behind my back with my t. My t said she doesn't agree with this and would like to keep working with me. I am so mad because my tutors have no right to control me like this and make decisions for me. They don't even know me and after u spoke with them I cried all night. I am so upset, maybe this makes me overly attached.

[JaneC]

I am sorry you have to go through this, it sounds so incredibly frustrating and it is understandable you are feeling as you do.

I don't know if you are "too attached"......what does that look like anyway? I am not sure how it is that your tutors are able to dictate who you receive your therapy from? Especially as your therapist is of a differing opinion to them about the effectiveness of your relationship.

And..... if you are too attached, would it not make more sense to work this through with your current therapist, would there not be far greater learning in that??

I hope you can resolve this, and that you feel better soon, This does suck!

Why would your tutors have any say-so in your therapist? I'd say get new tutors or simply blow them off, particularly if your therapist doesn't agree.

[Rive.]

I agree. What has it got to do with them (tutors) anyway? Is seeing a T part of your curriculum or some sort of 'condition' or something?

Even if it were, I am surprised they'd be allowed to butt in like this. And how on earth would they even know anything about you being too attached or not?? Who is 'leaking' this info to these intrusive tutors?

Sounds like a breach of privacy and/or confidentiality. This is really weird...

See my therapist trained with this school and has started shadowing with them this year. I am wondering if it's more about her than about me. I am guessing they know her pretty well and suspect she is too attached

But how do they know this much detail about your therapy?

[ThisWayOut]

are you disclosing that kind of info to them? because if you are not initiating the conversations around your own therapy, I would see that as a breach of confidentiality. I know you had said that the tutor and your T are friends(?) or otherwise aqauinted, but that's a huge over-step if you are not the one asking for input around the whole situation.

why would they have say over your therapy?

[JustShakey]

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

See my therapist trained with this school and has started shadowing with them this year. I am wondering if it's more about her than about me. I am guessing they know her pretty well and suspect she is too attached

Bearing in mind some of the things you have posted before this seems likely - Like how she got upset when you didn't like that training that she recommended. It seems like she is trying to remake you in her own image in a way...
It may be for the best...

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Originally Posted by ThisWayOut

are you disclosing that kind of info to them? because if you are not initiating the conversations around your own therapy, I would see that as a breach of confidentiality. I know you had said that the tutor and your T are friends(?) or otherwise aqauinted, but that's a huge over-step if you are not the one asking for input around the whole situation.

why would they have say over your therapy?

I don't initiate contact with them about my own therapy. I feel controlled by them. I know that they want me to stop seeing her. Maybe I am not growing enough with her, who knows. I am so upset because she is the only therapist to ever have gotten me

[Favorite Jeans]

On the surface of things this sounds so completely ludicrous as to boggle the mind. There must be a piece of information missing somewhere or a hidden agenda? There is something bizarre and upsetting at play here. Insist that you get everything in writing from your program. Don't share any more about your therapy with them than you absolutely have to. I cannot see how your feelings about your therapist or your therapy are any of their business.

[growlycat]

Keep the T, get new tutors.

Why is it any of the tutors' business who you see for therapy?

[unaluna]

My view of the situation is, the tutors are more cbt or dbt oriented, and either they had healthier attachments growing up, or they are in denial. Anyway, they dont understand the process we have to go thru - to detach from the bad at one end AND attach to the good at the other end. And do a flying somersault in mid-air in between. Without a net. Ive had people cluck at me that i was doing therapy wrong, that i was too attached to my ts. Looking back on those times, i would say i really was not aware of the effect my family had on me. It was not my ts fault. There was a lot of damage i closed my eyes to.

That's s good point Hankster. From what my tutors have said they have had reasonably good attachments. How can they possibly understand. She asked me if I loved my t. Of course I do but not in the erotic transference way. I need a healthy attachment so that I can grow from it.
I wonder about their knowledge and ability to support me around these issues. They said they could be there if I wanted a shoulder to cry on . I don't want them only my t. I feel like they don't even know anything about attachments. They keep stopping me talking and asking me to feel. I can't feel anything only heartbreak. This will hurt me more than the original hurt because I am being forced into changing t

Originally Posted by Rive.

I agree. What has it got to do with them (tutors) anyway? Is seeing a T part of your curriculum or some sort of 'condition' or something?

Even if it were, I am surprised they'd be allowed to butt in like this. And how on earth would they even know anything about you being too attached or not?? Who is 'leaking' this info to these intrusive tutors?

Sounds like a breach of privacy and/or confidentiality. This is really weird...

I have to do therapy with a gestalt therapist and since they have trained all of the gestalt therapists they tell you who to see. As it happens I was seeing my t before starting my training. They only know what we tell them in our submitted journals about our therapy. I didn't really write that much about t, only we were doing some really deep work at the moment.

[Rive.]

But can they force you to stop seeing T? IF you are working well with T, if T is satisfied with progress et al. I find their comment re your attachment and their interference to be very weird.. It is really none of their business.

Is the attachment causing you any harm? If not, T (and you) should tell them to buzz off. I really don't get what right they have to comment on someone else's therapy.

What does your T say about it? Can T tell them to keep their collective noses away (i.e. tell them there is no attachment 'issue') and get them to back off?

[ThisWayOut]

there was another post somewhere about the conflict of interest in a program deciding/providing therapy for students... individul therapy is something a school program can suggest, even require, but there's a lot of issues around the people who evaluate you as a student therapist being the ones with say into your individual therapy and vise versa. This still seems liek a serious over-reach on the school's authority to me.

What about seeing 2 therapists? one to meet the school's requirement, and keep seeing current t?

this whole situation makes me very uncomfortable... sorry...