Why do I need a couch in therapy?

I know this may sound strange but I have to ask this. I went to my therapist for the first time last Monday and I guess I was a little expectant of certain things. One of which was a couch to lay on. I've seen many tv shows that portray a therapist room with a couch and the person would lay down on the couch. But when I entered the room I only saw 3 chairs as if there were going to be 3 individual people in the room. Each of which would talk about the problems on their own levels. I was very disappointed in this because I was hoping to lay on the couch and stare at the ceiling and talk. Am I ok, is this ok to feel? I don't know about what to do? Please help with my perplexing issue.

Yeah, not too many therapist use the "couch" anymore. Mine has a couch but I only sit on it. I think I would feel to vulnerable to lay down. You could call some other therapist office and just ask if they have a couch in the room. That would be the only way to make sure you need was met. I've had some that had one and several that didn't.

Thank you for the comment about the couch. I think I like to be somewhat vulnerable. All my childhood life I was vulnerable because I was forced to be but now I am in more control of what I talk about and who I talk about it with. I feel the need to be sometimes because it makes me a softer person and not likely to keep repressing the feelings in. I like to speak about my life because I can get safety and security from the responses. All I want is for people to like me for who I really am not for something I'm not.

What did your T say when you felt you would rather be on a couch? She might be able to arrange. After all it is no easy thing to speak openly and freely.

My T has two easy chairs - our relationship is a conversation is one between equals. I have no idea if this is how it is for other people.

Well mastadon, I feel that my therapist is the smart and knowledgeable. I feel something about being lower that her. Not in a bad way, but I humbles me and maybe makes me want to listen to her and I feel like I can open up. More comfortable that way I guess. I require a safe nurturing feeling, sitting up makes me feel differently than that. I just stared at the floor when I was there, I did speak openly but I was uptight about it. Thank you for understanding

The couch is more a tool of psychoanalysis from what I understand.

Not many therapists have them but my current one does. I use it sometimes but I switch around according to my mood that minute. I think they should have that as an option, personally. For me, at least, it sends a message that this really is a safe space, that enter here and the conventions of daily life don't count. That it really is a place where it's okay to be vulnerable. Like this a place not just for the adult side of me though that's welcome too. Or not so much that day. Last time I sat on the couch like I was sitting on the floor and alternating between looking at the complex picture on the wall and looking at T who was much closer from there. It worked really well. I wouldn't mind a sand tray occasionally, too. Thinking of assembling a personalized bag of my own props and using the couch as a sand tray sometime and seeing if it would help. I suspect the way it would help most is being given permission to do it.

This got long and off topic. I hope it isn't veering into hijacking.

I started therapy sitting up and talking. Now I prefer to lay down. I feel I can communicate more clearly and articulate myself better. I find different thoughts arise when I lay down vs. sitting up. I'm not flat out on my back I pull my knees up and squish myself in the corner of the back and seat cushions. I find it comforting now at first I felt very vulnerable and very awkward. I attribute the positive change to my growing relationship with my T. I find lying down does indeed benefit my therapy.

ManOfConstantSorrow, I haven't told her yet, we are still getting to know each other and I don't want her to send me to someone else who I can't relate to. I have abandonment issues as it is and I want to request anything until I understand the plan she wants to take to help me. Please read my post on hugging.

ragsnfeathers, not at all hijacking. I needed to feel that there are others out there who feel this way too. I am in need of understanding what I need in my life to get by and a couch would be nice but she doesn't have on and am afraid to ask for one and in my first post I fear to ask for a hug because I don't want to creep her out and transfer me to another therapist. There I go rambling again, sorry for that and thank you for the comments the insight is very helpful.

ellahmae, I know what you are meaning, it's hard to understand what will be said until you get comfortable. I want to feel vulnerable. That is the point. I need to feel that so I can open up and reach out to my therapist. I feel that when I reach the point that I can't do this anymore on my own then I will automatically reach out to my T. When I do I will get better, thank you for your comments and I am sorry for your mood and hope you feel better.

My T's office is a couple chairs and a couple desks with desk chairs. No couches. I am pretty confident that I could sit wherever I want in her office and it would be OK. Last session I set at her desk with my head down and eyes shut. That worked just fine for me.

Typically, I stare at the floor the entire session anyways. I dislike eye contact.

Just a suggestion if you think it's safe to ask. On a different thread here some people mentioned that they bring their own blanket, take off their shoes and curl up. If your T has a regular couch and not just armchairs, bringing your own blanket and lying on that couch might work.

There is nothing wrong with what you are wanting. The reality is that she does not have a couch. Is this a deal breaker for you? If it is, along with wanting touch in therapy it might be wise to shop around. it might be worth it to look for a therapist that has the couch, touch, etc. You've got to let her know in whatever way possible, pronto! It will be so much easier to break an attachment and heal after one or two sessions, compared to months or years down the road.

Good luck to you.

Yeah that's more of an orthodox psychoanalysis type of thing.

therapyworked4me, thanks for commenting, i feel that i need to talk to her about it. i don't want her to fear me or think something of me that i am not. i just want to get better and there are triggers for getting that.

As a few others have said, the couch is a stereotypical psychoanalysis thing. It allows for the therapist to be a blank slate as the client lays there, not looking at the therapist and baring their sole. Most therapy isn't really conducted in that manner.

My therapist has a seating arrangement with a couch, coffee table, and two chairs. When I first started with her, I sat on the couch, because it allowed me to have the coffee table between us. Now I sit in the chair because I prefer to be closer to her. My sessions are conversations and I like the fact that I can see my therapist and her reactions...and if I need something else to focus on, there are a million other things.

I guess, you'd have to decide if a lack of a couch is a deal breaker for you. You could also talk to the therapist about other ways to get that vulnerability in session that you are looking for.

I lay down but we converse and my T is no where near a blank slate ☺

Same here.

Same here.

My therapist has a sofa, meant for sitting on, but a person could lay down on it and look up at the ceiling if they wanted. I wonder how she would react to that.

I'm a firm believer in getting creative in shaping therapy to suit you. If the therapist isn't comfortable with what makes the client comfortable then the client needs to do a cost/benefit analysis. So far current T is not only fine with me doing this, but my philosophy around this has solidified because of current T's comfort level.