Couch 92 Found my shoe

Ah i doubt I have taken more than two pictures this year.

(just curling up on the corner of the couch with my blanket)

I need to tell someone sbout this feeling i had this afternoon. The feeling reminded me vaguely of my childhood, my body got cold, i felt i was being smothered, i felt like iwas going to die, my legs felt as if they were being held down.
,i felt faint. I think i will leave this here so it will remind me to take it to T. There were other faint feelings but i cant identify them

Well, I'm up...briefly, I hope,.... Hungry a little bit. Thank god for cottage cheese- my go-to protein source. I made a wonderful turkey-veg soup Thursday. Wish it kept me full longer.

Had a difficult session yesterday. Upsetting. We are talking about attachments. Last night I emailed her a lot of questions about my attachment issues. We also talked about the flashbacks I continue to have from the abusive psychiatrist events...and we talked about the trauma that arose from dealing with the "criminal justice system."

Later last night, I emailed her this:

"I don't think the flashbacks or intrusive memories will ever go away.

Do you think they will get better if I keep telling you about the bad memories over and over?

I want you to know everything..then I need the flashbacks and pain to go away.

How will they ever go away?"
-----------
Sorry for being so serious this early in the morning. You should see the email I sent her asking my questions about attachments! She is a dear sweet lady not to charge me for lengthy emails. I try to limit them, not to take advantage.

I'm all stirred up this morning. *sigh*

Me, today:

(Sorry SD)

Good morning, couch..

Shakey - have you asked your t if he can recommend a lawyer?

Morning... Tired this morning. Was up a few hours in the middle of the night. If it wasn't one kid it was the other.

Have you tried to see if an local law school or nearby law school has a legal clinic? At my university, our clinic represents people in divorce cases.
There is also this:AZ Domestic Violence which may lead to someone being able to point you to resources.
Free Legal Aid Arizona - Pro Bono Help
And the AZ bar
http://www.azbar.org/media/121277/ar...s_co_edits.pdf

and http://www.azbar.org/workingwithlawy...-whatshouldido

And this one gives numbers to places that actually list divorce in their description:
WomensLaw.org | Arizona: Legal Assistance

Thanks Stopdog.
I talked to a law school clinic - they referred me to an organization that offers classes and another one that offers limited legal advice. I've already talked to one of their lawyers. She basically told me that lots of people represent themselves in family court and that I'd be fine.
There's a lot of organizations offering classes. I figure that's a good place to start at least.
By the way, what exactly does it mean when somebody tells you they can't give you legal advice? I used to think it meant stop asking me questions but I'm thinking I'm wrong on that...

Not much point. I can't afford to pay, unless I quit seeing him and even then it would have to be discount bargain basement rate. And I know more than he does about the organizations offering help.

I will not kill lecture or bug my child .I will not do it

. . . because he's no longer a child and has to live and learn on his own at this point . . .

(It's hard letting them be the adults they have become and learn to live with their own mistakes. Hard to let that go, but we have to do it and remember that they are their own beings.)

he calls me because he is on the mass pike with a flat tire coming to some thing around here . he has not called me in weeks because of the argument we had and now he calls because he needs something .

Give him the number of a towing company? Some states have emergency assistance numbers on the back of their driver's license? Or, help him out? It is okay that he call when he needs help. And it's okay to respond. The role as parent at this point is to step back and be there when they need help, but how you provide that help is completely up to you. In your earlier post you said you would not lecture or bug him. Was that about the flat tire? I'm not sure why a flat tire would require a lecture. That, to me, would be a time to assist in some way. Or was the lecturing about not calling unless he needs something? Hate to tell you, but that is often the nature of boys. I wouldn't say that is particularly unique to your son. Daughters tend to be more attentive and communicative (generally); sons tend to not even think about calling unless there is a purpose for doing so (generally).

Im just asking cuz I didnt think my t could recommend an accountant. I didnt think i was allowed to ask for that particular kind of help, only general psychological. Of course that was a long time ago. Sometimes they surprise you and can be actually really helpful, but you have to ask them.

about not calling unless he needs something .about our argument . I gave him the AAA number so his girl he has with her can use her AAA. and that was it . he was heading to some college thing about legalizing pot and crap like that . I said nothing but said call if he needs help and I hope his day gets better

It means that they can't answer you because your questions are calling for legal advice. It is not so much that a lawyer would not want to answer it but the code does not let us give legal advice to people not our client and if they are not lawyers - they can't answer legal questions or give advice because of the law too.

For what it is worth, I would think he is also figuring out the relationship with you (how does an adult child interact with a parent) and in making decisions and choices and stuff he has not dealt with due to the military. Just because he calls, does not mean you have to fix it. Discuss his options with him and let him choose and let him do them is one way it could be done.
I think it is actually a good thing he reached out to you and that you did not lecture or kill and not the third thing either. Yea.

I would be completely flabbergasted should such event occur. And of course, I just don't believe it would happen with the ones I see. I don't know anything where I would need them to be helpful so I can't see it coming up.

This happened to me once in the early 1980's. Maybe its like Haileys Comet

I don't want them giving me advice even in the extremely unlikely case it could be useful.

Well I'm a dumbass who went and got herself sunburned today. I didn't expect to get burned in April, but there weren't enough leaves on the trees to provide shade. Might as well just carry around a tube of sunblock at all times for the next several months.

I got a random PM from a user I don't know telling me they were leaving the forum. I'm thinking maybe I was accidentally added because I don't recognize the PM name :-/

Hmm, it was the first thing the law clinic person said to me: I can't give you legal advice, do you have any questions? Um, I'm calling you because I need legal advice...
My T says it too, despite giving out advice by the yard. It gets on my nerves when he says it because I need him to be a T, not a lawyer. I talk to him about legal stuff because I'm terrified of it and I need help managing my fear. And because it's unavoidable.

Why is that? I understand not wanting to work for free (I would not ask my MD friends for medical advice either, even though health care doesn't cost me anything, and I wouldn't ask the professional authors I know to write me a story for free) but why does the code (of ethics, I presume?) prohibit it?

I'm guessing because it could cause a huge ungainly mess if you go into court and say something along the lines of so-in-so told me xyz. Boundaries for lawyers. Court is messy. It can get real ugly real fast.