[iheartjacques]

Today's session wasn't much fun.
He said I had some borderline traits, but other personality positive traits that compensate for them. So he wouldn't say I had BPD. But I do have I be conflicts which has led to my lifelong depression and anxiety.
Guess I'd like to know how do you cope with that piece of news without jumping out the window, and how did you improve it?
He says I can't get rid of it, it's part of my psyche, but I can learn to manage it and live a great life. Ha.

[iheartjacques]

Possible trigger:

Plus talking about when I was raped at 25 doesn't help. It destroyed what I remember of feeling good about myself back then. I'm only just growing my hair out again and dressing nicely again but scared of the increased male attention

[iheartjacques]

Gah how do I do the trigger thing??

[JustShakey]

(((IHeartjacques)))
I honestly think everyone exhibits borderline traits at times, particularly under pressure. I know I do...
They only become a problem when you refuse to own them.

I was told by a qauck I had bpd and to wondered at the hopelessness of my life.
Once I begun seeing this T she wouldn't talk labels. Said we can all find traits of something or other within ourselves.
So, we didn't focus on a negative.
But the psyche can have a new experiences with a skilled T which than changes your inner realm.
I don't think your T is very positive nor knowledgeable if that's his conclusion.

[iheartjacques]

I don't even know what borderline traits are. He said mine were the low-self esteem, not thinking I'm good enough, the self-harm and the self-sabotage. I thought BPD was extreme stuff like spending all the money, dumping he husband and disappearing, etc

[growlycat]

Someday BPD will be reclassified along w/ptsd. We are still in the dark ages of mental health. I really think that BPD and said "traits" will be seen in a new light someday. Not soon enough though.

Remember when it was all called a "nervous breakdown", and long before that "hysteria"?
BPD will be just as meaningless. I hope, in my lifetime. I know I have "traits" too.

[iheartjacques]

He said he wouldn't say I had BPD. Just some traits that have been offset by positive character qualities. Like I actually care for my kids, lots of people, have learn stability and consistency, and making some good decisions.

[iheartjacques]

Maybe I should just treat it like yin/yang?

[SoupDragon]

To me this shows how very unhelpful labels can be. We can all have traits of everything.

[growlycat]

Or maybe saying you are BPD is like saying you are a Libra. Just a meaningless list of traits thrown together to sort-of describe your struggles.

You are more valuable than that!

[Partless]

iheartjacques, Reading your post just reminds me of how much I dislike all the stigma surrounding BPD. My mom has borderline traits and the only thing she's learned from TV and various other sources is that therapists hate people with BPD, that it's incurable, that it's permanent....

Whoever is spreading all this misinformation, great job! That surely makes it more likely for people with borderline traits to get help or feel normal or hopeful.

[ScarletPimpernel]

No offense, I feel irritated when people w/o BPD minimize BPD. It's like telling some with depression they're not suffering from depression. Or someone with PTSD that they have symptoms that all people who have suffered aome sort of trauma have.

I admit there's a lot of stigmatism, misunderstanding, and misdiagnosing of BPD. But even comments here are stigmatizing BPD.

BPD is caused by genetics and environment. One is born with an emotional sensitivity. That coupled with childhood trauma causes one to be emotionally delayed. That's the basics of BPD. The symptoms overlap with other disorders, and often mimic teenage behavior. It does improve by simply living your life. Managing co-disorders with medication and seeking therapy only aids in emotional development.

So when someone has borderline "traits", it means you're growing emotionally out of some of the traits. Almost all people with BPD graduate to traits.

Just please take into consideration that when you minimize the diagnosis of BPD, you're also minimizing people who suffer from it.

Originally Posted by iheartjacques

I don't even know what borderline traits are. He said mine were the low-self esteem, not thinking I'm good enough, the self-harm and the self-sabotage. I thought BPD was extreme stuff like spending all the money, dumping he husband and disappearing, etc

That's just normal life loool

[Partless]

ScarletPimpernel, who are you addressing?

[growlycat]

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

No offense, I feel irritated when people w/o BPD minimize BPD. It's like telling some with depression they're not suffering from depression. Or someone with PTSD that they have symptoms that all people who have suffered aome sort of trauma have.

I admit there's a lot of stigmatism, misunderstanding, and misdiagnosing of BPD. But even comments here are stigmatizing BPD.

BPD is caused by genetics and environment. One is born with an emotional sensitivity. That coupled with childhood trauma causes one to be emotionally delayed. That's the basics of BPD. The symptoms overlap with other disorders, and often mimic teenage behavior. It does improve by simply living your life. Managing co-disorders with medication and seeking therapy only aids in emotional development.

So when someone has borderline "traits", it means you're growing emotionally out of some of the traits. Almost all people with BPD graduate to traits.

Just please take into consideration that when you minimize the diagnosis of BPD, you're also minimizing people who suffer from it.

I want to be clear that I did not mean to minimize the illness, whatever it will be called someday.

My only point is that it is believed to be caused by both genetics and environment. Nothing has been proven. Even treatment is throwing darts by flashlight.

In my earlier years I was diagnosed as BPD and it is horribly horribly painful and I don't wish it on anyone.

[Sinking Feeling]

It's very possible to have a little of all the cluster B personality disorders

[iheartjacques]

Thank you for the responses everyone. For some reason I was quite shocked and burst into tears. And wanted to jump out a window. But if people can learn to manage it and develop coping skills, that gives me hope.

[Sinking Feeling]

Sadly there is always some who has it worse. Not sure how that is suppose to make us feel better but it is the truth. I have bipolar and a number of cluster B personality disorder traits on top of severe anxiety and paranoia. You do the best u can thats all.

[ScarletPimpernel]

Originally Posted by Partless

ScarletPimpernel, who are you addressing?

I was triggered by a post, but mine is just in general. I don't want to call anyone out, but it was directed towards people who say everyone has borderline traits. It just bothers me. Just because you have experienced depression symptoms doesn't mean you know what it's like to suffer from depression.

But no, that was not directed towards you. Or growly.

[Partless]

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

I was triggered by a post, but mine is just in general. I don't want to call anyone out, but it was directed towards people who say everyone has borderline traits. It just bothers me. Just because you have experienced depression symptoms doesn't mean you know what it's like to suffer from depression.

But no, that was not directed towards you. Or growly.

Oh okay. Your post was right after mine and I thought something about my post had upset you. I have struggled with my own reaction towards BPD and borderline traits because of my mom most likely having the traits (perhaps met the criteria for a full diagnosis at some point also) and also at one point a therapist had told me I might have some traits, which had upset me at the time.

So in my struggles with this label, I have at times minimized it though more often I've done the exact opposite, see it as something bigger than life, something that dominates how I feel about mom, my family, my past, etc, almost as if it's a physical presence. I have had some difficulties with my therapists trying to come to terms with it and see it for what it is, not bigger nor smaller.

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

No offense, I feel irritated when people w/o BPD minimize BPD. It's like telling some with depression they're not suffering from depression. Or someone with PTSD that they have symptoms that all people who have suffered aome sort of trauma have.

I admit there's a lot of stigmatism, misunderstanding, and misdiagnosing of BPD. But even comments here are stigmatizing BPD.

BPD is caused by genetics and environment. One is born with an emotional sensitivity. That coupled with childhood trauma causes one to be emotionally delayed. That's the basics of BPD. The symptoms overlap with other disorders, and often mimic teenage behavior. It does improve by simply living your life. Managing co-disorders with medication and seeking therapy only aids in emotional development.

So when someone has borderline "traits", it means you're growing emotionally out of some of the traits. Almost all people with BPD graduate to traits.

Just please take into consideration that when you minimize the diagnosis of BPD, you're also minimizing people who suffer from it.

Or you are reading it in that way?

[rainbow8]

I must be lucky because I've been diagnosed with BPD by at least 4 Ts but the diagnosis hasn't caused me any trouble. I don't exhibit any of the extreme behaviors you listed, ihj. My Ts never talked much about it though I realized there is a stigma about having this diagnosis. One T used to sometimes generalize that "borderlines do this", borderlines do that, and she wouldn't hug me just on the basis of my diagnosis. The other 4 Ts didn't use the term at all, except to confirm that they agreed. My current T says she hates labels. She did agree DBT would be good for me, but so what? I don't think about my diagnosis much. You're not a diagnosis! You're YOU.

[JustShakey]

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

I was triggered by a post, but mine is just in general. I don't want to call anyone out, but it was directed towards people who say everyone has borderline traits. It just bothers me. Just because you have experienced depression symptoms doesn't mean you know what it's like to suffer from depression.


But no, that was not directed towards you. Or growly.

Maybe I should rephrase what I said - everyone exhibits borderline-like traits at times. Though I wouldn't call it that in real life. I'd say they were under stress or having a bad day. I think it's pretty normal to regress a bit under pressure. Though I see why calling that borderline-like is offensive. (Sorry Scarlet) All the more reason why Ts and mental health professionals should be uber-careful when they throw around phrases like that.

Btw, I really admire you for your acceptance of your diagnosis and how hard you work. I can relate to Iheartjacques when she says she wants to jump out of a window - just runaway get-it-out-get-it-out kind of feeling. I don't think I would handle being told something like that well...

[msxyz]

How nice to hear that you have traits that compensate for them

I didn't know that mood instability or feelings of emptiness make someone a bad person.