[WinterRose]

Just curious. Have you ever met your therapist in real life - on the street - outside of a session? What was it like?

I have a few times - we live in the same town.

First early on in my therapy she was at a wedding reception for a mutual friend. At that time it was weird and I didn't quite recognize her at first. It took me by surprise. I barely remember this. She remembered it though and found it a useful opportunity to see me in a social setting. (ouch)

Once I saw her at the gym. That was weird too - I mean what do you say? What can you talk about?

Then just last week, I was at the library reading on the lawn and I saw her drive up. This time I saw her first and waved her down. It was much more natural this time and we chatted briefly about why I was waiting there and what she was looking for. Today in session she said it was pleasant to see me at the library. (It happened that it was a good day for me that day.)

Anyone else have a story?

[DePressMe]

My first therapsit was a professor at the college I attended--it was really big so I only ran into a couple times. The first time I had my head down and was in nowhere land. She said she called my name out, but I did not hear her. I only noticed she was right beside me when she grabbed my arm and asked if I was okay. I had told her I was having problems "staying present, in the moment" and she got to see it first hand. Yeah, it was a little embarrassing.

I have seen my therapist like once outside an official therapy session, but it was sort of hard and troublesome to see her....because I didn't know how to react...because I usually miss her a lot when I'm away from her. And missing her and also not knowing how to react, just makes it all difficult and strange.

[withit]

I"ve ran into my t several times over the years, and every time we did I just smiled and said hi. I'm not into making even small talk with my t outside of sessions.

This has never happened to me. Besides, like I told T-- he lives in the walls of the consultation center and only comes out to meet with me.

I have, however, run into my own clients from my agency, around the city. The rule of therapy is that if a therapist sees a client in public, the therapist is under obligation not to acknowledge the client unless the client acknowledges the therapist first. The therapist should never take the first step in acknowledging the client.

My experiences in running into clients has been quiet funny because they are always more than eager to jump up and yell HELLO!!!

[sunrise]

I ran into my first counselor once at the bookstore. I had no serious attachment to her, but we had a pleasant working relationship. I was browsing through a book at a table and she appeared with a store clerk who was helping her find a book on skiing, which apparently was not where it was supposed to be. She was getting kind of argumentative with the clerk. It was weird to see her not handling this situation that well. We did say hi when we first saw each other, then I moved away with my book to another part of the store because I didn't want to keep listening to her conversation with the clerk. Then in my new location, here she comes again with the clerk to look for her skiing book on a different shelf. AWKWARD.

I have never seen my current therapist outside of his office (except in my dreams). I would freak if I did.

pinksoil, that's interesting what you wrote about how the therapist is not supposed to acknowledge the client first. I think I've heard that before. Therapy is full of these interesting little rules, isn't it? I can't imagine not acknowledging my therapist, but maybe if a person was with friends and didn't want them to know they were seeing a therapist for mental health issues, they would not want to talk to their T.

[Perna]

I always had trouble at first when my T and I would get to the office building (large downtown office building) and have to ride the elevator up together! :-)

I was helping with a book sale at the library and invited/told her about it and she showed up when I was working there. I was with my good friend/"mentor" and that felt awkward asking her what she thought of my T :-)

When T forgot her keys to the office once and we had to meet somewhere else and ended up in a cafe, that was weird/awkward but okay; was harder the next week in the office discussing it!

true true pink that rule applies here

my psychiatrist works for the same health service as i do
he is based at the main hospital and everytime i have to go there for my own work purposes and walk past his office (bcos i also work in psych) was weird to say the least let alone talkin to him about other clients..argh

my psychologist ive seen once outside T session i didnt acknowledge her at all
but felt like she was watchin me like a hawk watches its prey just noting in her mind everything i did to use it later in a T session...

i hated that feeling and hope to hell i never see her outside T again

but thats just me

[lauren_helene]

I have not seen my therapist anywhere outside of our session. I have seen his office assistant at the coffee shop several times. I work very close to their office so it's bound to happen.

We always say hi and minor chit chat. I wish I did run into one or both of them. I can tell we could sit and laugh for hours...

I think most of you know my stance on this. I don't like that the option has been decided for us. I do see the point of it. I can see how it could be abused.

But I also think that adults, who know their limits, can make those decisions. It probably shouldn't happen until therapy either ends or is something you do as follow up a few times a year.

I think the whole industry is so freaked about lawsuits and some bad therapists that the decision has been taken from all of us.

Okay, hopping off the soapbox!

[jbug]

When I was in college I saw my T at the library...I had gone to the library at the divinity school to find a book there and he was there. I went up and said hi and he asked me if there was anything wrong and I said no I just wanted to say hi.

I could have gone to my current T's kids soccer tournament last weekend cuz Steve invited me he told me it would be good for me to get out of the house but I really didn't want to go see my T's kids play soccer.

Jbug

I ran into my first P-doc at Christmas time in Macy's. She stopped me and said "Hi Petunia!" all cheery and stuff. I smiled and said "If you're here picking out my gift, it's ok. I won't look." It kinda eased the awkwardness.

I run into T all the time.

Met her significant other once.

I guess because we've been "together" for so long it's no biggie anymore, but the first few times I hid.

[sunrise]

Earlier in therapy, I used to have fantasies of running into my T while I was out somewhere with my husband. Like at a restaurant or something. And I would introduce my husband to him. I guess this tells me something.

I also used to have fantasies that I would be out walking on the sidewalk and would run into my first counselor and be talking to her, and then who should come walking along, but my current therapist. And I would introduce them to each other. Bizarre. I don't have that fantasy anymore.

Makes me wonder what my current fantasies are? Sometimes I don't even know until they are well past. My submerged fantasy life.

[Lemon]

Even though it makes me completely anxious to think about it, I fantasize about running into my T all the time. In my fantasies I run into her in places that I think my T would enjoy so I'm sure this has something to do with me wanting my T to think I'm interesting, intellegent, and have the same interests as she does (Ah! that's so embarressing to admit!)

I'd also just like to see what she's like without her T 'hat' on. She's always so composed and calm in our therapy sessions (cause I need that) but I'd really like to see her in her natural suroundings!

[jacq10]

My first T that i had during High School and I were really close, and i would see her around campus (and i also worked with her in the Peer Counsellor program - kind of ironic eh?). Anyways, this year i've seen her a couple times when i've been able to go back and visit some important people there still at the school ... and on Thanksgiving weekend i was staying with a friend who lived near there, and i was able to meet up with her at a park .. her husband and children were there too, and can i just say that it was the most amazing thing ever. I mean her and I were really close before but the fact that she let me be part of her "family" time meant more than words could ever express. She truly is one special person and i feel so special to be included in that part of her life. Made me feel really good .... and i'll never ever forget that.

[sidony]

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sunrise said:
Earlier in therapy, I used to have fantasies of running into my T while I was out somewhere with my husband. Like at a restaurant or something.

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I pretty much have these fantasies all the time. And of course I imagine he sees me looking like the cool, fascinating, interesting, happy individual I want to be....



Good to know it's a typical therapy-relationship fantasy......

Sidony

[Perna]

I actually use to look for my T, even in unlikely places. She lives in a different state from mine and when I went through that state, I'd look for her (and when I was across country or in other parts of the world on vacation I'd look for her :-)

[Sherryanne]

I see my therapist outside therapy more than most people ever will. I actually hang out at her office when I dont have therapy. Been to her home, she's been to mine. I know her kids, played with them, gone with her to pick up her kids. Sometimes when her secretary is sick I will come and fill in. Spent my summer at her office filing and readin journals (learning about psychology). I will also go out with her if she has to do a presentation or workshop. One of her other clients thought I was her sister once. LOL.

At first she was worried about that type of relationship, but it works. She really is my friend and when I get my PHd in psychology we're gonna work together. Or so the plan goes.

I think its different for everyone and it can turn into a disaster but I dont know, Im happy the way it is. Mostly cause she was my first real friend in life and has taught me so much in and out of therapy.

The only downside is if I do something while im with her and she picks up on it. We'll definately be discussin it in therapy. LOL. So yeh that can be a pain. But our relationship has extended to way more than a therapist/ client one and I am comfortable with that.

[lauren_helene]

Hi Sherryanne

How long have you been seeing her? I do not know what issues you are working on and I don't need to but having the friendship now rather than after therapy is done might impede your process.

As you said, when she sees you in between sessions, she makes an issue out of something you said or did at the next session...that seems like this might hurt you in the future. You might start seeing her as a friend and not a respected therapist.

Just some friendly thoughts...

I agree with almeda24fan, Sherryanne.

You mentioned in your post in the PTSD Forum,

"I need better professional help, I need a lot. every day is a struggle and right now I just no longer know what to do."

This tells me your therapist might not be helping you by being your friend. Maybe you need to think about seeing someone else? That way you can remain friends and get the help you need.

And again, like almeda said "Just some friendly thoughts..."

Take care,

Petunia

Interesting how some people have fantasies of running into their Ts outside of therapy.

Personally, I would die. Sometimes I will be out and see a guy who looks like my T and flip out thinking it really is him.

I am obsessed with not having anything that might interfere with the uniqueness of the therapeutic situation, no matter how small. I am not ready, at this point, to admit that my T has an actual life outside of our sessions together. I come from the stance that my T is a blank slate-- and I wouldn't want anything to complicate that situation.

[jbug]

I think my T is trying to set up situations where he will run into me. I know he thinks I isolate too much and even though I'm here at my parents house I know its not really being around people. Anyway he left a message on my answering machine yesterday in response to a call I had made to him and he told me about the dogwood festival this weekend in a neighboring town and told me he would be there. I didn't go because I didn't want to go by myself and knew I'd want to spend money if I went and don't want to do that either.

Jbug

[bipolar_bear]

destinydell how funny

[Rapunzel]

Two of my past therapists came to my house. They both worked with my husband, one of them working at my husband's office 2 or 3 days per week. But the reason the first came to my house was to give me advice on decorating. Something felt wrong about that, and I don't think it was appropriate. I heard a couple of years later that he got his license suspended for having an affair with a client. The other one came over because he was good friends with my husband, and it was social. He knew my kids and took us out to dinner sometimes. I wasn't doing much real work in therapy then though. We continued socializing with him after I stopped seeing him for therapy, until I had a bad relapse and went back to therapy, and it was more intense. Then it became more awkward to see him socially. I went on a hike with him and my husband and someone else from the office once, and I climbed up on a rock, and T offerred me a hand to climb down, and I couldn't take his hand and jumped down instead. It was wierd.

My current T, I probably will never see out of the office since she lives so far away. But sometimes she travels near my area, and I am so tempted to go where she is supposed to be, and look for her. I don't know what I would say if I did see her though. Last week I met T's sister, who looks and sounds very much like her. T's sister is the director of clinical training at the university I want to apply to, and I had never met her before. Neither did she know anything about me. But I wanted to ask her for a hug, and I was nervous talking to her.

[MissCharlotte]

I have never seen my T outside of therapy but early on, I found out that he sends his kids to the same school my son graduated from. I was happy to hear this because I felt like we shared a common philosophy. Recently I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in quite a while. We were catching up and I mentioned that I was working with a therapist. She asked who and I gave his name. She said she knew him in the context of her ex-husband who is also a T. I didn't like that she knew him and was upset that I told her I was in therapy. I don't want to have any personal second-hand information because I am afraid it will upset my therapy.