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  #76  
Old Jul 12, 2015, 11:10 PM
Bill3 Bill3 is offline
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I'm so sorry that you can't get your regular support right when you most need it. I do hope that you can find other support while T is unavailable.


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  #77  
Old Jul 12, 2015, 11:12 PM
Mully Mully is offline
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I am sorry you are having to deal with all of this right now on top of everything else. I hope everything works out for you and your T and that she is back in the office soon for you.
  #78  
Old Jul 13, 2015, 04:12 AM
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unaluna unaluna is online now
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Not that it makes it any better, but this kinda explains why shes been so unavailable recently? Still i wish she had said something, rather than just withdrawing and pretending that things were normal. They certainly werent normal for you, and now youre left scrambling, and its almost august - good luck finding anyone in august. Im kinda mad for you that she wasnt more forthright.
  #79  
Old Jul 13, 2015, 04:58 AM
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growlycat growlycat is offline
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I really really hope that she is ok. Does she have anyone covering that you can talk to?
  #80  
Old Jul 13, 2015, 06:45 AM
Wits End ! Wits End ! is offline
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Its always better to have a lovely caring kind nature like yours than be a uncaring,unfeeling ignorant alien. Don't let others behaviour affect your personal qualities. The qualities you crave off others shows how caring and kind you are and they are qualities few and far between. Masses of aliens and few humans and your certainly human.
  #81  
Old Jul 13, 2015, 10:30 AM
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eeyorestail eeyorestail is offline
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It's unfortunate that she is ill, but it's her responsibility to make sure you and her other clients get what you need while she is unable to keep a regular schedule. I wonder if you could ask her about a back-up or sub.

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Thanks for this!
LonesomeTonight, scorpiosis37
  #82  
Old Jul 14, 2015, 01:35 PM
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scorpiosis37 scorpiosis37 is offline
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Update: I saw her today and she told me she might have cancer. She is waiting for the official results. She doesn't know if she will have to take a long leave or what the outcome might be. She said she will let me know when she finds out. I'm so worried about her! I held it together in session, but I cried as soon as I left. She also told me that I'm the first client she thought about when she found out she might have cancer, and I'm the only client she's told about it. She said I'm also the only client who asked her about how she was doing and showed genuine concern for her (she had to cancel all appointments last week while in the hospital). She said she has already been thinking about what will happen if she has to take an extended leave. She said if she can't be my T anymore, she's already been thinking about if/how she can still see me in some capacity. She has been talking to some kind of supervisor/consultant, who is telling her not to say anything to clients yet-- but I'm really glad she was honest with me anyway. I love her and I can't bear the thought of her having cancer or the thought of not being able to see her. I don't want to see another T. She's been my T for over 5 years and eventhough she is "just" my T, she's also the closest thing I've ever had to a mom. I know that she isn't my family, but it feels like she is. She feels that way about me also. I'm totally devastated. I'm really, really hoping that her test results turn out better than expected, but it really doesn't look good. I could tell that she was scared when she was telling me about it and she didn't look good.
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Bill3, Depletion, eeyorestail, growlycat, healed84, iheartjacques, junkDNA, JustShakey, LonesomeTonight, rainbow8, ruiner, taylor43, unaluna
Thanks for this!
Bill3, eeyorestail, growlycat
  #83  
Old Jul 14, 2015, 04:43 PM
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Leah123 Leah123 is offline
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I'm so terribly sorry to hear it. Perhaps she'll be able to stay in your life and you'll also get the support of a new therapist who can be there for you 110%.

My very best wishes for her health- I am thinking about how much more treatable and even curable cancer is than it has ever been and hoping if she does have it, she can beat it. I lost one relative to cancer, my gramma (maternal), but two (aunt and paternal gramma) beat it. My therapist also beat cancer.
Thanks for this!
scorpiosis37
  #84  
Old Jul 14, 2015, 05:24 PM
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LonesomeTonight LonesomeTonight is offline
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So sorry to hear that...hopefully it will turn out she doesn't have cancer or that it will be at an early stage and easy to treat. It's really telling that she talked to you first--she obviously really cares about you and wants to be sure you're taken care of. Hope she'll still be able to continue seeing you!
Thanks for this!
scorpiosis37
  #85  
Old Jul 14, 2015, 07:55 PM
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growlycat growlycat is offline
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I am so hoping they caught this early and that she will be ok. She must really have a strong bond with you to share that info. I am really sorry to hear this.
Thanks for this!
scorpiosis37
  #86  
Old Jul 14, 2015, 08:00 PM
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unaluna unaluna is online now
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What they said.
Thanks for this!
scorpiosis37
  #87  
Old Jul 16, 2015, 06:23 AM
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iheartjacques iheartjacques is offline
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I hope she will be okay, and I hope you can have another T just to share the heavy stuff with.
  #88  
Old Jul 16, 2015, 01:33 PM
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divine1966 divine1966 is offline
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I hope she will be ok. Medicine is so advanced now. My mom has stage 3 colon cancer that spread but she is doing well going through chemo and she only took short leave for surgery and recovery and now she only takes one day every other week for chemo . She works. So many things are treatable

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  #89  
Old Jul 16, 2015, 03:13 PM
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eeyorestail eeyorestail is offline
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Another wish that your T is okay. It sounds like you two have a good relationship.

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  #90  
Old Jul 16, 2015, 03:54 PM
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I'm so sorry to hear this scary news, Scorpiosis. From what you've posted here, I can tell how close you are to your therapist and it sounds as though she is so wonderfully aware and giving of her own love and attention. I hope that the test results come back with some more positive news over the next couple of days, but if not, as another poster said, there has been a lot of gains in treatment of cancer in the last ten years and hopefully they've discovered things early and she'll recover over a period of time. Take care.
  #91  
Old Jul 16, 2015, 04:42 PM
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Gavinandnikki Gavinandnikki is offline
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Oh, I would have been devastated if my therapist developed cancer while I was in therapy. Yes, totally selfish, I know.

Hope you are able to continue your work with her and be comfortable.
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  #92  
Old Jul 16, 2015, 10:24 PM
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scorpiosis37 scorpiosis37 is offline
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She has probably gotten the results back by now, but she said her plan is to tell me during session next week- unless the results prevent her from making it to session, in which case she will tell me via text. But, from our conversation this week, it sounds like she is fairly sure that she has cervical cancer. Of course, I hope she gets good news that it is something much less serious-- but I'm preparing for that scenario. I even researched it so I'll have an idea of what to expect (and won't have to bother her with questions) when she tells me about her test results next week.

Up until our session this week, she had been kind of "off." I had not been feeling very connected to her or very supported by her, especially with respect to the assault I suffered last month. But after learning what SHE had been going through-- and hearing her talk about how much she had been thinking about me and how her diagnosis will affect our relationship, I suddenly felt very close to her again. Now that I know why she has been "off," I certainly don't blame her. While I wish we had been talking about anything else, the fact that I was the only client she shared this with--and she even took off her jacket to show me her IV scars-- made me feel like IS invested in her relationship with me. In fact, she had me kneel down next to her chair so she could show me the scars (and they were pretty bad). I told her I wanted to hug her but I didn't want to hurt her (given the bruises), and she told me I was sweet and pulled me in, and we ended up hugging for a long time. That was the closest I've felt to her in a while. I told her how much I cared about her and how much I would be sending her good energy while she waits for the results, and said she could really FEEL my caring and actually seemed moved by it. I didn't think I had said anything different from what her friends/colleagues must be saying to her, but she actually said I was being particularly caring and considerate. One never really knows what the "right" thing to say is when it comes to things like this, so I'm really glad that I did okay and my caring shone through. Because I really do care about her! Like I tell her all the time, she's one of "my people."

Given what she's going through, I'm much more concerned about her than I am about what I'm dealing with in my own life. Honestly, what I need right now isn't even therapy itself or an outlet to talk about my stuff-- it's knowing that the relationship I have with my T is real and that it's going to last, even if she does have to take some time off. That she still cares and that she'll be around, in some capacity, even if it's not always weekly sessions. I also hope that, if she has to take an extended leave, I can still have some communication with her and at least see her long enough to drop off some "get well" flowers or something. It's okay if she can't be the T who spends an hour listening to all of my stuff, but I don't want to lose the relationship or the bond that I have with her. I've had other therapists in the past, and I might have other therapists in the future-- but I'll never have another T-client bond like I have with her. It's special. She has said so, too.

At this point, I'm not interested in seeing another T even as an addition to my current T. It would only make me more sad to be in a strange room, with a strange T, wishing I was with my "real" T. I also don't know yet if/when my T is taking time off, or how severely her illness is going to affect our work together. Honestly, the biggest thing on my mind right now isn't even my own stuff-- it's my T. All I want is for her to be okay. If I can still have my relationship with her, then everything else in my life will be okay. I can deal with my own stuff. I just want to know that my T is going to be okay. I love her and I need her-- and so do her kids, friends, etc.

I've spent much of the last few days crying, but I'm also trying to be strong-- partially for her-- and get my own work done. I want to be productive and keep my spirits up so, when she asks how my week was, I can honestly tell her that I was fine and I got a lot done. I mean, if she's still at work this week even though she's waiting on these test results, what possible excuse could I have for not being productive on my work?! I'd like to be able to tell her that I kicked *** this week, I'm doing great, and she doesn't have to worry about me. I feel like the kindest thing I can do for her is to take care of myself so she doesn't have to, and she can conserve her energy.
Hugs from:
Bill3, growlycat, LonesomeTonight, rainbow8, unaluna
Thanks for this!
divine1966, growlycat, LonesomeTonight, unaluna
  #93  
Old Jul 17, 2015, 11:21 AM
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divine1966 divine1966 is offline
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I hope she will be all right. I have so much trust in modern medicine

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  #94  
Old Jul 17, 2015, 11:31 AM
Anonymous50005
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My own sister's illness had a way of putting my own priorities in order. As difficult as it was, it was also the push in my life that forced me to set myself on a better path and to take charge of my life in a much more focused and healthy way. It is odd how life presents positive lessons for us in sometimes very painful ways. Such a paradox.

I am so sorry your therapist is going through this battle with her health. It will be a difficult road ahead of her and her own focus in her life will change. I hope the news from her doctors is positive and that effective treatment is a possibility.
  #95  
Old Jul 17, 2015, 12:07 PM
Anonymous37777
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It sounds like you have a good handle on how you're feeling about your strong connection to your therapist, and I have a feeling that connection will last a long time into the future. If your therapist is off for a period of time while she's getting treatment, I hope you don't dismiss the value in going and talking to a person she might recommend just to work through the stress and anxiety regarding her illness. I'm sure she'd recommend someone good! It doesn't mean that person becomes your new therapist, just someone to talk to for a short time while your therapist is healing.

I did want to say that my mother was diagnosed with cervical cancer when she was in her mid-fifties. She's 85 now! She was hospitalized for a short time following the removal of her cervix and her uterus was also removed as a precaution. She didn't have to have chemo or radiation and she made a full recovery very quickly. Yes, it was scary as she worried about it reoccurring but she's alive and kickin' to this day.
Thanks for this!
LonesomeTonight
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