[rainbow8]

I stopped myself. I was talking about my H and I knew I might start to cry. I became agitated and said out loud " I don't want to cry" and my T saw how I stopped myself. She knows how much I do want to cry with her but that I can't. She asked why I can't. She's asked me before. I just say that no one cried in public in my family, and that I don't like people to see or hear stuff coming out of me.

I know we've had a lot of threads about not crying in therapy. I know I can't force myself, but how can I not stop myself when I feel it's going to happen? Has anyone found a solution to this problem?

[unaluna]

Has she ever cried in front of you? Thats probably what broke the ice for me and my current t. I dont really remember crying much at all with other ts. But this one isnt really a problem anymore. Mostly its tears of frustration now.

[rainbow8]

Originally Posted by hankster

Has she ever cried in front of you? Thats probably what broke the ice for me and my current t. I dont really remember crying much at all with other ts. But this one isnt really a problem anymore. Mostly its tears of frustration now.

On Tuesday when I was talking I saw tears in her eyes and I even said "you can cry" but it was brief. It's an interesting idea. Maybe I will tell her that if she cries, possibly I will be able to! When I used to feel self-conscious about closing my eyes and breathing in my session, I could do it when I opened my eyes and saw my T doing it too! Thank you for such a good possible solution, hankster.

[LonesomeTonight]

That is a good suggestion. I can often hold it together in situations like weddings and funerals as long as I don't see someone else cry. But if I do see someone else cry, then that's usually it for me, I'm a goner. In my T's and MC's offices though, the tears flow quite freely, I guess because I feel safe with them and don't feel the need to try to hold it together like if I'm in public. (The last place in that building that I'd managed not to cry was my p-doc's office, but I broke that wall down a few weeks ago when I was feeling really depressed.)

[laxer12]

I'm not able to cry in front of my T either...I've gotten close a couple of times but I always stop myself. I really want to be able to cry and feel comfortable doing it but I think I'm just so conscious of it that once I realize it's about to happen, my mind shifts gears and the feeling goes away.

I'm curious how other people allow themselves to cry when it isn't a natural thing we do in front of others.

[growlycat]

I still have a hard time with messy-crying, sobbing etc. But I do get teary eyed and talk and cry at the same time, which must look kind of disjointed.

I think if T could cry it would be easier.

[nottrustin]

I can't cry in front of T either. I have had a few times where I have started to have tears in my eyes and have tried to go with it but I can't. The only thing I have been able to come up with is that I am uncomfortable with other people crying. I feel so bad for them and want to "fix it" for them. I don't want people to feel sad if I cry. I know it would be okay to cry in T as some of the things I have told T has made her very sad. I just can't do it though.

[Bipolar Warrior]

Yeah, I find it hard to cry in front of others as well. My therapist hasn't really touched on anything in me to make me come even remotely close, but my academic mentor has a couple of times because she reads me like an open book. She is a trained therapist as well, with a completely different approach to my regular therapist, and it has such a big impact on me. She's been some sort of catalyst, and so I've come close to tears with her. She tried to encourage it, but I just couldn't. I'm so used to hiding my feelings, I guess.

[Cinnamon_Stick]

My T shed a tear while I was talking about something very painful. I told her I might be able to cry because she shared a tear with me. I have a hard time crying in-front of anyone, even my husband.

[iheartjacques]

I wish I didn't cry so much. I don't know how T puts up with it. I empty a box of his tissues some sessions. And it's that horrible crying with snot everywhere and me trying to talk. Way to guarantee he won't find me attractive lol

[junkDNA]

ive full on sobbed in front of my T. those times are rare and i do feel kinda embarrassed about it after. but most of the time its just tears coming out of my eyes

[Brightheart]

I think it can be about being okay with showing one's vulnerability to others. How do you feel about yourself when crying alone? How do you feel about crying itself?

I cried so much in therapy, yikes. Once I did the first time, it was easy after that. My last session, I was outright bawling. :/ Everyone is different, though, too and may respond differently to their emotions in different situations.

Take care, RB.

A strange thing happened to me on Saturday. I was having a consultation with a different T and I came closer to crying than I ever have with current T. I was talking and started getting teary-eyed. He said, "I'm not afraid of your emotions." Something about him saying that made me feel super safe. I wish I could have gone ahead and just let the tears flow, but I couldn't let myself go there. I just find it weird that I felt so safe with someone I just met. That has never happened to me before.

[Soccer mom]

Originally Posted by twistedangel00

A strange thing happened to me on Saturday. I was having a consultation with a different T and I came closer to crying than I ever have with current T. I was talking and started getting teary-eyed. He said, "I'm not afraid of your emotions." Something about him saying that made me feel super safe. I wish I could have gone ahead and just let the tears flow, but I couldn't let myself go there. I just find it weird that I felt so safe with someone I just met. That has never happened to me before.

I had the same thing happen. I have been through hell and back with my T. and never cried with her. I went to another T. for an opinion and could feel the tears about to come. I teared up but never full cry.

I once read that a reason you can't let go is you feel there is too much to lose. Yup.

[Cinnamon_Stick]

I once read that a reason you can't let go is you feel there is too much to lose. Yup.[/QUOTE]

What do you mean by there is too much to loose?

[Soccer mom]

The deeper the connection the harder it is to let go because you feel you could lose them. If I really unfold, would someone walk away.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[iheartjacques]

That's what I'm scared of. If I fall apart completely, he won't be with me to help me pick up my pieces.