Oh my gosh. My husband deposited 500 dollars in my account on Saturday. He said I had 900. I have no idea. I was just abou to pay my bills and the automated system says I have 230. I am on hold to speak w/ a representative to verify what I had on Sat. What did I do??? I can't keep track of the money; I have been spending impulsively, not thinking it was adding up like that.

I got a refund check from taxes and a big refund check from my student loan. I haven't deposited those yet, so I do have money to pay my bills. But I am SO SCARED to put those checks in my account because I obviously can't control myself. I think I am on the verge of tears.

I think I want my T. I need my T.

EDITED: Ok, whoa. The 500 wasn't posted yet because of the holiday weekend so my balance is really 500 more than the automated system said.

BUT.

I still can't control myself.

I am working part-time now because of my internship.

Only 21 hrs. per week.

And I have a million bills to pay.

Today I went to Target and bought stuff we need for the house (cleaning supplies, paper products, etc.)

Then a shirt.

And a fig tree.

They are so nice.

Help.

The medication is doing a number on me right now. I usually go to sleep right after I take it but now I'm staying up and I can't even hold my head up. So dizzy.

EDITED AGAIN: Oh my gosh. I have the most enormous stack of bills that I didn't pay. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY. I just opened my car insurance bill and it is so late that it was almost cancelled. I am paying by phone right now. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?! WHY CAN'T I DO THIS? I don't even know why I %#@&#! up. I don't know.

Can't see straight. Gotta call the pdoc tomorrow.

[Hopefull]

Wow! I am glad that you have money to pay the bills and that the $500 hadn't been posted yet. I hope you find a way to control any spending impulses or atleast limit them. I have always been good with budgeting and so I am not the person to give advice on how to control spending.
As for going to Target, it sounds like a lot of what you bought is neccesities. If you were low or out of them it was probably best that you get them. Also I find that it is when you work hours are decreased which gives you more time to fill that I have more of a tendency to spend money. If I'm working, I don't have as much time to spend money. What other things do you like to do? Hobbies? In other words, what can you do that you enjoy to keep yourself busy in order to get past the temptation? Do you feel good when you spend? I know that my psychological quirks make me feel safe sometimes which makes it harder to stop them. Well, I will quit hen pecking you with questions. Feel free not to answer if I am being overly nosey for my own good.

Ugh. I'm done. Every bill was late except for one. Late fees. I am such an idiot. SUCH an idiot. I need to learn from this. I need to pay the bill the day it arrives.

How many times have I gone through this? I need to grow up and be responsible. It's hard to think of responsibility when I'm doing things on impulse. I don't mean it. I don't %#@&#! things up on purpose. At least not consciously.

[okiedokie]

Hang in there, Pink. I feel your pain. Finances are my achilles heel too. Yet to be conquered...

Try to look on the bright side. At least you were able to catch yourself just in time and pay your bills. Some people aren't able to do that. So, way to go!
Take care,
Okie

Sit down with a calendar you can write on. Take those bills you just paid and from them determine when they will be due next.

Figure out which paychecks you can pay them from and write that on your calendar.

If you pay online, you can set up payments for a future date. You could go on right now and set up next months payments and arrange to be notified by email of your current bill.

I have a simple system where rent and one utility are paid from the first paycheck of the month and the rest of the bills from the next paycheck.

It just feel so good to be in control. I don't even care if I don't have any money left over, as long as the bills are paid on time. It just feels good.

If interested, there is a book, availabel on Amzaon called "How to Get Out of Debt and Stay Out of Debt", a short easy to use book.

You might even want to explore financial awareness and discipline with your T?

[Cheri]

Can you do any of your banking online? I keep a ledger of all the bills that are due in a month, with the amount or estimated amount and due date of each written down, then pay as many of them as I can using either Checkfree or my bank's bill-paying service (because they clear much more quickly than checks do). Then I check my balance online to see how much I've spent on necessary incidentals not budgeted--like cleaning supplies and fig trees--and cross off the bills that have cleared on my ledger. Then I use the calculator to determine how much of the remaining money needs to go to bills, how much to food, etc., and how much is left for discretionary spending.

I've found that keeping daily track of my account is the only thing that prevents me from getting in the situation you describe (btdt).

Very similar to Echoes, seems like, who gave you good advice. If you design a structured system to follow, you should find you don't end up paying late fees or running out of money before the bills are covered.

hmm. tell me about it.
the money goes in, the money goes out
the money is all gone.
round and round and round i go...
hand to mouth
month after month.

i'm lucky i only have 2 bills.
rent and health insurance.
i don't know what i'd do otherwise.

don't know what i'd do.

i need to marry a devoted husband who cooks and does bills methinks.
someone who can make me laugh
someone who can hold me.

i wonder if t has a younger brother...

[Perna]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
alexandra_k said:
i need to marry a devoted husband who cooks and does bills methinks.
someone who can make me laugh
someone who can hold me.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Sorry, Alexandra, you can't have my husband! :-)

But pink, can you ask your husband to help you with your bills? I got all tangled and asked my husband, at the time only my boyfriend (!!!) to help me with my checkbook I got all snarled and he very patiently looked it over and the first thing he said was a compliment to me about not spending more than I would be able to pay off if I needed to/not being in debt beyond my means! Then we worked on the checkbook together and found my various problems (back in the day when there were a zillion different fees; I'd bounce a check or have a per-check fee or something and get all tangled because I wouldn't know or wouldn't subtract right or something). But we did it together and it was very nice; he didn't invade my space/boundaries despite it being the ticklish, very person subject of my money. It was another mark in the "I'm marrying this man!" column LOL.

[Gemstone]

I find the best thing for me is to keep a spreadsheet where I track all of my spending and bills. I tried using quickbooks, but I didn't like it so I created a spreadsheet.

I keep track of my bank account, but I also have my monthly budget on it. Every time I make a purchase I add the amount to my bank balance spreadsheet, but also to the budget spreadsheet. The budget spreadsheet shows me how much I've spend on whatever category and automatically tells me how much I have left to spend on that category for the month.

The budget spreadsheet also has all my bills in it do I can see whether I have paid them or not.

I go online to my bank's website every day and highlight the things that have posted to my account, so I will know if I missed something or if I forgot to mail the check etc.

I'm rather obsessive about it, but its the only thing that works for me. I would be totally scattered if I didn't keep the spreadsheet. When I was relying on a checkbook the book would constantly be lost or I would forget to add things, and I would be overdrawn all the time.

[dreamrunner]

I owe I owe Its off to work I go.......money doesnt buy happiness.......Id like to prove that theory someday.
Pinksoil.......when your young and starting out its hard....hang in there.....you will get through this.....it will get better it takes time.

[Hopefull]

I think you have heard a lot of good idea on how to budget. I must say I'm just plain boring. I just keep a check book and note how much I've spent at the end of the month.
I hope you find a system that works for you.

[sidony]

Definitely switch to paying bills online! I used to get slapped with late fees all the time because I couldn't remember to send the bills in. Now a lot of my bills auto-draft. Or, if they don't I get email reminders. And you're obviously online often enough. It saved me lots in late fees.

I've been a little crazy with spending lately too. And I keep looking at this outfit I want online. I know I'm gonna break down and order it and it's way too $$....

(Okay, that isn't helpful, but at least you know someone can empathize!)

Good luck!
Sidony

I have two checking accounts - one where all regular bills are paid automatically via on-line draw... everything... and I also put money in for therapy - that I write a check for...

I should mention that all my utilities are put on a budget plan where they space out the payments all year for the same amount.. that way I know exactly what is coming out...

Then my second checking account is for all other things, like food, whatever...

kinda of a strange system but it works for me....

[lauren_helene]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
pinksoil said:
I can't keep track of the money; I have been spending impulsively, not thinking it was adding up like that.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I shouldn't giggle here at all but that sentence sounds 100% like me. I'm always saying WTH where is the money going!

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
pinksoil said:
I think I want my T. I need my T.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I know with times like this I just want to hit a button and have T magically appear. We can do this in our minds, what would your T say about this before in discussions?

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
pinksoil said:
Today I went to Target and bought stuff we need for the house (cleaning supplies, paper products, etc.)

Then a shirt.

And a fig tree.

They are so nice.

Help.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Again, this is me 100% buying what we 'need' and then what I 'want'...I have all sorts of justifications for it in my mind.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
pinksoil said:
The medication is doing a number on me right now. I usually go to sleep right after I take it but now I'm staying up and I can't even hold my head up. So dizzy.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I do not know which medication you are taking but the same thing happened to me with wellbutrin and effexor.

I'm concerned too about this. Was your medicine increased recently? Is this a new drug? Sometimes p-docs try drugs on us that bring some of these adverse affects out. Please call your p-doc as soon as you can.