i really dont know what to do anymore everything is so confusing i dont know what to think both my psychologist and psychiatrist keep saying i have a lot going on at the moment but wont say what. i am scared i am always wanting to self harm and i am constantly thinking of how i could kill myself and i told my psychiatrist the last time about how i dont think this world is real and how there are demons everywhere and how i cant trust anyone and how the people at the hospital are evil and about the other people in my head and the whispering and how the other people(entities) in my head are magical. he didnt say much but asked a lot of questions and stuff but now i am scared i made a big mistake the others in my say i am not sick and i dont think i am so why should i see a doctor..... but then my psychiatrist says he wants to make another appointment. and then the others in my head say that i cant trust my psychologist and my psychiatrist and that they want to trick me like the people at the hospital so they can hurt me. and i never feel real anymore i dont even feel human i dont think i am human i dont even feel whole or like i am one person it is like there are partial creatures in my body doing things. i dont feel in control and sometimes my head feels all speeded up and other times it feels really slow and i cant think straight most of the time.

i am sorry this is so long i realy dont know what to think are the others in my head right should i not trust/talk to my psychologist and psychiatrist will they hurt me?

Hi Eden, really pleased you told your psychiatrist about the voices and your feelings, that must have taken a lot of courage. Your Mental Health team want to help you and the best way they can do that is if they know what's really going on for you. When they say "you have a lot going on" They probably mean with the suicidal ideation and voices. It must be a lot for you to deal with.
You have done the right thing, and I hope that with the right treatment, the voices and other symptoms will start to fade. They aren't real entities and are quite dangerous because they might tell you to do something which is harmful (like not going to the doctors)
Best wishes to you, I feel that you've take an important step on the road to recovery.

How do you know that someone wants to help you though? Do you get a feeling? Do they tell you? How do you know? I just it feels like he is going to hurt me it feels like everyone wants to hurt me and the feeling doesnt leave arent you supposed to trust your gut? Nothing makes sense anymore.

Also how do you know if something is real or not how can you know for sure?

[magno11789]

Hugs Eden, it does sound like a lot, and it looks like you had a lot of courage to tell your psychiatrist about what is going on. When it comes to trust sometimes it feels like it has to be built up and it could take a bit before you feel like you can trust someone. Most of the time trusting someone doesn't happen over night. I've seen my new therapist since September and I am only just beginning to feel like I can really start trusting her. Other times it is a gut feeling you have instantly. Only I can make the decision to trust someone. They can't decide for me to trust them. I didn't date for a really long time because I always thought every male wanted to hurt me, but that isn't the case, and sometimes it's still hard to believe.

[Argonautomobile]

I agree with the others---it must have taken a lot of courage to be honest with your pdoc. I think you did the right thing in telling him, and, yes, I think you can trust him. Good luck and I really hope you get some relief from these symptoms.

I am scared though because I don't know what they will do and they aren't telling me anything at all and what if the things in my head are real and telling the truth and they are going to hurt me I have told my psychologist these things but it was gradually and he kept asking about my psychiatrist and then he said he would talk to him and now I am scared they will like plan something. And what should I do cause I don't know if I should tell them or not about my plan and stuff to Sui because I don't know what they would do.

What would they do should i tell them?

They will probably work towards a treatment plan which keeps you safe. Nobody here can say what that will be, but I sense the biggest thing would be to try to convince you to take some meds. The voices can't be trusted when they tell you not to take meds. If you do take some meds it may ease those symptoms which are obviously causing you a lot of pain.

[divine1966]

Good job telling them of your concerns. Let them choose the right treatment for you.

As about how do you know if they want to help. Just think about job they chose. They chose a job to treat people with particular issues. If they wanted to do something else that's what they do. That's what they are trained to do and that's what are there for: to deal with mental health concerns of their patients/clients.

Good luck and please follow treatment plan

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Originally Posted by Echos Myron

They will probably work towards a treatment plan which keeps you safe. Nobody here can say what that will be, but I sense the biggest thing would be to try to convince you to take some meds. The voices can't be trusted when they tell you not to take meds. If you do take some meds it may ease those symptoms which are obviously causing you a lot of pain.

Please don't keep saying the others in my head can't be trusted they really don't like it and it is making me stressed. You can have that opinion if you want but please don't write that it is triggering me badly at the moment.

Originally Posted by divine1966

Good job telling them of your concerns. Let them choose the right treatment for you.

As about how do you know if they want to help. Just think about job they chose. They chose a job to treat people with particular issues. If they wanted to do something else that's what they do. That's what they are trained to do and that's what are there for: to deal with mental health concerns of their patients/clients.

Good luck and please follow treatment plan

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But what if they did it so they could hurt people without other people suspecting them. Like if they are just pretending to be nice and what if they are just telling you that you are "sick" or "mentally ill" so that they can hurt you and call it "treatment".

[justdesserts]

It must be so difficult not to know what's true and feel like people want to hurt you or don't have your best interest in mind. I wonder if instead of assuming the worst about your psychiatrist and psychologist, that they got into their professions to hurt people, you could consider the more probable scenario--that they are interested in helping people be well and being their best possible selves and that they take their ethical commitment to do harm very seriously, so they are trying helping you and are worthy of the benefit of the doubt, if not trust.

I have tried but i just cant get it out of my head that they want to hurt me.

[Argonautomobile]

Originally Posted by eden1515

I have tried but i just cant get it out of my head that they want to hurt me.

I know it's tough, but you've already worked up the courage to tell them what's going on. Keep up that courage. Whatever helps you, do that. Good luck.

But this is different and now they are mad at me because I told them and I wasn't supposed to I tried to do stuff to make up for it but I don't know if I can what if telling my psychiatrist and psychologist this means I can't protect the others cause we have an agreement and if I can't and they hurt them then I will have ruined everything and the bad things will happen and it will all be my fault.

[Argonautomobile]

I'm sorry the others are mad, but I still think you did the right thing. I don't think your docs will hurt them. I think the docs want what's best for everybody.

They do not want what is best for the others that I know for sure.

Originally Posted by eden1515

They do not want what is best for the others that I know for sure.

That could be a good thing. What they want is to put YOU first, not the others.

Originally Posted by lolagrace

That could be a good thing. What they want is to put YOU first, not the others.

But i dont matter why would they put me first that doesnt make sense.

[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by eden1515

But i dont matter why would they put me first that doesnt make sense.

You matter to them!

[divine1966]

You had enough courage to talk to a doctor so I believe one day you'll have courage to start treatment.

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Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

You matter to them!

Why? It doesn't make sense maybe they are just pretending so they can hurt me.

[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by eden1515

Why? It doesn't make sense maybe they are just pretending so they can hurt me.

I know it's hard for you to understand, with all the stuff going on in your head. I just get the sense from what you've said that they're really trying to figure out ways to help you.

I think that a therapist or psychiatrist wouldn't get into the field unless they wanted to help people. (It's a lot of work to go through just to try to trick people.)

Could you just try to believe that they really do want to help? I know it can be scary to trust people, but maybe try trusting them as much as you can, and see how it goes?

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

I know it's hard for you to understand, with all the stuff going on in your head. I just get the sense from what you've said that they're really trying to figure out ways to help you.

I think that a therapist or psychiatrist wouldn't get into the field unless they wanted to help people. (It's a lot of work to go through just to try to trick people.)

Could you just try to believe that they really do want to help? I know it can be scary to trust people, but maybe try trusting them as much as you can, and see how it goes?

I don't trust anyone I never have and I don't know that I ever will. It is hard to explain but I can't "just trust" someone.