Couch 106 - the couch that must not be named

Out of curiosity, are you concerned about being open for fear she'll think you need a higher level of care? I ask because I was just talking to my T about this today. Ever since this one appointment in September, plus some late-night reaching out to both T and marriage counselor within less than a week, my p-doc suggested that maybe I needed a higher level of care and should do a day program (aka intensive outpatient program) for a month or two. Which would mean meeting with a bunch of strangers and not seeing T and MC for the period I was in the program. I went into a sobbing panic attack at the time--talked to T later that day, and she said she didn't think I needed that, so it was OK.

But since then, I'm scared to be honest with p-doc about things I'm feeling or have done. I was shaking during much of our appointment this past Friday, and she asked if I was anxious (duh, part of why I see her is panic disorder and generalized anxiety). T said that I need to tell p-doc that I'm scared of how she'll react to my telling her certain things and why. Because if I can't be honest with her, then what's the point, really? The thing is, my T and MC know me so much better than her, that they'd be better able to judge if I was really in trouble. Today my T said she rarely recommends hospitalization and was like, "If I committed every client who talked about x, then I'd fill up a whole wing of the local hospital." I think I need to trust that if p-doc was concerned, she'd talk to T and MC (all in same practice) before jumping to conclusions about something. Unless it was a case where a med she prescribed may have been causing something, that is.

Your stuff with your p-doc might be totally different, but just wanted to share...

Was it in a phallic shape?

Hey couch! Another 10 hour day down! It's amazing to me how much better this January is than last year. Last year I had already started packing up my desk and threatened to quit twice by this point. Yes, they've made some changes at work that have helped make it better, but I think a lot of the change has been within ME. And after my last t session where some really good realizations happened for me about my relationship with my h, my marriage has been feeling back on track. Hubby and I have been having fun together again, actually, and it almost feels like when we first got married. Weird, huh?! Embarrassing the stuff I admitted to t that I realized I have been projecting on my h - and conscious of it I have not been since Saturday and it's amazing. It's making my life easier already. I didn't know I was inadvertently authoring my own misery. I just wanted to share that. This therapy journey is the best thing I have ever done for myself and I don't want it to end.

I'm living vicariously through your home improvement projects SM!

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Hey sometimes a granola bar is just a granola bar!

A 3.5 min convo with the ex and I want smash him im the face....GRRRRR!

(((BunYip))) If it makes you feel any better, I have no contact with mine and I still want to smash him in the face. I wish it was a little easier for you to coparent with him.

Thanks! I inherited this old 70's wonder and I've lived here since I was 4. This might be the first time I've ever done anything to it that's just for me. I'm still figuring out what I like, what I can accomplish myself, and what I need to back away from slowly!

When you wake up at 5-ish when you don't need to wake up until 6:45 you have to make the best of it. A cup of coffee, a warm sweatshirt, and a little stenciling to get the old electrons firing. Take that insomnia!

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I'm leaving the old hinges on, and that blue and white board in the back is protection for my living room walls. Not bad. . .

Hey Ellahmae, how was pdoc?

Test week results so far:
Economics: 8.6
Math: 8.8
Physics: 7.6!!
Grades are graded 1.0-10.0 with 5.5 and higher being a passing grade.
I'm highest of my class in all 3 - in physics I'm even the only passing grade. And I hoped for maybe a 6 on that test! It didn't go very well, in my opinion. But my grade begs to differ.

Wow congratulations, excellent results! I found the ones I thought I did horrible on were actually pretty good grades.

*offers a hug* I can relate to that panicked feeling where I feel I might "lose it" and start shedding tears.

Good on you!

Congrats!!

Looks good. I like the pattern.

Thanks for the congratulations.

Just spoke to my pdoc (on the phone). He said that in situations like last Thursday (when I was doing badly of the "if a random pdoc would see me now he'd commit me" variety) and a sleeping pill didn't work, I am allowed to take another one. That gives me some relief. Thursday was horrible.

You know, it sucks when school is going so well and you feel like crap. I'm functioning, why doesn't my mood improve?

Well...off to meet the first potential No. 3.

Damn the torpedoes etc.

Starry, starry night.. but I could've told you, Vincent, this world was never meant for one as beautiful as you

Good luck AtAt!

Another 10 hour day woohoo and a plus to how busy it is at work right now, i don't have time to think about anything but work except for when I'm on breaks.

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Maybe that's why I'm so happy, very little time for thinking about therapy ha.

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.. and when no hope was left inside, on that starry, starry night...

She wagged her finger in my face - I was sorely tempted to bite it - and said in a sing-song voice, "Someone's a skeptic!"

I did not make a second appointment.

Youve done so much over this past year tho - taken so many classes and other challenges at work, done so much outside of work, you moved house(!) - youre not even the same person you were last year!! its like comparing apples and kumquats!!