[ChavInAHat]

I like my T, I feel I could open up to her, but a chance would be a fine thing!

Things are very stressful at the moment and every week there is something else going on that takes the focus off why I went to see T in the first place!

Today we had 3 conversations out of the 9 I NEEDed to have and 1 especially. But we ran out of time- again.

Another week, and there is something big going on, on Wednesday that will be extremely hard for me- so we will end up discussing that next Monday- and that is how it will go- the trauma stuff, the stuff that keeps me up at night and invades my mind without warning will still be there. It feels like it will always be there as it won't get worked on.

13 years I've been trying to get help for the trauma and I've never actually managed to see someone long enough or had a quiet enough period in my life to do what is needed.

It's frustrating

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That must be so hard! I think that one's daily life does often get in the way of healing from past wounds. It's the immediate, high stress daily life stuff that pushes in on us and needs immediate attention. One thing I do know about trauma work is that you need to be in a pretty safe place in your immediate life in order to effectively deal with those old wounds. I'm guessing that perhaps your therapist recognizes that and he/she is hesitant to delve into the deep end of the trauma ocean when you're struggling so hard to stay afloat on just day-to-day issues.

Is there any chance you can go more than once a week. I do know people who decided on a twice a week routine and designated one day to work on coping skills and day-to-day issues and then used the second day to focus on past trauma. But whatever you decide, I can certainly understand your frustration!

[ChavInAHat]

Originally Posted by Jaybird57

Is there any chance you can go more than once a week. I do know people who decided on a twice a week routine and designated one day to work on coping skills and day-to-day issues and then used the second day to focus on past trauma. But whatever you decide, I can certainly understand your frustration!

I wanted to ask for a second session this week, but chickened out because I don't want to come across as needy.

The thing is there will never be a 'good time'. I have a 7 year old with special needs and I am on my own with her. It will always be stressful.

The big thing this week links into my trauma which is why it will be so hard.

We briefly discussed it and T acknowledged how tough it will be. Still we meet next Monday.

I don't have a support network. I don't have friends and family are most of my problems.

Sorry I'm rambling now- thanks for replying

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[Pennster]

Maybe if you are shy about asking for a second session you could just outline for your therapist what you've outlined here, and ask her what she thinks might help you? And ask her if she thinks an extra session might help? perhaps asking in a more theoretical manner might feel a little less stressful...

[ilikecats]

I think asking for two sessions a week would be good. It's okay to come across as needy. Your T should understand. There's nothing wrong with needing more than an hour a week to talk about things you need to talk about. One hour isn't that much, so it's totally understandable to need more time.

[ChavInAHat]

Just bit the bullet and text her asking if was ok to ask for a second session this week.

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[ruh roh]

I'm glad you asked for a second session. I'm in a similar situation, and have been for the 14 months I've been in therapy. I often email to ask if she has an opening for a second session, and I don't feel needy at all. It's too taxing to just be putting out fires every day and never get to the underlying issues. There has to be a way to do both. Sometimes, that means extra sessions. It's usually all related (at least it is for me). The current nightmare is a massive trigger for the past.

[ScarletPimpernel]

Or decided what is more important: dealing with past trauma or dealing with weekly stressors? And then stick to it. Maybe working on past traumas isn't that important right now compared to all the things you do have to deal with? Or maybe you need to build your own support network to deal with the weekly stuff and then keep T for trauma only? Or, as the others have suggested: ask for an extra session...

[ChavInAHat]

T text back and said that was fine and offered a good time for me on Friday.

I think I may have to do a few weeks of 2 sessions. Maybe when my carers funding comes through we can continue at 2 sessions a week.

The problem is I am no good with socialising (being assessed for autistic spectrum disorder myself so don't know if my crippling social anxiety is part of that or just part of my anxiety) so building a support network would take too long and be just as hard as going to T twice a week- actually I would rather pay T double than face having to socialise with people.

Thanks for replying everyone, I feel better knowing I have the extra session

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