[InACorner]

well...i have only had one therapist...and it lasted three sessions...so i guess my expierence is ...limited to say the least ..
for so long ive wanted a therapist ....ive NEEDED a therapist...and i finally got one and for those three separate occasions on which those sessions occured i could not stay grounded...i could barely keep my breath and those three weeks were hell ...and after three grueling sessions (that mind you werent even really that deep) he decided he wasnt qualified enough to help me...
i am now thinking i cant even imagine going to a therapist again ....i dont want to....im not saying its because of what my ex therapist said or did....but the idea of going through it again makes me cringe....start to dissociate....its crazy....and very very painful

[dreamrunner]

I get so anxious before my T apts too.....its really hard and sometimes painful work.Try to focus however that these sessions will benifit you in the long run.Helps you to deal,cope and understand yourself......

[ErinBear]

Hi InACorner,

I'm sorry that your first experience with a T was such a difficult one. I know you said you don't wish to try therapy again, but it may be that you could have a very different, much more positive experience with another T, even though that seems hard to imagine now. If you decide to try again, you might want to consider if you want to try a T of a different gender (sometimes that is helpful for some people) or somebody who has a different approach. Sometimes just meeting someone with a different personality helps....it may be that you and this first T just didn't "click" very well. It can be a big task to go through therapy, and it's true that it is a lot of work....and can be scary, depending on what you are doing in therapy and such....but it can also be a place of positive support and growth. If you decide you want to try again at some point, I hope it will go better for you. Meanwhile, there are other forms of support out there, too, if you want something like that. There are support groups....Psych Central....various choices online and in 3D.

Thinking of you and wishing you all the best....

Take care,
ErinBear

[MissCharlotte]

(((Inny)))

I have dissociated so often in therapy that I swear my feet have never touched the floor there.

Please don't let that experience deter you from getting the help you want. The right therapist will not be put off by your dissociation, but will want to help you. I am now at the point when I can tell T that I am starting to drift.

Yes, it's painful, nerve wracking and all those things, but there is hope for a real grounding ahead, just stay the course.

[WinterRose]

Starting over again is very painful. I'm looking at doing that right now and I don't want to do it either. But like you said - you've wanted a therapist and even more you've needed a therapist. We deserve to get what we need and shouldn't give up on ourselves. (I'm talking to myself here too.) <font color="purple">Let's hang in there together.</font>

[Hopefull]

Does the experience of dissocciating scare you? Was the T trying to get you to explore or answer questions that you were not ready for?
My first T was too fast for me but my current T is gentle and patient. If the reason that it was hard for you was because of the T poking you, you might consider finding a more patient and gentle T. Some of us need to develop a relationship before diving into more personal information about ourselves. If it is the first reason, I can't imagine how to respond to that because I have rarely experienced anything like it. I did something might have been a form of it once in session. However, I suspect that it would be scary to do that especially if therapy increases the frequency or degree of it. I hope you will consider trying again. You stated that you have wanted and needed a therapist for quite a while. So, I hope that you try to find a good match for you and your issues whatever they/it may be.

[InACorner]

thank you all very much

(((Dream runner))))
(((Erinbear))))
(((sister)))
(((winterrose))))
(((hopefull)))

Well, i cannot have a woman therapist ...i refuse..i dont know why exactly...but for some reason i can only have a guy therapist....or at least i think...thats how i feel...i am terrified of dissociation.....and i do think my therapist went way to fast....we were on our second session and he was getting into my self injury and how to stop it...and i really dont actually remember what he said but all i remember is i stopped looking at him...and when i got things clear i was curled up on the couch....and he just looked at me and said something like...you dont seem to wild about that idea.....i think he made a suggestion about stopping my self injury...i shouldnt be dissociating about self injury....i mean if it was about my family i could see...but i dont understand.....i think he might have gone to fast....i guess....i dont know

Inny,

First, I want to say that sometimes I am still that way with my therapist even after 4 months of weekly sessions. It just takes time to get comfortable and however long it takes is okay.

I think it's unfortunate that the therapist felt you two were not a good fit. I think he did you a favor, even though it is painful right now. So, now you can try someone else and see how that goes.

I decided my last T was not a good fit but still was reluctant to leave her. Then I found my current T and she is so different and so warm and accepting; I'm so thankful for having been able to leave the last T (with TONS of support to help me do that) and to find this T (also with support for how to find what I was looking for).

Hang in there. As my T often says to me.... You're where you need to be right now. It's okay. You're doing fine.

((( hugs )))

Inny, I've been with my T for almost 2 yrs., and I'm still going slow, still getting used to it. I view the therapeutic relationship like any relationship in life-- you have to find the person you click with-- some you will connect with, some you won't... just like any relationship. The one you will click with is still out there... I just really hope this experience doesn't scare you out of finding that connection. I'm sorry it was a bad experience.