[bounceback]

Cinnamon stick's post got me thinking about preconceived notions and I was wondering what did you expect therapy to be like the first time you went.

For me I thought I would get some medication and would feel better instantly. My anxiety, depression, and everything would be gone and nothing would bother me. I expected I would be fixed by the therapist instead it has taking me 27 years of on and off therapy (mostly on) to get to the place where I am now.

[Cinnamon_Stick]

I thought the therapist was going to fix me and solve all my problems. It was tough to learn and at a young age that I had to do all the work. I also thought my anxiety and depression would be gone instantly.

[atisketatasket]

When I first started a little over a year ago, I expected it to be a hellish experience that would do very little to help, but which was the only thing I could think to do.

Mostly it's been neutral and accidentally helpful at times.

[stopdog]

I expected them to be better able to explain how it worked or was supposed to work. And that they would have some structure to the whole thing.

I didn't have a clue the first time into therapy what it was about. All I knew was that I was not okay. I was very depressed and distressed about . . . life, I guess. I had sought out someone for help but I didn't even know what that help would look like, and he got me in touch with my first therapist. I went into his office that day having absolutely no idea what therapy was, what this person might possibly be able to do to help me, or even if I was at all helpable.

[junkDNA]

i never saw a therapist until i was put in this weird abusive troubled teen program in the woods. it was an intense environment and was eventually investigated for child abuse and then bought out by a diff company. anyway, my experience there was pretty negative.

when i got out after 8 months i met my former T . i cant really remember what i expected when meeting him. i didnt expect him to break the boundaries in a perverse way, though. i didnt really care about therapy or recovery then. i was 17, just got out of what i thought was hell on earth... and turned to using drugs for years.

when i met my current T after i had reported my former T i thought he could help me recover. we had a pretty turbulent run there for the first 3 years ... but in the end my T has helped greatly in my healing and recovery journey

[BooMonster87]

I thought there would be seals. lol No joke.

I was in first grade or so and the therapist had a name that sounded like "seal" to my little mind. (I still have no idea what her name actually was.)

I thought it had to be better than how I felt right then. That was my only expectation and need.

I was in crisis and neede help NOW. I didn't expect anything in particular.

[BrazenApogee]

I thought I would be able to talk, find some answers, and feel better. I'm still having trouble talking. Most visits I leave feeling worse than when I show up. I do feel better in general and have made alot of positive changes in my life.

I thought the t would make me feel better and that I would be fixed by her. I would tell her this every week until eventually she terminated me for not doing the work!


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[retro_chic]

Originally Posted by BrazenApogee

I thought I would be able to talk, find some answers, and feel better. I'm still having trouble talking. Most visits I leave feeling worse than when I show up. I do feel better in general and have made alot of positive changes in my life.

This is pretty much exactly how I feel.

[awkwardlyyours]

I know this sounds bizarre but I really didn't think I had to be very (or at all) vulnerable in therapy when I first walked in (I actually told my therapist this recently and she looked at me like I'd lost it and asked 'What did you think therapy was going to be like?').

I'd thought it would be a conversation that I could totally control and my therapist would -- at a significant emotional distance -- offer some dryly analytical suggestions on how I can deal with stuff and that would be it.

So, I'd thought 6 months would be more than enough time for my issues and I'd be done in much less -- am now looking at about a year in and probably at least a year or two more.

I really did NOT expect that the experience would leave me so emotionally wrought every single week to the point that I have to factor in my lack of productivity for a significant chunk of time post-therapy.

I don't know if I had any expectations. Well, I guess I craved help. I got that.

[Bipolar Warrior]

I didn't have any specific expectations, just someone to talk to who would listen and try to help me.

[stopdog]

Interesting to see what others expected. I never expected the therapist to do anything to me personally - I just wanted to know how therapy was supposed to help. She failed on both fronts either way - but the personal was not something I wanted so although she has failed at it, it is not a loss for me.

First time I went as a teen I had know idea what to expect. Last time I went as a 50-year-old, I had know idea what to expect. Was I surprised, got therapy like I've never had before, and am happy and grateful.

[Argonautomobile]

I expected to have inspirational platitudes vomited all over me, but then I learned that when you release expectations you are free to enjoy things for what they are instead of what you think they should be.

[here today]

I expected the therapists to "fix" me. That's what I was sent to the psych hospital for at age 15 with anorexia nervosa. And in a way they did fix that -- at least provided 11 months away from my family in a relatively safe place and I matured enough to the point that when it was clear that not eating was a deadend road I changed my attitude and behavior.

Problem is that I never had another clear idea of what I expected when I had other problems and went to therapy for answers or fixes.

I did the best I could. I think the therapy profession has some responsibility for making things clear if "fixes" are not really what they are about. And in my case, diagnosed 6 years ago with DDNOS or "narcissistic fragmentation", there really was a sense in which I needed to be "fixed". May be happening now, I don't know, time will tell.

[annielovesbacon]

I thought it would be easy to identify my issues and find solutions for them. I thought I knew everything that was wrong with me and that my T would help me fix all of those things.
I was SO wrong -- being in therapy has drudged up many issues and thought patterns I have, some of which my whole life, that therapy has helped me realize are problematic and hurtful. And there have certainly been no easy fixes. I was put on meds pretty much right away but it's been months and I still haven't found any that work for me. My therapy is coming to a close soon and I am so fearful -- it feels like I am so much worse off than I started. Although when I think about it rationally my T has helped me so much, it just feels worse because she helped me realize a lot of things I am struggling with that I wasn't aware of before.

[ThingWithFeathers]

When I first started, I didn't know that I was going to go to therapy. I made a phone call to a community organisation specialising in trauma to get some information and, before I knew it, I was in weekly counselling. All I knew what was I that I would be going to speak with someone about some of the childhood trauma. I didn't expect to be there and , when I walked through the door, I certainly didn't know I would be there for this long (3 years so far). It's more than I expected or could have hoped for.

[Myrto]

I was desperate for help and didn't have any opinion about therapy. I just decided to try it just to see how it would go. I figured, at this point, nothing could be worse so why not try therapy ? I never thought I would develop an attachment to my therapist nor that I would be there for so long ( more than two years).

[unaluna]

I really thought they would be able to tell me the right thing to say to get my family to like me and accept me, that somehow i was just saying things wrong, but that i was doing things right and would be able to convince the family of that. But that acceptance was always just out of reach, no matter what i did. I was aware in the back of my mind of what that meant, but couldnt face it. I finally faced it when my life hit bottom. And here i am.

[TrailRunner14]

Originally Posted by awkwardlyyours

I know this sounds bizarre but I really didn't think I had to be very (or at all) vulnerable in therapy when I first walked in (I actually told my therapist this recently and she looked at me like I'd lost it and asked 'What did you think therapy was going to be like?').

I'd thought it would be a conversation that I could totally control and my therapist would -- at a significant emotional distance -- offer some dryly analytical suggestions on how I can deal with stuff and that would be it.

So, I'd thought 6 months would be more than enough time for my issues and I'd be done in much less -- am now looking at about a year in and probably at least a year or two more.

I really did NOT expect that the experience would leave me so emotionally wrought every single week to the point that I have to factor in my lack of productivity for a significant chunk of time post-therapy.

This is how I pretty much felt too, going into it. I had ever talked with anyone myself. I was at a point in my life that I felt like there was no other option. Something had to happen and I desperately needed someone to hear me and help me.

My heart is very thankful! I've never known what an honest and safe relationship with another person felt like or looked like. I had no idea whatsoever what boundaries were and that they are good.

I too did not realize the emotional wreck I would find myself in after most of my sessions.