Couch 113 - Sofa, So Good

I need to go , but all I want to do is keep lying here.

Anyone wanna play drill sergeant to my feckless private?

I used to read older science fiction - asimov, bradbury - but ive never gotten into the fantasy genre per se - flying dragons, hugging mothers...

I'm sitting on the side of the road near t's not wanting to get there early, and kinda not wanting to go at all. Melissa etheridge cd cranked up singing "i wanna shout now!" love this song. "I wanna wake up!" somebody make me start driving again...

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Well, I don't remember 0-10, so they very well could have kissed my boo-boo's. I was apparently a happy child....so there's that. As a preschool teacher to 2 year olds, I definitely kiss boo boo's
Oh, crocus!!! This makes me so sad to read. Do you see the disparity in those two sentences? There is no such thing as a perfect childhood when you call yourself horrid. Children act out due to abuse/trauma that happens to them. Children aren't "bad," it is parenting that is "bad." As i said above, I am a preschool teacher. In my 5 years teaching toddlers, I have yet to see a child that DOESN'T want to please us (me and the other teacher). They strive to be "good" and follow the rules, and get the attention of adults. That is normal development. You are NOT horrid, I don't care what you tell me about it, I refuse to believe it.

Home from t. Obviously I did start driving again and went! lol I even got there a couple minutes early and was sitting in my car rocking out (to Melissa of course, "Shout Now") and she saw me, I didn't notice that she had opened the door lol so I'm rocking away.... and when I saw it was time I looked over and there she was watching me from her door lol. She said she thought I had waved to her - I said no, I didn't even see you open the door, I was rockin' out! and I sang a little bit of the song as I went in.

We had a good session, did talk a little bit about my intense feeeelings stuff from 2 weeks ago, mainly it was me sharing my inner-workings as I felt my way through it all. I said thank you for putting up with me especially through that. And I told her that despite how I was acting during all of that - that this work we do, this relationship we have built over time, that it means a lot to me. It felt good to let myself just say that to her.

And we talked a little about that very black day of rage and anger that I had earlier this week, how in the grip of it I was, but that I did allow myself to feel it - told her how between calls at work I was writing big, hard strokes with my pen in my notebook that tore the pages - but I didn't run away from the anger like usual, I acknowledged it and felt it and wrote through it, somehow doing my job as normal around it..... after I got home took a hot bath and went to bed really early.... and it was gone the next morning. She wondered if I'd thought to ask the anger who it was, to show me a face.... I said no, I did good to just do exactly what I did.... she said I should invite it to tea.... I said that's a little too pretty.... and she said well maybe that's where we need to focus our work now....

So now that's over, the rest of the weekend we will be deep-cleaning the house in preparation for a) the appraisal for our refi and b) my mother /sister in law coming to visit in a week and a half.

Happy Saturday, couch!!

I'm so glad it went well for you!

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Thanks DF! I was a little nervous that she was going to be upset with me because I was soooo intense in my emails 2 weeks ago... but she wasn't at all.

Here's the song I was rocking out to (air-drumming!) as t stood there and watched me from her door before I noticed her:

I got really angry with myself for dumping the previous on y'all. Thank you for accepting it so graciously, and for being kind.

Goodnight, all. Have a pleasant rest of day/evening/morning.

You should read some modern sf. And there's some excellent fantasy around these days, too, without hugging mums

Crocus i don't know if you saw my post about The WWW Trilogy by Robert J. sawyer.Just wondering if you have read it, as that short story you posted reminded me of it.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/WWW_Trilogy

Oh, I'm sorry, I did see the post and then I went to have a look at the books and then I probably saw something shiny and forgot to reply.... Anyway, no, I haven't, though I have read at least one novel by Sawyer. I have added these to my To-read pile

White-winged doves on my patio table a few minutes ago.... this pic doesn't do justice to how bright the white stripe on their wings actually is. And the blue around their eyes is so pretty.

We started deep-cleaning the house today, getting ready for the appraisal and for my mother and sis-in-law's visit. Not fun, but.... at the same time, with hubby actually on board and helping me, we got the biggest room in the house done today after I got home from therapy. What a sense of accomplishment! It feels good to sit in a nice, clean un-cluttered room, feels like it did when we first moved in!! (At least, this room does!) But we did the biggest room first, so the rest of them should be a piece of cake. It's not that big of a house, after all!

Art, could you and your h come to my house? I've got a back bedroom so full of castoff junk we can't even walk in there. I also need to declutter clothes, mount laundry has turned into a range.

6 year old boy in a cast day 2 and he is already begging to take it off of him. It is going to be a long couple of weeks!

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In honor of Chopin who stopped by this week: "squirrel!"

I am reading a book called "managing client anger - what to do when a client is angry with you" by (and I am not making this up) Aphrodite Matsakis.
I am trying to see how many of these things the first one has tried at me.

With that name, she practically invites it. esp from crazy people!

It seems for every good moment I have, I have 100 more that are heart wrenchingly horrible. Gah, life sucks. I really hate life. I just don't see the point in life. Anyone mind telling me the point in life? Because I certainly can't see it!
I'm so messed-up. Sorry.
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They are beautiful!!

Good lord, what do the two of you have against the Greeks?

Plus, she obviously knows something about love.

Yikes!!! What in the world was in the mind of the parent that would name a child that?!! I know you can legally change your name if you want to, but that opens a whole new door to more questions.

Agreed.

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