Couch 113 - Sofa, So Good

I never just watch, though. I'm on here, and playing a facebook game, and folding laundry while watching lol

It's never too much information if you feel you need to talk about it. Just look at how much I shared. I will probably freak out at sharing that all. So never feel bad for giving information out. We're here to listen!

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(((Trailrunner))) i think i remember a similar thing happening with a cousin. I can understand a child not comprehending this cause and effect, but for an adult its just stupid and sadistic.

I loved being here tonight, but I am going to bed. Night. Hope all of you sleep well.

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My mind remembers it in extreme detail. It was a point that a part of me slip from me.

Thank you for acknowledging it. That means a whole lot to me!!

Found my test results from my recent labs today. My cholesterol is good but my triglycerides are high for the first time ever. So I downloaded the Couch to 5K app. Haven't even broken a sweat yet, but just that one step feels like I can go out in the heat tomorrow and hike my fat azz around the block. (I'm noticing my new pet phrase is 'my fat azz' and I don't like it!) Maybe my knees and ankles won't like me very much, but hopefully my heart will love me.

Yes - I have a few of memories of that sort of thing too. For me, I remember it seeming worse when I couldn't save my sibling.
But I also just sort of always thought that sort of thing was usual and one simply had to become an adult as the only thing for it.
I was surprised when the one therapist said that was not an especially usual way to look at it. That some people actually liked being children.

That app is awesome!! You will amazing!! Go gettum!!

Spell "fat" as "phat" and it will sound a lot cooler.

Omg. One time - by some miracle! - my mother drove me to school, we were maybe 50 feet away and i opened the car door and threw up into the street. Then continued on to school. I could not be an inconvenience.

Oh my goodness??

Thank you!!

It's only been 2 years that I actually realized that what I grew up in and where I am now is considered "wrong" abusive. I'm so thankful for the pieces that have come together (God) and my counselor that has helped me understand that this. Changes are happening and you all are helping me more than you know.

The downstairs neighbour said this morning he liked my hair. I cut it myself, it looks atrocious, but I hadn't put it up this morning. He said its wild and woolly!! What do I make of that?

I'm so sorry!! I know that feeling, there are better things ahead!! ((( hug )))

Here's a picture of my trail!

I don't know that it is all bad - I mean I don't condone doing that sort of thing to small children (and I would try to kill anyone who touched my pets in an unkind fashion), but I now do possess some great abilities to not visibly react and can be extremely calm and handle all sorts of things with no external emotion - which in some parts of my job is quite handy.

Maybe if I heard it happening to someone else without me experiencing it, it might be different. It's very different when you can recount and recall every small detail of the episode. No offense intended. Just wanted to say that for validation.

Hope you understand.

Sorry? Like SD I have emoji-blindness and can't quite work out what it is conveying. I have it with people too, it does have a name, the inability to read others emotions.

No offense but I am not sure what you mean. I can recall great detail about some incidents - some are blurred, some only the humiliation lingers (there was always humiliation involved - but sometimes that is the only part that is remembered - not the details). Some I don't know if I actually remember or if my parents just told the stories of what they did to us so often that it seems like I remember.
But again, I learned I could live through it, appear impervious, laugh at it with them, be able to do what needed to be done and so on - good skills for someone who has my job.

But I was responding to the idea that it was an adult being sadistic - which it of course can be, just does not have to be in my experience of it.

And now I am thinking of Monty Python's Life of Brian:
BEN: Now, take my case. They hung me up here five years ago. Every night, they take me down for twenty minutes, then they hang me up again, which I regard as very fair, in view of what I done, and, if nothing else, it's taught me to respect the Romans, and it's taught me... that you'll never get anywhere in this life, unless you're prepared to do a fair day's work for a fair day's pay!

My heart hurts. Please forgive me if I did not understand what you said. What you said here rings true with me too. Just trying to be enough, obedient, compliment, whatever it took to feel ok. Safe. Imagined love. Too many thoughts right now!!

Please forgive me if I did not understand your post and hurt you!

No I am fine. Don't worry about it.

May I please send you a hug!!

No. I am not a huggy sort. Hug the others who are more huggable than am I.

Ok. I'll hug you in my heart. Thank you for being who you are!

Danger, TrailRunner, danger! Beware of the stopdog.

You can send her an anti-hug. ))((

Or better yet, just nod at her.

Or make like the rest of us and try to make her Ack. Post 623 might do it.

Ya know. I'm from the South and that is just what we do!! We will fry you something, which I don't eat but did for my husband because he was being whiney, and then we hug you. That is just who we are. We do it with much love!!