How can you work on issues if you calm down by journaling?

I'm not sure if the title makes sense but I know others experience this too. It was an intense session dealing with difficult stuff I want to work more on. After posting on here and journaling, I don't feel the intensity as much. One part is starting to think "maybe that stuff doesn't bother as much as it did Tuesday at my session. Maybe I don't need to work on it after all."

However, I DO want and need to work on it. So, how do I, or you, prevent the new, watered down feelings from taking over, thus minimizing the problem? Maybe I'm imagining this as a problem, but I see it as a kind of loophole, but not for my benefit. Does anyone have a clue what I mean? I may be complicating a simple question!

I just wanted to let you know that I know EXACTLY what you mean. I don't have any answers, though. I figured that the "watered-down" feeling was the goal--to not have the thing bother me with as much intensity was as good as it was going to get. I still don't know if I figured that right.

I think Argo is correct. The watered-down feeling won't last; you will be reminded eventually that you do need to work on whatever. Your current state of mind is not your permanent state of mind.

I know exactly what you mean!

I also don't have answers though.

I give my journaling on sessions to my T on the next session though so she can pick up patterns and know more about how I felt.

I sometimes reread and spot patterns too.

I find that eventually I'm reminded anyway that I need to work on this and that.

I agree with the others. Feelings about pretty much anything come and go. There are times when they are stronger and times when they wane again. You had an intense session and processed some of it, and the emotions waned for a while. There is nothing wrong with that at all - it is a *good* thing for the intense feelings to recede for a while. Human beings suffer negative health effects from the physiological stress of sustained intense emotions. It just isn't good for us.

Journaling helped me a lot in t. I think sometimes it is easy to get caught up in the ins and outs of the T relationship, but the most powerful growth tends to come when we process things slowly on our own. Growth doesn't occur as a direct result of the relationship - it is the inner changes that come from the processing of the material and therapeutic relationship that give rise to personal growth.

Processing results in change, and I think sometimes emailing can block that progress. Journaling allows things to be expressed and then left alone for a while. Later - perhaps an hour or two or even a few days - you can return to it, re-think it, process it some more and perhaps even have more insights or come to a different understanding yet again. Journaling gives the space for gradual processing that builds upon itself, without an end point or a pause.
On the other hand email sets the understanding of that moment in stone, and requires waiting for a response. It can set that moment of understanding as *the* new reality, and doesn't lend itself as readily to further processing or growth until the other person has responded in some manner.

Sorry, just another thought - I wonder if when emailing you maintain that heightened emotional intensity because it is on 'pause' while waiting for a reply? I can see how that would provide a powerful (but ultimately false) state of connection to your T, for you.
On that other hand, with journaling, maybe you processed it as much as you needed to for that moment in time and so can set aside for now. This is a much healthier way or processing material.

Not being severely upset and/or feeling emotional or disturbed by something doesn't mean there is no issues to work on. I am rarely upset for more than a day or a few about anything and typically don't fall apart but it doesn't mean I have nothing to work on. Actually most productive work I did with t was when I wasn't upset at all and there was nothing bad going on. Last session I had was very productive but I currently don't have any intense negative emotions about anything at all. You can maybe discuss issues with your t even if your feelings aren't intense. IMHO

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I very much agree with Divine. Emotions do not have to be involved in the moment in order to classify an issue as 'meaningful' or 'valid'.

Equally importantly, everything that evokes an intense emotional response is not necessarily an 'issue'.

I can relate to journaling (or even processing something outside of therapy),and having it no longer feel "valid" in the moment to talk about. This has been an ongoing conversation with t in recent sessions. I have been meaning to bring something in to talk about, but I'm worried she will either think it's all still very valid and active in the moment, or she will wonder why I'm bringing it to her if it's not something I'm actively struggling with. She keeps reminding me that anything can be talked about at any time. She says it doesn't have to be something that's a huge issue s at the moment, though those are ok too..

That's growth, Rainbow. It's discovering that you have a healthy mechanism by which you can sit with your emotions, let them run their course, and then be able to work on the underlying issues. It's discovering that not everything that feels intense is actually something that you have to "do" something about; emotions come and go. If the underlying issue is still there, it is still there to work on even without intense emotions. It's discovering that you may not need to contact your therapist in the moment for every strong emotion you feel; you can sit through the emotions on your own now moreso than you once could.

I know what you mean except I reach this less-intense space through meditating rather than journaling.

I guess the only thing I can say is that this watered-down space is actually helpful, in that, if I really pay attention to it, I have access to a much wider range / subtler set of feelings and emotions.

So, bringing those up in therapy -- even when it has seemed like doing so has lacked that energy / intensity of those major emotions -- has been helpful because T has then offered some solid insights about them.

In my case, it also felt like a much more packed therapy session because I don't feel like my T can do much when I'm just overwhelmed or in the grip of some intense emotion because I just don't have enough awareness of what's going on inside of me to tell her about it.

So, being in this less intense space and still examining those watered-down emotions has greatly helped because it brings up stuff that otherwise would never have come to light had I always been feeling intense and overwhelmed. It also has me feeling more like an adult and 'in control' (which feels good to me).

It does at times feel like a risk though because a large part of my brain equates overwhelming intensity with excitement and non-intensity with boredom -- so, I keep feeling like I'm going to bore the crap out of myself if I talk about stuff that's not intense and then I'll run out of things to talk about and then therapy would've been pointless etc. But, that's mostly just my peculiar craziness talking.

If I really push myself to pay attention to whatever constitutes that watered-down stuff, a whole lot of things start bubbling up which in turn make for a really productive therapy session. I won't say it's been easy though because it's super hard to train my mind to turn away from the idea that intensity = awesome and non-intensity = bleh.

To me journaling WAS working on my issues. The act of journaling itself helped. And you can go back later and read what you've written objectively and that has a benefit in seeing pattern you haven't before

Thank you. I see what you mean and it makes sense.

I'm realizing that fact this week.

I am glad that so many understand my post. Do you let your T read everything in your journal? Just wondering.

Your comments about journaling vs emailing are very interesting. When I email after a session, though, I'm not waiting for a response because my T rarely writes about my processing. She will wait a few days and wish me a nice weekend, and maybe write one line about what I wrote. I'm surprised that it's almost Friday and I didn't have to email T.

You may be right. Emailing after my session continues the intensity for most of the week.

True a Mllll
Thanks for sharing,

Wow! Thank you for the compliment!

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You don't have to do all your therapy in T's office. Also, you need a strategy to cope with the days between sessions. (I was very bad at that.)

If you feel better after journaling, do it. You can always read your journal to T later.

Thanks so much for this thread. I think this is just the coping mechanism I need. I did write a poem last week, and I felt some catharsis there. I hate the waiting between emails that makes me feel powerless and small. The journaling allows for self-control, and maybe will allow some of the more intense "flavors" of my emotions to mellow a bit before next session.

Your situation happens to me frequently as I journal most every day. By the time I've put it all down on paper, the intensity has subsided. It's quite frustrating to me, bc like you, I feel I still need to work on the issue in therapy w/my T.

My T told me once that it's okay if I don't feel so emotional about what I journaled; to bring what I wrote to therapy and read it so s/he can hear the words behind the emotions and get a sense of how my mind was working at the time. (Yup, I have to read what I journal out loud ). The first time I read what I'd journaled, I was a bit nervous, but now I understand what my T was wanting. I read the words as I wrote them, with all of the emotion and intensity I felt when I was feeling the need to journal in the first place.

Your decision, of course, but maybe try not to second guess yourself...? If you were feeling intensely about something, it's an issue that needs attention. I think it's still good to bring what was bothering/upsetting you to therapy and try to explain what you were feeling at the time you journaled. Once I start telling T (I don't always take my journal in) what was going on at the time, more often than not we find lots of helpful stuff that needed to be verbalized.

I don't think you're complicating a simple question.

Yep, I do, though I do not journal every thing.

I have really gotten into journaling and writing down everything so I never forget. It can be a way of getting things out and maybe processing them in a different way. You could always share your journal or write things down for your T and then work on them with her. You could try writing things down as you are in session. I don't know if I am being helpful here but I hope you can work on issues and journal if thats what you want.