Using PC to avoid reaching out to T

I've realized something that I do. I post on here some of the really embarrassing or difficult things that I don't want to share with a real person.. (ie. my T). When I have painful questions to come up I can post here b/c there is no true threat of someone seeing my pain.. Anyone else have this problem

Oh I post here to avoid being more open in group therapy (which I completely suck at). I need that cushion of time to think before speaking (something I can't get in group). Maybe I'll just give up on group (something I constantly debate) and use PC instead.

I've been better about disclosing in individual therapy, but even that took time (much easier to do on here first).

Maybe you can practice here and slowly get better in the real sessions? That's kind of what I did.

Sidony

I agree. this forum gives me time to figure out what i think and want to say.

yes, but that's what can actually keep me from posting something, Because I know my T wants to hear it from me and uncensored, and I think that's good. Also, posting can diffuse the emotions and I'd rather take the whole package to T, then post here afterwards.

that's just me

Thats true too. maybe thats my problem. I never experience emotion in the session.

I find that since I've become an active poster on PC, I write in my journal less. I don't think I like that. Sometimes I post things here that later I wish I hadn't, but we can't go back and edit things after one hour, so then I am stuck with what I put out there. I think I need to journal more. Some things are more appropriate for journals than dumping here, because they can impinge on other people's feelings or have a level of detail and complexity not necessarily appropriate for a message board.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
ECHOES said:
yes, but that's what can actually keep me from posting something, Because I know my T wants to hear it from me and uncensored, and I think that's good. Also, posting can diffuse the emotions and I'd rather take the whole package to T, then post here afterwards.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Yeah sometimes I save information. But sometimes it helps to practice on here too. Last night I remember choosing to post something in my private journal instead of starting a thread on it.

I told my therapist about talking on the forums here, how I could do that and get some of the benefits that are supposed to be provided in group therapy. He said that was good that I could do this here, since it meant I'd eventually be able to in group also. He always seems to have an answer for things as I teeter on the edge of quitting group (it's much harder to do this in person than in writing).

Sidony

I don't know that I did that to ever avoid, but with my PTSD, I have to prepare for anything I can.

I think alot of times I would run stuff by PC members to get a feel of what I think T might say or how he'd react. It actually helped my thought processes because I'd then go to the next step and alot of times at T I'd have an answer more than, "I don't know."

KD

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
kimmydawn said:
I think alot of times I would run stuff by PC members to get a feel of what I think T might say or how he'd react. It actually helped my thought processes because I'd then go to the next step and alot of times at T I'd have an answer more than, "I don't know."

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

That's a great use for PC! I get sick of how many times I say "I don't know" in therapy. Suddenly I'm remembering that old Nickelodeon kids' show where they'd pour green slime on you whenever you said "I don't know." If that happened in therapy, I'd take on a permanent green tinge....

Sid

I'm sure I've posted some things here to avoid. But I usually get reassurance here, I unload next session.

I just need a push sometimes

you said:

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I post on here some of the really embarrassing or difficult things that I don't want to share with a real person.. (ie. my T).

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> If' it's all right to say- ---- I was thinking..... maybe this could be a practice for you from here on out.... post here, then run it by your T....??? -- that way you have a feel for it already since you shared with some here.....

well -- just an idea......

It is so important to share the "big" stuff with a T. as that is most likely the main reason one is seeking help and how can a T. help if the "big" stuff stays hidden from them.......

Good luck with your therapy, I wish you healing and happiness.

esthersvirtue-

mandy

Been thinking about this and wanted to say that I think it's important to take things to T first.

Then bring them here, keeping in mind that topics can be returned to time and time again in therapy.

But I think T needs and deserves our initial words about a topic/issue.

Just my thoughts.

I've "Practised" here with a few things. I don't rely on other peoples take on what I post as to whether I would take it to T. Its more that I've practised a way of expressing it.

Sometimes I practise it here first, others it just happens to come up in T first. I thought at first a couple of yrs back that I was only tackling stuff online and not in T, but with time, and trust, I am tackling stuff in T , it just happens with time.

I wouldn't worry to much, if the will is there, then the want to tackle in T will come too.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
sidony said:
That's a great use for PC! I get sick of how many times I say "I don't know" in therapy. Suddenly I'm remembering that old Nickelodeon kids' show where they'd pour green slime on you whenever you said "I don't know." If that happened in therapy, I'd take on a permanent green tinge....

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

My T "outlawed" my saying "I don't know" :-( and gave me time to figure out what the answer was, both of us agreeing it was in here someplace :-) She taught me to "check my heart." Took forever the first 100 times to even find my heart much less check it! LOL

I to bring stuff here and not T. Though there have been a few times that PC has given me the courage to bring something to T. It is easier here. I know you understand my struggles - does T? We are strangers - T is right there live in the room in front of me. I too say I don't know quite a bit. T has only called me on it once. T is hard.

<font color="green">I will say 'I don't know,' at times just to get past it. I am sure it sounds ridiculous to her but I will grind out an 'I don't know' only to immediately answer the original question. I suppose it is a form of resistance but since I can't get past it any other way... I just spit it out and keep working.

As for using the forums first, second, or last, I sometimes find new issues as I prepare a post or as I read replies from y'all. I think anything that helps you to get it out where you can see it and process it is good. </font>

(((((((((((((((( EV ))))))))))))))))

A T blamed me for not crying more. Ugh. He hadn't got a freakin clue.
Sorry for whining.