On being touched.

This doesnt really belong in this forum but....

I work as a shop assistant. Worked in the same large supermarket for 12yrs now. The problem is that some customers when wanting to ask you something, will reach out and touch you. It may only be a hand on a shoulder, but I find myself pulling back in a way they can see my body language is saying "STOP! Don't touch".

I can't stand there and say "oh before you approach me, I want you to know I do not like being touched" It all happens so fast.

I've not have a customer say anything to me yet in response to my pulling away, but I do expect one day a customer to take offense and say something sarcastic to me, and all shops carry the motto, "Customer is always right", but in this, I feel I do have a say. I am not employed to be a social worker.

I wondered what others would do or think of this situation??

Most of those that touch are men, of middle age to elderly.

i think you do have a say. it is your body and your personal space. i dont like it when strangers touch me in any sort of way. espescially men. it too makes me very uncomfortable. and i have been known to snap at people about it if i feel it is "inappropriate". and yes, it was an older man. and no i was not polite at all about it and didn't feel my response needed explanation. it too happened in the workplace. he came up behind me while i was working and stood very, very close to my back with both hands on my sholders and i was in front of a machine with no where to move away from him. he began talking to me and i shuddered. then in that instant i flew around and faced him and told him if he was standing close enough for me to feel his breath on my neck he needed to back the %#@&#! up. he did tell the supervisor that i cursed at him. but when i explained myself, all was understood. so yes is the answer i have for you. your body, your space. noone has the right to put there hands on you.

recluse1

Thanks recluse.

Are the customers doing it? Or coworkers? When I worked at Best Buy, a coworker got fired for just putting their arm around someone while talking to them.
If a customers comes up and touches you to get your attention, that'll be fairly common, and hard to make it stop because you won't see them that often.
If it's a coworker, you have a right to say you don't wish to be touched, if they continue, it can be harassment, because you've now made it known it bothers you.

i feel the same way. i do NOT like being touched or people even invading my space!! don't worry about a customer who may someday be offended & i don't the the customer is always right policy should apply to being touched! what if a customer wanted to give you a peck on the cheek, etc. where would that end!! nope - you have an absolute RIGHT as far as i see to tell the customers to BACK OFF...politely of course

mouse, I think you have every right to not want to be touched by random customers. The first step is when they invade your physical space and stand too close to you. Can you watch for this early sign they are coming in for a touch and back off as they invade your space but before they touch? Maybe that will help. I live in the northwest part of the U.S. and this does not happen much here. We are kind of standoffish here and keep our physical distance from strangers.

The shop can have it's motto, but you get to set your own personal boundaries, mouse.

I would recoil automatically. I wouldn't even have thought about "boundaries" when that used to happen to me a lot but that's what its about. And these men should know better.
A "manager" who was OLD (and I was early 20's ) used to .... ugh. just ugh.
That's one of the reasons I stay mostly in my cave

((Mouse))

I WOULD HATE BEING TOUCHED!!!

This is a running joke between me & my husband. I just don't go for touchy, feely type of interactions with people I don't know.



PS I think you can ask people to remove their slimy hands. The customer is always right does not apply to touching. It is a violation of personal space, IMO

Yep.

Thanks for the replys. I at first wondered if I was being rude, thinking that some of these customers are just trying to be friendly, but I guess thats their issues and I have aright to do what is right for me.

Sister I think your simple statement re asking for them to remove their hands is appropriate, thanks.

((((((fuzzybear))))))