The Couch 120: The Missing Element

Thanks for all the sympathy last night re my friend. I know that the default reaction is always "It's not your fault, it's theirs", but nobody is at fault here. I'm just too much. And I shouldn't be saying even this much, it's as if I am betraying them. It's just that I've been sad about this for about eight weeks now.

Anyway, it's just how things are. People have been asking me several times on this and the previous couch how they can help or support me... I do appreciate the question, after all I'm the one who's always blathering on about how we're all individuals, even the weird old guy in the back, but I have been thinking and cogitating and pondering and I truly don't know. It's like defining science fiction - there's no one good definition, but when you're reading a sf novel you know that it is sf, even though somebody else might not agree.

If that makes sense.

He drinks Gevalia, right? I think you've mentioned that before. Tell him that I can always be persuaded to send care packages ;-)

If I lived in your country I'd go to lunch with you I understand the nobody is at fault, sometimes things happen. Perhaps nothing can be done that would be helpful other than me saying, I'm here for you - and I hope you can one day realize you aren't too much for some people and you are worth caring about. You might disagree now, but it's true.

T again in an hour. I saw her less than 24 hours ago. Sigh.

*hides in couch* Someone pull me out in about half an hour so I can get myself there? Thanks.

Hes probably stocked up now, having just returned. Im probably addicted to just the smell of that coffee - you can almost take a bite out of it as you enter the room. I better go get ready. First session back - already feels weird.

Oh no - my invisible friend's name is Erasmus.

I have too many invisible friends to list their names.....

Yeah - I have No. 2 this afternoon for the first time back. I hope she hasn't decided to dye her hair purple, wear leather, or become less competent.

I just dyed my hair purple.... ha. Well, the top is a cool toned severely dark brown and the under is a dark black/vibrant purple. It's prettier than I described.

I'm having a pretty bad week but that cracked me up

My friend does her hair that way and it alwaus looks amazing!
I had my hair ombre purple then ombre blue for a while. But my hair is dark and curly and to get it to take up dye I have to bleach it til.its practically straw. It goes straight for a year after . I quit because I missed my curls.

I wonder if I would notice if the woman dyed her hair or wore leather.
She did tell me one time she always planned on having long grey hair in braids to increase her image as an earth mother but her hair did not turn grey. I was so shocked by her description of herself as an earth mother - I forgot to check out her hair. She is the least maternal person I have met-let alone earth mothery.

I don't know what I would do if my described herself as her image being an 'earth mother'... I'm laughing now but I'd probably flee if it happened to me in person.

Happy to be of service!

Also attempting to rupture my own ovarian cyst with horse hormones was a dumbass idea. I think my uterus us saying " she is such an idiot, I'm just going to punch my way through her abdominal wall like an alien and walk away"
That's how it feels anyway.

I just had one rupture this week.

I used to think my T was sort of Earth Mother-ish and then she walked in one day, threw her phone on her desk and said "I know I had them on purpose but my kids are f#$%ing ***#$&&s!!"

Changed that forever

I now envision her like this.

There is nothing earth motherly about my T. Human mother yes, lol but she doesn't enjoy nature or anything I would describe as earth motherly 😊

I am laughing because I have said almost that exact same thing.

Ack - that is even more frightening than she is in real life - and that is hard to do.
She more looks like dr. ruth but without the warmth.

I have promised myself that if I get this place pretty much organized today, I will go to the local shelter and adopt a cat I saw there this weekend. Then junior cat can have his long coveted promotion to senior cat.

That is good incentive. More cats is always better.

Short, older, and talks about sex a lot?

I can't believe Dr. Ruth is still alive.

I don't know if she looks like she talks about sex a lot - and she only talks about it some but in rather coarse terms. I once had to explain that as a lesbian, I was not often in need of great vocabulary to describe the male member.