The Couch 120: The Missing Element

That's him. He is usually a bit of a crab pot but he doesn't usually bite like that.

We are back from the beach with 2 smelly dogs and one covered in burrs because I refuse to clip his coat. The corgi cross hates having a bath but he is tired so maybe he won't put up a fight. The puppy loves the bath and i'lll get most of the burrs out in the bath. It was a perfect distraction from this morning.

((BB)) Ouch plus. I've been bitten on the finger by a cockatoo can't imagine the pain on the lips

Birds are tetchy little bastards

Plumbing issue has resurfaced and I will have to call the plumber back AGAIN. My stomach is already in knots. I'm so tired of having people in the house.

So my N mom only helps with babysit maybe once or twice a year , she took my son last night for a few hours to help so I could go to group. It always triggers me.. I try to be the kindest I can , I go to pick him up, she completely ignores me, texting on her phone while I'm trying to reach out and connect for a few minutes.. like I'm invisable. I try not to ask her for anything, it always triggers.. but she is my mom ,,, she does stuff wtih and for all the other grandkids all the time, weekly and its rare for me and my kids and its never initiated by her.. its sad, but I'm learning to change my expecations .

So... forgive me for going on about this, but here's a new thought about this thing with my friend: in another thread people were talking about how somebody can be upset or frustrated with you about something you've done (or, as the case may be, not done) but that doesn't necessarily mean that they reject you. I still have to change my attitude and be careful with what I talk about, which really sucks because this is the one person in the world other than T I've been mostly honest with, but still.

Please ignore me, I'm just thinking out loud. I know it's irrelevant.

So I went inpatient last Friday because I was having a lot of suicidal thoughts. Just got out of the hospital today, and starting the partial hospitalization program on Monday. I feel better now, and I'm glad I'm out of the hospital. I missed like 30 pages on the couch! It's good to be home again.

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Just realized I have holes in my shirt :/ Not sure if I caught it on something, the dry cleaner did it, or what... but T is in half an hour... this should be interesting. I feel embarrassed. Nothing I can do about it now I guess.

Welcome home, ilc.

It's good to see you, ilc. Welcome back.

Good luck with T, Ellahmae. I hope you'll have a good session.

therapyishelping777, that sounds really harsh... you are a good mom, though. Your son won't have to go through the same thing you did.

I'm not sure that anything is irrelevant on the Couch.

Thanks Crocus.. my mom has been harsh my entire life.. I should know better than to expect anything other.. its sadly disappointing but at least now I have a name for it.

Ok- those of you with significant others. Say you have a 1400 bill, before you pay it, would you find it important just to let your other half know that you are sending in a check for that much money???

Never mind the fact that we aren't even supposed to pay it, insurance is supposed to send us a check and we sign it over! Gah!!

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If it impacts how other bills will be paid, for instance that would wipe out our shared account for household expenses, then I would mention it.

Then why are you paying it? Plus your h is your partner, not your dad. Altho i can relate to your feeling.

(((Crocus))) a lesson I have yet to learn. Being disappointed in someone you love, or them being disappointed in you, doesn't have to signify the end of the relationship. I tend to cut ties completely rather than have scary confrontations about things, because I am a stupid chicken and would rather bury my head in the sand than have a frank conversation.

The things you post here don't seem irrelevant to me, I really enjoy them.

I hope things start looking up soon!

My h doesn't understand how it works when out insurance sends us checks to pay for something. So he sent out a check to pay the bill.. Thinking we just deposit the check insurance gives us.

I just think that a heads up would be nice. A Oh btw honey I sending out lots of money today.

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Well then everything i just said bounces off you and sticks to him, sorry! Crap! What a bother!

SO are you saying that your friend completely rejected you because of something you did (or not did), and didn't bother trying to work it through? Yeah...that isn't a very good friend. I spent about a year extremely angry about my parents' divorce (i was an adult), and took it out on my best friend/roommate at the time. I snapped at her ALL THE TIME, and was generally unpleasant. She wasn't very happy about this, and a few times I would apologize--but i was TERRIFIED i would lose her friendship because i was so awful.

Years later, I finally told her how much i appreciated that she didn't end our friendship because of my awful-ness. It made me sad for a long time that I took my anger out on her, but she said she knew I was going through a rough time, and basically just beared with it with me.

I 10,000% know I have an amazing friend.

Adopting New Cat has made me miss senior cat a huge amount. I think junior cat may have to stay junior cat.

O, the day I had!

Good news, brother picked me up and paid for that expensive flea collar, Seresto, some trash bags and Raid. He was calm and nice to me, "Get whatever you need."

The collar is on Emmy, I hope it works! I have the receipt in case it doesn't. Wow. $70.

He had wondered why I was afraid to tell him about the �� problem. I took a risk and admitted that I was afraid he would decide I can't handle it and make me move. He told me not to worry about that. He said the house looks as nice as it ever did. He said not to worry about telling him things like that. !!!

Omg. I'm so relieved!

On to tomorrow, taking Emmy to the groomer, finishing stuffing things in bags, covering wax table furniture n electronics, taping food cupboards shut...things like that. Bombing tomorrow. Omg, I almost forgot about my oxygen tank. I called the oxygen people to find out if the tank can hang out in the shed...it's going to be 90 degrees. Do not want anything to blow up! No combustibles allowed in the house...leftover paint/deck sealer needs to go outside, I think.
This is a lot of work and a pain in the neck. I want my house back! I want my bed back! I'm sleeping in my chair...this will be night number three...

DD threw a fit when I told her she needed to bring my good vacuum back here. I need it! "No more chores!" She told me. You borrowed it. Oh well...she's fine now. I'll report how it went tomorrow.

Evening couchies! I've had a productive evening since I got home from work, cooked some corn on the cob and made spaghetti, loaded the dishwasher, put a load of towels in the washer, fed the birds, and helped my son fill out his paperwork for work (he's been working there on an internship and they want to put him on payroll already how about that!)

Speaking of my son. Several months ago he was wanting to go to therapy, but then he changed his mind, and he's been doing really well since he graduated and started working. But now he'll be starting college soon and working too, and he's feeling the pressure of big changes I think and is talking about it again. We found an LPC that's covered by my insurance for the 5 free EAP appointments and isn't far from home, that specializes in kids his age so I'm going to call tomorrow and see about making him an appointment. At least we can do 5 at no charge, but will have to pay out of pocket for anything over that (our deductible is so high, almost $3,000 per family member, that we'll never meet it. I don't get it, y'know, working for a division of the insurance company, you'd think we'd have good insurance, but no.) I want him to be happy though, and get help if he needs it, so I'll do whatever I have to do to make it happen.

Woops, sounds like the washer just shut off, time to go move the towels to the drier so I can get them dried, folded & put away before I go to bed. Later couchies!