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  #701  
Old Aug 11, 2016, 11:24 PM
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CantExplain CantExplain is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ellahmae View Post
I can't do this anymore. I don't even know why I'm posting here. Everything is crushing and I really just don't care. I texted T. She's probably in a late session with a client that's been having crisis' quite frequently. I want to scream at her and tell her I'm in one, but I can't. I won't. So I just sit here and cry, when I should be writing. I don't want to be left alone with these feelings. She understands so where is she?
((EllahMae))

One of the hardest lessons I had to learn was that a T cannot read minds. Some have shown quite incredible ability to misunderstand me.

If you can't reach your T, maybe there is an emergency support organisation you could call?

Maybe we should all ask our Ts who to call in a mental health emergency, so as to be ready for the worst.
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  #702  
Old Aug 11, 2016, 11:39 PM
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ilikecats ilikecats is offline
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How do you deal with knowing there's a secret but not knowing what it is? I'm so insanely curious. My mom mentioned tonight that she has a secret about two of my aunts out of the three. No one knows but the husbands and the sisters. Not even their kids. She said it's a secret that could ruin the family. She said I don't want to know, and that it could change my view of my aunts. She said telling me would ruin her relationship with them. I know it's not her secret to tell, and I would never want to ruin her relationships with her sisters, but I can't stop thinking about what the secrets might be. I don't want her to tell me, but at the same time I do. How do I get over this and stop obsessing about it? I keep imagining these terrible things, and I don't know what to think. What should I do?

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  #703  
Old Aug 11, 2016, 11:43 PM
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ilikecats ilikecats is offline
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Also, how do you deal with holding other peoples' secrets? I know eight secrets about people, and part of me wants to tell someone. But I know it's not my secret to tell. But it's hard for me to hold it in and not talk about it. How do you deal with that?

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  #704  
Old Aug 11, 2016, 11:47 PM
Anonymous37844
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I don't know why people have this need to control other people by saying they know a secret and they can't tell. Just keep it to themselves and don't cause unrest by teasing.
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  #705  
Old Aug 11, 2016, 11:48 PM
Anonymous37844
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ilikecats View Post
Also, how do you deal with holding other peoples' secrets? I know eight secrets about people, and part of me wants to tell someone. But I know it's not my secret to tell. But it's hard for me to hold it in and not talk about it. How do you deal with that?

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I have a terrible memory and no interest in secrets so I usually forget about the secret the minute I hear it.
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  #706  
Old Aug 11, 2016, 11:50 PM
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ilikecats ilikecats is offline
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Originally Posted by BunYip View Post
I don't know why people have this need to control other people by saying they know a secret and they can't tell. Just keep it to themselves and don't cause unrest by teasing.
The reason my mom mentioned she knows a secret is because I was telling her about how it's hard for me to hold other peoples' secrets and I wanted advice on how to deal with it. She told me she has secrets about my aunts to help me feel like it's normal and something everyone deals with. She wasn't trying to control anything.

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  #707  
Old Aug 11, 2016, 11:52 PM
Anonymous37844
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ilikecats View Post
The reason my mom mentioned she knows a secret is because I was telling her about how it's hard for me to hold other peoples' secrets and I wanted advice on how to deal with it. She told me she has secrets about my aunts to help me feel like it's normal and something everyone deals with. She wasn't trying to control anything.

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Sorry to misunderstand. My default view is mother = deceit/control.
Glad you have good relationship with your mum
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ilikecats
  #708  
Old Aug 11, 2016, 11:54 PM
Anonymous37844
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The puppy just stole half of my ham and cheese sandwich. I may have to put a smear of vegemite on t deter him. And I just won't eat that corner.
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  #709  
Old Aug 12, 2016, 12:08 AM
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atisketatasket atisketatasket is offline
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Originally Posted by BunYip View Post
The puppy just stole half of my ham and cheese sandwich. I may have to put a smear of vegemite on t deter him. And I just won't eat that corner.
Why use vegemite when you can use
?
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  #710  
Old Aug 12, 2016, 12:09 AM
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atisketatasket atisketatasket is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ilikecats View Post
How do you deal with knowing there's a secret but not knowing what it is? I'm so insanely curious. My mom mentioned tonight that she has a secret about two of my aunts out of the three. No one knows but the husbands and the sisters. Not even their kids. She said it's a secret that could ruin the family. She said I don't want to know, and that it could change my view of my aunts. She said telling me would ruin her relationship with them. I know it's not her secret to tell, and I would never want to ruin her relationships with her sisters, but I can't stop thinking about what the secrets might be. I don't want her to tell me, but at the same time I do. How do I get over this and stop obsessing about it? I keep imagining these terrible things, and I don't know what to think. What should I do?

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Great, now I'm curious. I'm guessing spouse-swapping.

Try to forget about it. Or maybe tell her this is bugging you and ask her to reassure you it's nothing too bad.
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ilikecats
  #711  
Old Aug 12, 2016, 12:33 AM
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atisketatasket atisketatasket is offline
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I'm having one of those weeks where I'm curled up in a fetal position inside my head. If that makes sense.
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  #712  
Old Aug 12, 2016, 04:10 AM
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CantExplain CantExplain is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ilikecats View Post
How do you deal with knowing there's a secret but not knowing what it is? I'm so insanely curious. My mom mentioned tonight that she has a secret about two of my aunts out of the three. No one knows but the husbands and the sisters. Not even their kids. She said it's a secret that could ruin the family.
It's probably only the usual family secrets. I bet you'd be disappointed if you found out.

http://www.theonion.com/article/fami...be-boring-1263
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  #713  
Old Aug 12, 2016, 04:39 AM
Anonymous37941
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ilikecats View Post
Also, how do you deal with holding other peoples' secrets? I know eight secrets about people, and part of me wants to tell someone. But I know it's not my secret to tell. But it's hard for me to hold it in and not talk about it. How do you deal with that?
I think this is one of those things where you might just have to find out what works for you... I'm sorry, that's not very helpful, is it? But for me, it works because if somebody tells me a secret, it makes me feel honoured and proud of being thought worthy of knowing whatever it is, and to be honest it wouldn't occur to me to talk about it with anybody else - that would only cause feelings of shame and unhappiness. It also ties into the fact that I'm very reluctant to tell other people about my own secrets - I'm only safe as long as I'm as quiet as possible, that's a very deep-seated truth for me.

So that's what I mean by it being individual. I simply don't enjoy gossip so for me it's easy not to do it - that's not because I am a better person, it's no different from how I don't like swimming so I don't do it, and that doesn't make me a worse person. I might be a little jealous of people who enjoy swimming, but I don't think they are more morally upstanding for having a different set of hormones.
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  #714  
Old Aug 12, 2016, 04:40 AM
Anonymous37941
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  #715  
Old Aug 12, 2016, 05:11 AM
Anonymous37941
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Some threads. *shakes head in wonder and bafflement*
(Being specific would be against the rules, but I'm sure I'm not the only one whose non is occasionally plussed?)
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  #716  
Old Aug 12, 2016, 06:26 AM
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healed84 healed84 is offline
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Up early this morning going to watch a family member get married in New Jersey and sometime by the ocean, and time with family we actually like! Although I have the next 6hrs to sit next to my husband and stew in the nasty comment my husband said about me a couple of nights ago..

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  #717  
Old Aug 12, 2016, 08:38 AM
stopdog stopdog is offline
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I do enjoy The Onion.
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Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
Oscar Wilde
Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
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  #718  
Old Aug 12, 2016, 10:22 AM
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atisketatasket atisketatasket is offline
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I am heading into campus to inspect my new office. I'm hoping it has a trapdoor down to a shark pool (a la James Bond) to dump students through if need be.
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  #719  
Old Aug 12, 2016, 10:27 AM
Anonymous37941
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Originally Posted by atisketatasket View Post
I am heading into campus to inspect my new office. I'm hoping it has a trapdoor down to a shark pool (a la James Bond) to dump students through if need be.
THAT WOULD BE AWESOME!

I should have gone in this week but I haven't found the energy. I start teaching on Monday.... have been assigned a student who writes in a language I'm not actually qualified to teach in (although I do speak it, natively - not the same thing, though). Joy.
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  #720  
Old Aug 12, 2016, 10:28 AM
stopdog stopdog is offline
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And laser beams - you want the sharks to have frickin' laser beams.

I would have settled for an ejection chair where I could just eject students out of my office in an arc. But so far, my requests have been ignored.
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Please NO @

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
Oscar Wilde
Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
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  #721  
Old Aug 12, 2016, 10:50 AM
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rainbow8 rainbow8 is offline
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Ellahmae, did your T get in touch with you? I hope you're feeling better!
  #722  
Old Aug 12, 2016, 10:52 AM
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rainbow8 rainbow8 is offline
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I just ate a few spoonfuls of Greek yogurt and then saw the date was June 15!! Threw it out of course! Do you think I'll get sick? I'll ask the dr. when I go today. I thought all my yogurt in the fridge was new.
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  #723  
Old Aug 12, 2016, 11:02 AM
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atisketatasket atisketatasket is offline
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Originally Posted by rainbow8 View Post
I just ate a few spoonfuls of Greek yogurt and then saw the date was June 15!! Threw it out of course! Do you think I'll get sick? I'll ask the dr. when I go today. I thought all my yogurt in the fridge was new.
Speaking as someone who regularly ignores expiration dates so long as the food tastes/smells fine, and has eaten Greek yogurt (real Greek yogurt, not American Greek yogurt) several years past its expiration date with no problem...no.

Lots of products with expiration dates are perfectly good for some time afterwards if they are sealed, and if they are perishable, sealed and kept in the freezer/fridge.
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  #724  
Old Aug 12, 2016, 11:13 AM
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unaluna unaluna is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by atisketatasket View Post
I am heading into campus to inspect my new office. I'm hoping it has a trapdoor down to a shark pool (a la James Bond) to dump students through if need be.
Youre the best teacher!
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atisketatasket
  #725  
Old Aug 12, 2016, 11:22 AM
Anonymous37941
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Originally Posted by rainbow8 View Post
I just ate a few spoonfuls of Greek yogurt and then saw the date was June 15!! Threw it out of course! Do you think I'll get sick? I'll ask the dr. when I go today. I thought all my yogurt in the fridge was new.
No, unless it tasted or smelt really bad, it won't make you sick. It is generally a waste to throw away foodstuff because of an expiration date, if it looks, tastes, and smells okay. (Raw meat and fish being exceptions - you don't want to take any risks with those.)
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