[SarahSweden]

I can´t see any other answer to why I never improve than that I´m incurable. I try to improve my life outside therapy as well, one such thing is that I study for a year. But whatever I do I feel just empty and nothing ever improves my situation. When you tell people you feel mentally unwell I often hear and see in information about mental health care that you should "look for help, you can get better". But that´s not the case for me.

I can feel a bit better at short times but on the whole I just feel life is worthless and no therapy or other treatment seems to help me. I don´t care about small improvements as I have already tried so much for several years and nothing ever improves the big picture or substantial things in life.

[ScrewedUpMe]

I wish I could offer some advice but I don't have any answers, just wanted to let you know you are not alone in feeling this. I feel this way too having tried for years and years in therapy. Sometimes I think there have been improvements but I generally have all the exact same issues I had 10 years ago. It is hard. I don't know, maybe one day something will click or the right person or right therapy or right medication will work. We just have to keep trying. Hugs to you

[mostlylurking]

Is your current T the first T you have had, or have you tried others before? I've seen comments here in the forum from people who did not get a whole lot better until they found the right T.

[Demunie]

Originally Posted by SarahSweden

I can´t see any other answer to why I never improve than that I´m incurable. I try to improve my life outside therapy as well, one such thing is that I study for a year. But whatever I do I feel just empty and nothing ever improves my situation. When you tell people you feel mentally unwell I often hear and see in information about mental health care that you should "look for help, you can get better". But that´s not the case for me.

I can feel a bit better at short times but on the whole I just feel life is worthless and no therapy or other treatment seems to help me. I don´t care about small improvements as I have already tried so much for several years and nothing ever improves the big picture or substantial things in life.

I totally relate. I often feel the same. Don't have any advice. Still hoping that things'll get better somehow. I do sports twice a week, i study, i try to eat healthy, and do some stuff i think i should enjoy. Im still numb. And empty. And hopeless.

Possible trigger:

I want to hurt myself badly or kill myself

Anyway. Hope you get better soon. Hang in there

[SarahSweden]

Thanks. As I´m within public health care and my T is the only T at the clinic I´m at I can´t switch T. Also, I wouldn´t risk switching T:s and then just realising that didn´t help either.

Originally Posted by mostlylurking

Is your current T the first T you have had, or have you tried others before? I've seen comments here in the forum from people who did not get a whole lot better until they found the right T.

[LucyG]

Look into nutritional therapy if you want to feel better. If you're on meds, they obviously aren't working. You feel hopeless because your brain isn't producing the neurotransmitters it needs to help you feel happy.

Alternative Mental Health

[AllHeart]

Have you had your vitamin levels checked at all? I know vitamins D & B can be big contributors to mental unwellness if low. Both of my D & B levels were low. It took a while to get the levels up. Now that they are in the normal range I can feel a huge improvement.

It's been a mix of things for me to feel better & find hope (therapy, natural boosts to dopamine and serotonin, vitamins) but I believe the low vitamin levels were the major players in keeping me in darkness and despair. I hope you can find your mix soon. Don't give up!

[Myrto]

Originally Posted by SarahSweden

I can´t see any other answer to why I never improve than that I´m incurable. I try to improve my life outside therapy as well, one such thing is that I study for a year. But whatever I do I feel just empty and nothing ever improves my situation. When you tell people you feel mentally unwell I often hear and see in information about mental health care that you should "look for help, you can get better". But that´s not the case for me.

I can feel a bit better at short times but on the whole I just feel life is worthless and no therapy or other treatment seems to help me. I don´t care about small improvements as I have already tried so much for several years and nothing ever improves the big picture or substantial things in life.

Therapy doesn't work for everybody. It may not work for you. I agree with AllHeart about the vitamin levels. Vitamin C, B and D are very important. You might want to check into that. Also I used to be exhausted all the time, but I've started to take magnesium and it has definitely helped. It also reduces stress if you're prone to that. About the emptiness that you feel, I do feel that way a lot. I suffer from severe depression and I don't think it will ever disappear so I try to live with it. Some days are better than others.

[mostlylurking]

I agree that vitamins are worth trying, especially vitamin D since you are in Sweden. You would not want to take a high dose for a long period of time (months) without getting your blood levels checked, but you cannot harm yourself by trying a high dose (5,000 IU / day) for a couple of weeks to see if you notice any difference.

I take a huge bunch of fish oil every day and if I don't, if I stop for even a few days, I start getting both depressed and anxious. For me, omega-3's are crucial. Other people swear by B vitamins. Maybe try experimenting?

And, as for being in a bit of a rut in therapy (as I recall from some previous thread)... Is there anything you feel you do not want to tell your therapist about? Unfortunately I think a good way of making progress is to find something you would never want to tell them, and then... tell them anyway. Not wanting to talk about something can mean there is a lot of emotion around it, so it can be some of the most useful stuff.

[SarahSweden]

I have already tried several antidepressants and they didn´t work or they gave me side effects.

Originally Posted by LucyG

Look into nutritional therapy if you want to feel better. If you're on meds, they obviously aren't working. You feel hopeless because your brain isn't producing the neurotransmitters it needs to help you feel happy.

Alternative Mental Health

[SarahSweden]

No, I haven´t had them checked but I have taken multivitamins almost my whole life and also Omega 3 for several years. On the case it says those tablets should give me 100% of the daily intake you need of vitamine B, D and several others.

Originally Posted by AllHeart

Have you had your vitamin levels checked at all? I know vitamins D & B can be big contributors to mental unwellness if low. Both of my D & B levels were low. It took a while to get the levels up. Now that they are in the normal range I can feel a huge improvement.

It's been a mix of things for me to feel better & find hope (therapy, natural boosts to dopamine and serotonin, vitamins) but I believe the low vitamin levels were the major players in keeping me in darkness and despair. I hope you can find your mix soon. Don't give up!

[SarahSweden]

I take vitamins every day and some shorter periods I haven´t taken them and then I haven´t notice any difference I´m afraid. I think it´s very sad if one should have to accept to live with depression or any other condition that should be curable.

Originally Posted by Myrto

Therapy doesn't work for everybody. It may not work for you. I agree with AllHeart about the vitamin levels. Vitamin C, B and D are very important. You might want to check into that. Also I used to be exhausted all the time, but I've started to take magnesium and it has definitely helped. It also reduces stress if you're prone to that. About the emptiness that you feel, I do feel that way a lot. I suffer from severe depression and I don't think it will ever disappear so I try to live with it. Some days are better than others.

[SarahSweden]

Thanks. I take vitamin D daily but perhaps not in such high doses as you recommend. I´ve heard some doctors are warning people not to take too high doses of D vitamine and by that I haven´t tried more than recommended dose.

I thought a bit about if there is something I don´t want to talk about with my T and there isn´t. I would perhaps find some issues a bit embarrassing to talk about but not to that extent that I would refuse talk about them. We have also covered "everything", some issues more than others but she knows about sexual issues and those usually are hard for people to talk about.

I´m very disappointed as a lot of studies tell that a lot of people do improve from therapy and I have also had a very positive view on therapy for several years. I have often felt a bit more hopeful when I´ve read a book or article about therapy but now I just feel I´m the one of those incurables.

Originally Posted by mostlylurking

I agree that vitamins are worth trying, especially vitamin D since you are in Sweden. You would not want to take a high dose for a long period of time (months) without getting your blood levels checked, but you cannot harm yourself by trying a high dose (5,000 IU / day) for a couple of weeks to see if you notice any difference.

I take a huge bunch of fish oil every day and if I don't, if I stop for even a few days, I start getting both depressed and anxious. For me, omega-3's are crucial. Other people swear by B vitamins. Maybe try experimenting?

And, as for being in a bit of a rut in therapy (as I recall from some previous thread)... Is there anything you feel you do not want to tell your therapist about? Unfortunately I think a good way of making progress is to find something you would never want to tell them, and then... tell them anyway. Not wanting to talk about something can mean there is a lot of emotion around it, so it can be some of the most useful stuff.

[mostlylurking]

It might be worth checking your vitamin D levels if you are okay with doing a blood draw. I was taking 10,000 IU per day in the winter and my level was at the high end of normal, but a friend of mine got levels way too high from taking 5,000 IU / day. So it seems to depend on the individual. I myself don't apparently absorb it very well.

Incurable of what? Have you been diagnosed with depression? Have you thought about why you got depression now or have you had it forever? I believe that most depression is situational, has anything changed since you developed your depression? I am guessing you have explored all of this with your therapist. I really think that with the right help and support everyone can get better and eventually support themselves to try something new in their lives.
Something you said reminded me about something I read about clients who have had severe trauma in their lives. They fear feeling good and getting better because that feeling is unfamiliar and at times dangerous especially if your parents were the cause of your fear as a child, say they put you down and ridiculed you for doing well. Knocked you down a peg or two. These clients stay flat, disconnected and numbed. It feels dangerous for them to enter into therapy and to be seen. Dr janina fisher said all of this in her seminar mistakes of the heart: healing power of therapeutic repair.

[LucyG]

Originally Posted by SarahSweden

I have already tried several antidepressants and they didn´t work or they gave me side effects.

I absolutely would never recommend antidepressants as I know they don't work in the long run. They're no better than a placebo.

This site is about all the other types of treatments so check it out.

I've been using alternative treatment for 9+ years for my bipolar 2 as I had so many nasty side-effects from meds. What I use are amino acids that are used by my brain to produce neurotransmitters, and the mineral supplement lithium orotate.

Besides the advice above, another thing that effects mood is your iodine levels. I started taking nascent iodine a few months ago, and am amazed how much better I feel on it. I live in the Pacific Northwest where it gets dark by 4:30 in the winter so I usually get depressed as the days get shorter. Since taking the iodine, I haven't had any depression this fall which is amazing! Here's a video about iodine by the doctor whose product I use.

Here are some links to help you research treating yourself.

This is a brain function questionnaire that shows what neurotransmitters are responsible for what emotion. This is what I used to help me figure out what to take for my bipolar. I think you'll find that a lot of the emotions you're experiencing are due to not having enough serotonin and opioid neurotransmitters in your brain.

http://drjolee.com/Brain-Function-Questionnaire.pdf

This is a good book on using amino acids and other nutrients to treat a variety of conditions. I have this book, and it's very good.

Heal with Amino Acids and Nutrients book | Dr. Billie Sahley-painstress

I'm sure there are a lot of other resources out there so keep looking if these don't provide what you need. I can't begin to tell you how much better I feel using natural treatments to build up my health. And I'm soooo much happier. When I was on meds, my life was hopeless as two of the side-effects I had [that I didn't realize at the time was depression and anxiety. I still have some ups and downs, but it's based on things going on in my life, not just being hit with waves of depression like I used to experience for no reason.

[SarahSweden]

I´m incurable of everything that goes into my mental illness, the issues I know about and have been diagnosed with are depression and anxiety. I have a bad self image, very low faith in myself, bits of perfectionism, there are a lot of issues that don´t fall under any specific diagnoses but they are still there.

In total, all this makes me unemployed, lonely, feeling hopeless and I went to therapy to deal with all this, to be able to do something in my life but no, nothing ever changes. That´s why I see myself as incurable.

I have had the depression diagnosis for about two years now but I have feeling down longer than that.

I haven´t experienced any trauma like the ones you describe, I´m not in therapy specifically for childhood problems.

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

Incurable of what? Have you been diagnosed with depression? Have you thought about why you got depression now or have you had it forever? I believe that most depression is situational, has anything changed since you developed your depression? I am guessing you have explored all of this with your therapist. I really think that with the right help and support everyone can get better and eventually support themselves to try something new in their lives.
Something you said reminded me about something I read about clients who have had severe trauma in their lives. They fear feeling good and getting better because that feeling is unfamiliar and at times dangerous especially if your parents were the cause of your fear as a child, say they put you down and ridiculed you for doing well. Knocked you down a peg or two. These clients stay flat, disconnected and numbed. It feels dangerous for them to enter into therapy and to be seen. Dr janina fisher said all of this in her seminar healing therapeutic Rifts

[unaluna]

That might be a better attitude to have than being too optimistic. I read an article that said that some depressed people were very sure things would be better in the future, but they didnt have any kind of plan to make that happen, so it didnt happen! Things got worse. They were more delusional than realistic. So there is something to be said for looking at things realistically.

[kecanoe]

Originally Posted by mostlylurking

It might be worth checking your vitamin D levels if you are okay with doing a blood draw. I was taking 10,000 IU per day in the winter and my level was at the high end of normal, but a friend of mine got levels way too high from taking 5,000 IU / day. So it seems to depend on the individual. I myself don't apparently absorb it very well.

I also take large doses of vit D. I was up to 16,000 for a while (with regular blood tests) I'm taking less now because insurance only wants to pay for one test per year.

[BudFox]

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

Something you said reminded me about something I read about clients who have had severe trauma in their lives. They fear feeling good and getting better because that feeling is unfamiliar and at times dangerous especially if your parents were the cause of your fear as a child, say they put you down and ridiculed you for doing well. Knocked you down a peg or two. These clients stay flat, disconnected and numbed. It feels dangerous for them to enter into therapy and to be seen. .

I experienced something like this in therapy. I had a vague sense of wanting to reject whatever genuine concern or empathy was coming from the therapist, because it created too much dissonance. However i think part of my discomfort came from that the fact that I was so exposed and the therapist was protected. That made it decidedly threatening. I thought OP's therapist was not very warm or supportive, so not sure if this applies.

[BudFox]

I echo the suggestions about getting basic vitamin and mineral needs addressed. But i would caution about oversimplifying this. Vit D is pretty easy. Other stuff is not. B vit supplementation can be tricky. Also, some people might pop a few pills, not feel better, and abandon the whole nutritional aspect. What's really needed, i think, is a complete assessment of diet and nutrition. Gotta get the poisons out of the diet.

Problem with mainstream healthcare is that it seeks simplistic solutions to complex problems, like depression. Take a drug to fix your "chemicals", talk to a therapist, take a few vitamins, call it a day.

[Cyllya]

Might be worth looking into things like ADHD, Asperger's syndrome (autism spectrum disorder), sensory processing disorder, etc, because I've heard a lot about those sorts of things getting misdiagnosed as anxiety and/or depression (because they will obviously make you anxious and/or sad when you have them and aren't treated).

Originally Posted by SarahSweden

No, I haven´t had them checked but I have taken multivitamins almost my whole life and also Omega 3 for several years. On the case it says those tablets should give me 100% of the daily intake you need of vitamine B, D and several others.

Heck, that could be your problem! People who are against medications sometimes like to act as if scarfing supplements willy-nilly is a good idea, but it's not true. Even if you don't take enough to make you seriously ill, too much of those nutrients can cause ill effects.

If you eat a fairly normal diet and you're taking a pill with 100% DV, you're probably getting closed to double what you need. For some nutrients, that's okay, but not all of them.

Also, even if your intake of nutrients is good, I believe there are some medical problems that prevent your body from using the nutrients correctly.

It would be a good idea to get your nutrients and hormones checked. Unfortunately, depending on your insurance, it might be expensive.

Problem with mainstream healthcare is that it seeks simplistic solutions to complex problems, like depression. Take a drug to fix your "chemicals", talk to a therapist, take a few vitamins, call it a day.

No kidding, I feel like I rarely see any studies or articles that make any kind of distinction between messed up "chemicals," bad life circumstances, or sadness-inducing cognitive distortions. I know those are really hard to distinguish, but that doesn't mean the folks trying to research solutions to these problems shouldn't acknowledge the difference at all.

[SarahSweden]

My T knows about all my diagnoses and I have been diagnosed with "autistic traits" besides having depression and anxiety. But my T has known this from the start and as they are only traits of I don´t see that as an obstacle to getting better. My T is used to work with clients who has full diagnoses like ADHD and Aspergers and wouldn´t work with me if she saw I had a diagnosis that per se stopped me from getting better from therapy.

I think my loneliness and poor social network is a big part of why therapy sometimes doesn´t feel helpful. I have very little input from others, I now talk about closer friends to just hang out with. I have a few friends but they are more like "friends for coffee" than someone to seek for emotional support.

I try to look upon this like if my T had seen me as non curable she had stopped therapy. Sometimes I´m not convinced of that either but I try to think that way to keep a little bit of hope.

[unaluna]

My t said today, every little thing you do differently from before (like eating something healthy instead of ordering pizza) is a change in the right direction, and then all those little changes add up.

[-jimi-]

I think sometimes therapy isn't the best choice. If someone tries to establish deep friendships, the best way is to be a good friend, not to think what a friend could do for you. Sometimes people can really benefit from focusing on a (mutual) interest, or helping other people. Getting stuck at "My life should be better", is quite self centered. There are times when we need to be, and times when we don't. Constantly thinking about our own shortcomings is absolutely harmful. Sometimes it is better to try do just do things, anything, to get out of your own head.

https://www.bustle.com/articles/1028...t-an-introvert