Session update!

I had fear for no reason for tonight's session. T and I talked about last session and I told him about my assumptions on what he thought about what I said about channeling him and our song. Again, it is not an inappropriate song, it's a happy, upbeat song that focuses on the future.

He said if it was 'our' song he would want a say in that. It wasn't quite this blunt, I am forgetting the context of the conversation but I think he said it twice. There is a point there and I need to think about it.

He is glad that I shared my feelings with him and said he was sorry if he mishandled his response. He did say that I try often to see where he is with with something or what he thinks.

I guess the point is that I do not need to be focusing on what he thinks...ha wouldn't that be nice! I do this with everyone. I'll work on it though.

Next session my mom comes with me...that will be entertaining...

((Almedafan))

So glad you and T talked it out.

I want to say that I think you are very brave to bring your Mom in.

My mother is not alive but if she were i would not bring her......
Oh, man, and T thinks I dissociate? He should have known her!

Thanks Sister...I'm either brave or crazy...the jury is still out on that one!

Isn't it cool when you can see your outside-of-therapy patterns transpiring in therapy?

It's like a museum. You look at it, you say, ooooooh, ahhhhh, then you move on to the next thing.

Wait!

Aren't you supposed to do something about it after you see it? LOL. That's where I get stuck. I say, "Ooooh I see how the way I'm relating to T is identical to the way I relate to..... or.... the way I behave when..... " But that's usually as far as I get. I haven't gotten to the working on it outside of therapy part yet.

But I'm really glad you were able to smooth things over.

Your mom in your session?

Well it could be worse.

It could be... my mom. haha.... I wish you luck with that.

Congrats for being able to share how you felt with T. Have you and T discussed what you want to get out of having your mom come to your session? I think that could be a really interesting thing to do. I remember when you wrote about bringing your brother and it was both good and frustrating at the same time. Are you going to try to build on that experience and get something specific out of the session or is it more to just help your T understand your relationship with your mom?

I'm glad you talked about it with him and that it worked out.

That's great your session went well, almedafan.

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He did say that I try often to see where he is with with something or what he thinks.

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I'm not sure this is a bad thing, is it? It is good to be cognizant of another person's responses and feelings so a two way interaction isn't all "me me me." Plus, I think it is important to clarify things with a person when we don't understand what they mean, so it's not bad to check in with a person, "what did you mean when you said that?" That is one thing I learned from my couples counseling. Don't jump to conclusions about another person's intent, but seek clarification first (before assuming the worst). (I'm not saying you are doing this! You and your T sound like you are communicating very well of late.)

Good luck with the mom thing! I remember you said earlier she is seeing her own therapist now. So maybe she will know how to behave properly in therapy and be serious about the intent of the meeting. (((hugs)))

Thanks Sunny!

I think what he meant. Now that I've digested our session I'm thinking he meant that I am looking for his approval instead of trusting my own instincts.

I do make a lot of assumptions and make negative interpretations first. It really has me spiraling when I do this.

Oh and my mom told me last night (she's here now) that she is going to lay the ground rules down when we see my T. She doesn't want to talk about my dad or brother, just her and I. She wants to tell him a disturbing dream she had about me telling her my dad was dying of cancer.

I'm thinking to myself, what?? My T will not respond to her ground rules and he shouldn't. I told her to go with the flow and that she had better not be disrespectful to him in anyway.

She said 'oh don't worry, he'll love me'...eeeek. I'm okay though because I'll have T in the room. I'm not afraid of this anymore.