"It's your interpretation"

I had a session with my therapist today. It was awful. To everything I said, she responded "it's your interpretation". To the fact that she could just delete my emails, that the therapy was punitive, that it was completely misguided, etc. Everytime, the same response: it's your interpretation. I even asked what her supervisor thought of the whole thing. She refused to answer. It was like, literally, talking to a wall. She doesn't want to answer, she has decided, it is the way it is. She didn't used to be like that. Two years and a half of investment, money, energy and it ends like that. I'm heartbroken. And she gets away with everything. She gets to carry on with her life, convinced that she was right, while I'm left alone to pick up the pieces. Please don't tell me to just find another therapist. Other therapists clearly don't want to hear my story. Besides, I would have to start again, to start from zero, tell my story all over again, I just can't. What's the point? How can I eve trust another therapist? After all this? How?

here in my own location when a treatment provider says the words ....
it's your interpretation.... they are honoring the fact that everyone is different and everyone has the right to think and believe what ever they want to about anything that happens in their life.

example one day I was feeling particularly argumentative I pointed to one of my treatment providers favorite objects and said "thats the ugliest thing you have ever made" rather than engaging with my argumentative mood she simply stated "thats your interpretation" meaning I had a right to make my own opinions about that object, even if she didnt think it was ugly I still as a human being could think what ever I wanted to think about that object.

this kind of thing follows through with anything. as a human being with a thinking brain I can and do have my own opinions and views \ beliefs. my treatment providers treat me as a human being who has the right to express what ever opinions I feel I want to say. they dont have to agree with me, like the ugly ashtray it is my own interpretation (my own thoughts, beliefs, opinions) that they are honoring,

my treatment providers believe its more therapeutic to accept me for who and what I am and what I say and think are my own interpretations, rather than engaging into a debate or argument and trying to make me change to their own interpretations (their own thoughts, beliefs, opinions).

I actually like it that my own treatment providers do not want to spend therapy time fighting and arguing trying to change me to their own beliefs, their own opinions, their own thoughts.

btw I did have a treatment provider in the past that did try to fight and argue and change my own interpretations to theirs. I ended up telling that guy that I was not his pet dog or rat that needed training. I was a human being with feelings, thoughts, emotions, beliefs of my own and if he could not treat me with the respect of a human being rather than a dog that needs someone else to tell them what to think and do then he wasnt the therapist for me. then I walked out and never went back.

I am not going to say find another treatment provider....only you can decide whether you want to stay with a treatment provider that accepts that you have your own beliefs, interpretations, opinions of things that happen to you, or if you want to have a therapist that will fight argue and try to change your own opinions, beliefs, interpretations.

only you can decide if you want to continue to see a treatment provider who seems to bring you more stress and emotional pain or not.

Sorry she's being such an *** about all of this Myrto. It kind of seems like she wants you to quit. The first thing a therapist should be is consistent and she clearly hasn't done that at all.
I wonder if it would help you to speak to TELL: Therapy Exploitation Link Line about the way you have been treated. You can do so confidentially, anonymously and it is free. They will offer you all the support they can. I found them useful for processing what happened with T1 because they were completely on my side, which my T had struggled with.
I don't think there's any therapeutic value left in this relationship. I hope you can move forward in a way that works for you.

This therapist is abusing her power over you in astonishing ways. I understand your desperation though with the limited options you have. Have you considered phone or online therapy? Many professionals provide these and I can't imagine there would be no one to take you with your problem that way, plenty of possibilities. It might even be easier if you could keep a certain distance from them while processing this?

The story with my former therapist was nothing like yours in terms of disrespect and abuse, but my T did treat me in a very unprofessional way and kept imposing himself, infusing our interactions with his issues towards the end. I also temporarily lost respect and hope for therapy, but after a short while of frustration, I was very relieved when I left him... he was mostly just expanding my problems and introducing new ones into my life at that point. I did not just leave one day, there was hesitation and back and forth for a while, but when I finally left, I felt very empowered and happy that I did not let him abuse me and use the therapy to gain personal gratification. This relief and confidence only increased with time when I started working with my current T (after a couple months with no therapy) -- it's been an entirely different experience, a helpful and positive one. It also proved that the former therapy was much more the result of my Ts issues than my own, which my current T agrees with.

You mention that other therapists don't want to hear your story. I don't know what the original story was that you wanted to use therapy for, but it does not sound like she is addressing that at all. She has made it all about her and her opinions, decisions etc and now you are dealing with someone else's *** instead of progressing with your stuff.

Ughhh!! Yes this is half true and applies to any situation BUT to say it over and over again? Your T sounds incredibly dismissive and inhumane. Not all T's are like this!! But it sure leaves a bad taste in your mouth and hesitant to seek anyone else

I'm no fan or defender of therapists but I can think of a reason why she might be doing this -- therapeutic in her mind, though others might disagree. Would you like to hear it?

Sure. Tell me why she might be doing this. I'm interested.

it will be hard Myrto and maybe you need some time to heal your broken heart. I just wanted to say that you deserve a better therapist than this, do you know her supervisors name? I would ring her and if I didn't know that I would report her to her accreditation board but would that really help you right now?

Thanks. No I don't know her supervisor's name, of course not. How would I know it? It's not like my therapist is going to give me their name. Even if I knew it, they probably wouldn't take my call. There is no accreditation board, there is basically no recourse at all. I've checked. She gets away with everything.

I'm really sorry Myrto!

Unfortunately I don't think you'll change her mind. She doesn't get it and she might never. She won't understand how she hurt you because she doesn't think she's wrong.

I know how it feels to be in a dysfunctional therapeutic relationship. You don't have the internal resources to leave but staying is killing you. There's no easy solution.

Hoping you find the strength to do what's healthiest for you.

Remember - no therapist can be better than a bad therapist. Nobody is worth damaging yourself over.

Thanks. I sent TELL an email. I don't really know what they can do but at this point, I have nothing to lose.

Is this your therapist?

Sometimes therapists do disclose their supervisors name. She only gets away with it if you let her.

That must have been so frustrating and annoying. Has this been the first session where she has become repetitive? Perhaps she's trying to make a point andi understand that but if it's causing you more frustration then I don't see the benefit of her approach. I would walk into the next session and tell her truly how you felt about that sessions and how you felt that you wee left picking up the pieces. See what she has to say then. Perhaps try explaining that the repetition of the same phrase made it seem
Like you were talking to a wall.

She's "telling" you, in an absurdly nonexplicit way, that your complaints can't "change" her, she is who she is, and that how you respond to her is "up to you".

My personal experience is that my T's didn't understand how difficult it was for me to understand this kind of interaction. I didn't have any other way to deal with things. I didn't have any other responses in my "toolkit" of things that it was "up to me" to use, and they didn't provide, or know how to help me develop them.

My last therapy ended in a rupture without repair. Nevertheless, for what it's worth, that's what I think may be going on.